


The Melancholy Life Of Bill Cipher

by eyes_glued_shut



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: (set about 3 years after canon events), (sort of), Alcohol, Amnesia, Amnesiac Bill Cipher, Anger, Angst, Bill Cipher's Backstory, Bill is trying his hardest, Domestic Fluff, Drowning, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hints to Bill's Homeland, Human Bill Cipher, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mild Blood, Nightmares, Older Pines Twins, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possession, Post-Portal incident (Gravity Falls), Pre-Portal Incident (Gravity Falls), Regaining Memories, Reincarnation, Sad Bill Cipher, Second Chances, Supernatural Elements, Vomiting, descriptions of nightmares
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2018-11-15 07:13:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11225958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyes_glued_shut/pseuds/eyes_glued_shut
Summary: "Don't trust the moon, she's always changing. The shores bend and break for her, and she begs to be loved."-Bill Cipher changes more often than the tide. He alters himself for others, and has lost sense of who he once was and who he'll become. Nothing is constant; except Stanford Pines. The only thing he cannot control.Snappy dresser, snappy liar.





	1. The Queen and His Pawn

The overwhelming feeling of worship was like a drug to Bill. He was addicted to the feeling, the sensation of worship. He was a god and the world fell to their knees when he arrived. The world was Stanford Pines, a man with a brilliant mind with even more brilliant ideas. The man Bill Cipher had started to get attached to. _[He was already in too deep, but deny, deny, deny. Deny it all.]_ Stanford Pines was his ticket out of the Nightmare Realm, his road to freedom, his pawn in the chess game Bill called life. He was the queen, the most powerful piece on the board. Always one step ahead and able to move wherever he wanted. _[The king was dull, Bill tried being the king once and he lost everything.]_ Stanford Pines had the chance to become a queen if he moved across the board, but Bill thought Stanford suited a rook or bishop, the second most valuable piece. He also had other players involved, but they weren’t in existence just yet. A boy with a hat and a smiling girl, a man with a fez, who looked a lot like Stanford. More pawns for him to use and discard whenever he needed to.

Denying that he was attached to Stanford was like denying the earth was spherical. He couldn’t be attached, Bill Cipher didn’t grow attached to anyone anymore. _[William Cipher did, but William Cipher died a long time ago.]_ ~~His golden heart beats only for Stanford Pines,~~ he didn’t have a heart, and he didn’t need a heart. Nothing will make Bill weak and frail, as weak and frail was _William,_ not Bill. They weren’t the same person, no matter what anyone said.

His chess game style life was laid out in front of him, and a pawn he didn’t know he had glowed, a small blue tinge emitting from it and Bill picked it up. A blond man wearing a yellow sweater stared back at him, and Bill rolled the piece between his forefinger and thumb before chucking it back on the board. It bounced, once, twice, and then stopped in front of the pawn that was Stanford Pines. Bill’s eye narrowed in confusion, before he noticed a bubble had opened up nearby him. His many eyes into the three dimensional town of Gravity Falls had opened up and he saw his unknown pawn walking around in a forest. Things clicked in his mind and if he had a mouth he would smile.

Possession.

It was a lot messier than Bill remembered, and he spent at least thirty minutes after it trying to work out how to control a body. Left foot, right foot, left foot. Blink with his two eyes and remember to breathe. In and out and suck the air into his lungs _[he had lungs now!]_ Ugh, human bodies were exhausting! He walked around the woods, getting used to how this body worked before heading off in a direction he assumed would lead him to where Stanford Pines lived. Bill knew that Stanford lived in the middle of the woods, away from prying eyes and unaware townsfolk.

It took him a while to find the shack where Stanford lived, and he was exhausted from walking and breathing and blinking. He climbed up the porch steps and tried to open the door. It didn’t open, so he tried again. And again. The door wouldn’t move and Bill began to wonder whether this was even the right house. The sound of leaves crunching made Bill jump and turn around quickly. Standing in front of him was Stanford _[in real life!]_ holding two bags of something.

“Can I help you?” Stanford asked, sounding concerned as to why someone was trying to open the door to his home. Bill felt giddy hearing Stanford’s voice in real life. He grinned _[with his mouth! A mouth!]_ and stepped aside to let Stanford open the door.

“That’s no way to greet your all-knowing, all loving Muse!” Bill beamed, watching the look on Stanford’s face turn from confusion to happiness, then back to confusion. Bill was glad he had his own voice, otherwise he was certain that Stanford wouldn’t recognize him.

“Bill…? How… You’re--” Stanford had no idea how to form sentences, let alone tell Bill what was going through his mind at that current moment.

“Let’s just say there’s many things I can do that you don’t know about,” Bill said with a wink, watching closely as Stanford stuck a key into the door and turned it. “You lock the door? Huh. That’s why I couldn’t get in.”

Stanford laughed, opening up the door and looking over at Bill. “Do you want to come in? I apologize at how untidy the place is, I wasn’t expecting visitors so soon.

Bill nodded, and the two walked in. It was weird not seeing the house through an eyehole from the mindscape. It felt… homely? _[It also smelled like coffee and paper and Bill couldn’t help but feel happy because that’s exactly how he imagined this place to smell like.]_ Sure, it looked a little unorganized and Bill was certain that the plant in the corner of the room was dead, but it fit Stanford perfectly.

After a quick tour around the house, and a lot of odd comments from Bill, Stanford suddenly realized that he should show Bill the work he had done for the portal. Bill’s attention was focused on the dead plant, poking the leaves and feeling sorry for it.

“There’s no use trying to save the plant. He’s long gone,” Stanford said, walking towards where Bill was crouching near the plant. “It was a gift from my mother. I’ve never really been one to look after plants.”

“You can still save it. Just pour water on it,” Bill suggested, watching as the leaf he was poking fell off of the main stem.

“Bill, it’s dead and falling apart,” Stanford said, before changing the conversation. “Do you want to see how the project is going?”

Bill’s eyes lit up at the mention of the portal and he stood up, nodding quickly. “Yes! Lead the way, Sixer!” He grinned, hearing Stanford chuckle as he led him off to his lab. Bill was impressed to learn that it would be built underground, in the basement. It was unlike any previous attempts at building this project. When they got downstairs, Bill’s mood changed. He had been expecting a grand creation, whirring away and working. Instead there were piles of metal piled up in one corner, crates of unknown items and blueprints, lots of blueprints, scattered around.

“Huh…” Bill muttered, walking out from the elevator and into the room. He certainly wasn’t expecting this. He picked up a blueprint and frowned a little. “You’ve been working hard.”

“Ah, yes, uh, I’ve called up one of my old college friends to help out with the mechanics and the construction of the portal,” Stanford said, noticing Bill’s expression. “I think letting someone else read over all my calculations would help, too,” he added quickly.

Bill didn’t like the sound of getting someone else involved, especially because he didn’t know who was going to help. He chose Stanford for a reason, and he didn’t need any other rats getting involved. _[Of course, Stanford wasn’t a rat. More like a field mouse or another cuter looking animal. ~~Wait what?~~ ] _Bill read through the blueprint he had, before shaking his head.

“There’s a few errors in here, do you have a pen?” He asked Stanford, who started patting his pockets and taking out a pen. Bill crossed out a few numbers and scribbled the correct equation down. “Here. See? You don’t need any of your old buddies to help, you have me! Also I’m loving the design you’ve chosen. Real slick.”

“Oh, thank you, Bill. And he knows more about mechanics than I do, so it seemed useful to me at the time,” Stanford explained, watching as Bill tapped the pen against his chin and shook his head.

“Nah, I don’t like the idea of that. What if he tries and takes credit for all your hard work? I came to you for a reason. You know that.” Bill handed the pen back and rolled up the blueprint. “You don’t need anyone’s help. You can do this by yourself.”

Stanford smiled at Bill’s comment, before remembering that his friend would be arriving soon, so it was too late to cancel on him now. Besides, a little extra help never hurt anyone, right?

“May I ask where you got yourself a body from?” Stanford asked, changing the subject before Bill could say anything else.

“I have my ways, Fordsy. A little buddy decided to help me out and I owe him big time now!” Bill said with a grin, lying. _[He had always been good at that. Snappy dresser, even snappier liar.]_  “Anyway! How about we start planning on getting this baby to actually work!” He tapped the blueprint on Stanford’s shoulder.

“Oh, of course! Things should run smoother now that you’re here,” Stanford said, walking over to a crate that held many odd things. He searched through it before pulling out some things. “Right then, should we get started?”

 

                                                 --

Weeks passed by as Stanford and Bill worked together. Bill spent more time sitting back and watching Stanford work, but that counts as help, right? He also spent a lot of time getting to know Stanford a little more personally. Besides from the occasional snoop around Stanford’s mind, Bill found out a lot more than he intended to. It took a while to get him to crack, but once the level of trust was gained Stanford was like a running faucet with information. Of course, in return Stanford wanted to learn more about Bill, but Bill was a broken faucet, one that refused to even drip water. He would sometimes let things slip, but he would never go into detail about anything. _[Old Bill was dead, remember? William Cipher laid six feet under in a hypothetical grave.]_ Stanford would push and push for more, and Bill would refuse.

Stanford always wanted more, Bill noticed. More, more, more. It reminded him of when he was younger, always wanting to learn more. It annoyed him some days, especially when he didn’t want to talk and just wanted to work. It got worse when Stanford’s friend turned up.

Bill was _shocked_ when the knock on the door came, followed by a friendly “Hey there, old friend! Nice place ‘ya got here!” Bill was sitting in the kitchen, and he had to stop eating just in case he vomited from how much he wanted to kill the guy, and he hadn’t even met him yet! He heard the door closed, and he made sure to make as much noise in the kitchen to remind Stanford the real reason why he was even seeing his ‘buddy’ again. His chair scraped across the kitchen floor, and his bowl clattered into the sink. When he heard the voices getting closer, he turned around and leaned against the counter, acting casual.

“… and that’s why I chose to build this place here instead of in town!” Stanford finished up whatever story he was telling his ‘buddy’ and noticed Bill. “Oh, yes, Bill, I forgot you were here. This is my old college friend, Fiddleford McGucket. Fiddleford, this is Bill. He’s been helping me out with the project, mainly just blueprints and collecting items that we may need.”

Bill didn’t pay attention to Fiddleford when he said hello, and chose to look him up and down before turning to glare at Stanford. “You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me,” he said with an over friendly smile as he walked out of the kitchen. He made sure to push past the two, just so they (mostly Stanford) remembered who’s really in charge here.

He headed to his room, which wasn’t really his room anymore. Stanford said he needed a spare room for Fiddleford, and, as a good host, he told Bill to sleep in the attic. He needed to get the last of his things from the room before Fiddleford uses the room. He had collected a lot of things during his stay, many things coming from the forest. He shoved everything he wanted to move into a small bag that Stanford had so kindly let him borrow, before sighing. The bag was filled with trinkets like a stone that resembled a triangle, a stolen hat from a gnome, and the odd animal bone or tooth he found that was shoved into a jar. Once he was sure all of his belongings that remained were in the bag, he picked it up and made the journey up into the attic.

The attic had yet to be refurbished to Bill’s liking. He had a bed, a small bedside table and a closet that held the little amount of clothes he had. _[He didn’t want to get too comfortable, in case he had to suddenly leave.]_ He put the bag on his new bed and started to unpack. He smoothed the gnome’s hat out before placing it on the bedside table, next to the lamp Stanford put up there. He chose a few more things to place out, like the jar of bones and the rocks that looked like him, before shoving the bag into the closet and closing the door. He looked around his new room, and decided that he didn’t like it. He turned around to go and complain to Stanford, before jumping when he noticed Stanford was standing in the doorway.

“Do you like your new room?” Stanford asked, crossing his arms and leaning slightly against the doorframe. _[He looked so casual and good and Bill felt his heart skip a beat. Should he worry about that? Probably not.]_

“I hate it,” Bill replied bluntly, turning his head away. “It’s too small. Why did you force me out of my old room, huh? Fiddlesticks should have this one.”

“Well, it seems like you’ve made yourself at home up here either way,” Stanford said, gesturing to how everything was placed out neatly. “And your old room was on the first floor. I wanted to make sure F was comfortable, and I also thought you’d appreciate being away from everyone else.”

Bill frowned, before walking to sit on his bed. “Yeah, well, I don’t like Fiddlewhatever. He gives me a weird vibe.” He smoothed out a few creases on a pillow, and looked at Stanford.

“Bill, you know I can’t do all this by myself. Enlisting the help of F will help with completing the project faster,” Stanford explained as he walked into the room, closing the door behind him.

“You have my help! You have an _all knowing god_ helping you, and you wanted some- some washed up mechanic to help you?!” Bill shouted, feeling rather offended.

“Calm down, okay? I had asked for his help way before you turned up here, so I’m not intentionally leaving you out…” Stanford went and sat down beside Bill. “You don’t have to get along with him, but at least be nice to him…”

“No, I don’t want some outsider coming in and ruining our plans,” Bill snapped. “You don’t need him, Stanford. Me and you, we can do great things together! We don’t need a third wheel…” He turned to face Stanford, grabbing his hands. “In the future is just us two, doing amazing things.”

Stanford sighed, looking down at their hands before looking back up at Bill. “You need to trust that I know what I’m doing. I trust Fiddleford, and so should you. He’ll help us out a lot, Bill.” He pulled his hands away and stood up. “I’ll be making lunch soon. Do you want anything?”

Bill shook his head, and Stanford left. Once the door closed and he was alone, he laid down on his bed, his face in the pillow and sighed. His plans were crumbling around him. He closed his eyes and decided that a nap would help him calm down.

Bill still didn’t understand why he had dreams. As a dream demon, he should be the one to control them, but as he was in a human body things took a different turn. Nightmares would ghost his mind every now and then, and most of the time Bill coped. He found them to be funny, especially when the people involved died or were hurt. However he didn’t like how _oddly specific_ the nightmare he was having was.

He was at home, and he wasn’t himself. William Cipher was lead role in this dream. Weak William, surrounded by blue flames. _[Not so weak now, huh?]_ Fire was spreading around fast, people screaming and crying out. William wasn’t supposed to stay around for this long, and he tried to move. His feet were stuck in cement, and he was unable to call for help. _[Not like it would do much!]_ He tried to scream, tried to get the fuck out of this dream. Fire was surrounding him with no way out. This was not how this event happened. He screamed and screamed and begged to wake up. He felt the warmth of the blue flames start to creep up his legs and soon he--

He sat up as he woke up, breathing heavily and feeling his heart race. What the fuck was that all about? He heard frantic knocking on the door, before it opened. Stanford stood there, looking rather concerned.

“Go away, I’m trying to sleep,” Bill said, laying back and pulling the blanket over him. He tried to pretend like he wasn’t freaking out about the nightmare… “And wait until I say you can come in…”

“Bill, you were screaming. Is… everything alright?” Stanford asked, walking into the room.

“I was not screaming. I’ve been sleeping…” Bill replied, pushing the blanket off of him and sitting up, rubbing his eyes. Now that he was a little more awake, he felt hot, and watery. _[He knew he was sweating. Did he really have a nightmare? Bill Cipher didn’t have nightmares, that’s stupid.]_ He wiped his forehead, frowning a little. He remembered parts of the dream he had, and now that he was thinking about it…

“I had a nightmare,” Bill said quickly, putting his hand on his chest and noticing that his heart was still beating fast. “I… had a nightmare.” The more he spoke about it the more he remembered. _[The fire, so much fire. And screaming, from him? No, not from him. From William. Dead William.]_

“Do you want to talk about it…?” Stanford asked, hesitant to walk over to comfort Bill, but he did anyway. He sat on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on Bill’s shoulder.

Bill shook his head, staring at the wall in front of him. “You wouldn’t understand... You’re just a human.”

“What do you mean by that?” Stanford raised an eyebrow. “Nightmares can scare you, Bill, and we all get them-”

“It was a memory, Stanford.” Bill turned to look at him. “A horrible memory that I wish to forget. A stupid, stupid memory...” He grabbed onto Ford’s hand tightly, before saying, “I’m helping you with building this portal. I’m helping the world out by doing this. Whatever happens, I-I’m helping! Okay? I'm _helping._ ”

Stanford just nodded, not sure what Bill meant by it all. “Of course you are. You said yourself that this device will change the world,” he said with a reassuring smile. Bill couldn’t help but give a weak smile back. He pulled Stanford into a hug, a rare show of affection wouldn’t hurt, right? _[Besides, everything he did was for Stanford. He should start showing his appreciation to have someone like Stanford in his life more often.]_

Bill felt a hand on his back, and a small sigh escape from Stanford. And for the first time in a while, Bill saw many possible outcomes with Stanford. Nice, happy outcomes that…required some things to stop. Bill moved away from the hug, thinking through the new information he had gathered.

“Are you feeling any better?” Stanford asked, and Bill nodded. His heartbeat had returned to the normal beat. _[Well, as normal as it could get when he was around Stanford.]_

“Well, you should probably come down and eat dinner, there’s leftover food downstairs if you want it,” Stanford said, and Bill nodded again.

“I’ll come get some. What did you make? And is it burnt?” Bill asked with a small laugh, climbing over Stanford to get out of his bed. He decided that he needed to change into fresh clothes. “Also, what happened to that box of mac and cheese? And if it’s still there can I have it?”

“Oh, yes, that’s still available for you to eat if you want it,” Stanford said, watching as Bill searched through his closet for clothes. “We really need to get you more clothes, Bill. You can’t live with only three shirts.”

“The day I add more clothes is the day I decide I’m staying for good.” Bill picked out the Backupsmore University sweater that Stanford had received once he left. It was an ugly green colour, and Stanford forgot he even had it until Bill found it in a box in the attic. “Besides, why waste money on clothes when you can walk around naked? It’s easier.”

“You aren’t walking around naked, Bill. Especially not with F here,” Stanford warned. Bill just laughed, swapping his shirt he was wearing for the sweater.

“It’s a lot more freeing. Less hassle, too. You should try it sometime.” Bill threw his sweaty shirt back into the closet and smiled. “The invisible wizard that lives in there will love that shirt!”

Stanford raised an eyebrow, but before he could say anything he was cut off by Bill grabbing his hand and pulling him up from the bed.

“Let’s go make mac and cheese and talk to your buddy Fiddle McGee!” Bill exclaimed, dragging Stanford downstairs quickly, rambling on about nothing.

By the time they arrived downstairs, Fiddleford was studying the blueprints he had been given by Stanford. There was a look of confusion on his face, and when he noticed the two had entered, he began to list any concerns he had to Stanford.

“This thing is goin’ to be awfully big. And I’ve never seen calculations as wild as these ones! Are you sure they’re correct?” Fiddleford kept spewing out questions, before Bill laughed, and walked over to him.

“Fiddlesticks, my dear friend,” Bill started, placing a hand on Fiddleford’s shoulder, causing him to flinch ever so slightly. “You have to have trust in us! I _personally_ wrote out each calculation and blueprint to be exactly how I envisioned the final product! So quit complaining and start working.” He moved away from Fiddleford, opening up cabinets and searching for the box of mac and cheese.

“But the… this thing looks impossible to build, and that’s comin’ from a scientist’s point of view!” Fiddleford said to Stanford, who simply sighed.

“I’ve tried every other way to create this gateway, and that way is the only way that’s possible.” Stanford pointed to the blueprint Fiddleford was holding. “Trust me, this will work.”

Bill climbed onto the counter top in order to grab the box that was on the top shelf, and jumped when he heard Stanford chuckle slightly.

“You could ask for help, Bill,” Stanford said, watching as Bill jumped down from the counter.

“Asking for help is like admitting defeat.” Bill placed the box on the side, brushing out his sweater. “And I don’t admit defeat.”

“Alright then, I guess you don’t want help cooking your food, hm?” Stanford raised an eyebrow, and Bill groaned, picking up the box and holding it out for Stanford to take and cook.

It was at that moment Bill realized that in some cases, he was willing to admit defeat.

-

Bill woke up early the next day, having yet another nightmare. _[William Cipher was dead, and he was not willing to relive everything he’s tried to block out.]_ Bill was the first one downstairs, and he poured himself some cereal. He hoped that Stanford would be the next to wake up, but apparently the world hated him and Fiddleford came into the kitchen. Fiddleford was the type of person to be happy to be awake this early in the morning, and Bill guessed he was also the type to sing a happy song in the morning, too. _[He hoped that Fiddleford wouldn’t sing, nor play any instrument.]_

“Good mornin’, uh…” Fiddleford paused, having forgotten Bill’s name. Before Bill could tell him, Fiddleford snapped his fingers and pointed at him. “Bill! Right?”

Bill just nodded, going back to eating his cereal. Fiddleford sat opposite him, and started talking about how he knew of a man called Bill who would sing random songs to everyone in his hometown. Bill stopped listening halfway through, not wanting to talk to Fiddleford. Bill was thankful when he noticed Stanford had woken up and joined them in the kitchen. He said his good mornings, before showing Fiddleford where everything was, saying that he was free to take anything he needed. Bill rolled his eyes at that, remembering how Stanford told him not to take anything from the kitchen unless he had said so. _[It didn’t stop him from stealing food.]_

“So… When are we getting to work?” Bill asked, tapping his spoon against the bowl and looking up at Stanford.

“Bill, I’ve told you about this,” Stanford said, turning to look at him. Stanford didn’t want to start work until he had explained everything to Fiddleford, which was taking longer than what Bill wanted. He wanted to get going and finish this project by the end of the year, but Fiddleford kept asking questions and kept  _complaining_ about the overall design of the portal, which offended Bill a lot. Stanford excused himself from the room to get something else he had forgotten to show Fiddleford. Bill pointed his spoon over at Fiddleford, a droplet of milk falling and splashing back into the bowl. 

 "You like astronomy, Fiddlesticks?" Bill asked, watching as Fiddleford got a little uncomfortable at the rather odd and random question.

"I suppose so, why? You don't look like the one to discuss space and such," Fiddleford replied. Bill just laughed, before putting his spoon back in his bowl and folding his hands on the tabletop.

"Well then. Want to know a secret that even the top space guys don't even know about?" He smiled as Fiddleford's eyes lit up at the chance to learn something no one else did. "Don't trust the moon, she's always changing. The shores bend and break for her, and she  _begs_ to be loved." With that, Bill stood up and left the room, leaving a confused and slightly concerned Fiddleford behind, alone.

"...Huh?" 

 

                                                          --

The colder days were starting to roll in, with the last of autumn dying along with nature, and the start of winter kicking in. Bill had refused to work down in the lab as it was freezing, which therefore meant Stanford couldn’t work either. Bill also suggested the idea to Fiddleford to go home to visit his family, and of course Stanford couldn’t say no to that suggestion, so Fiddleford left for a few weeks to visit his family.

Which left Bill and Stanford alone.

They were both in Bill’s room, trying to redecorate. It was Stanford’s idea, but neither of them knew what they were doing, so most of the furniture was just piled in the middle of the room. Bill looked around, before sitting down on the bed.

“I think we should call it a day and carry on tomorrow,” he said, brushing any dust off of his shirt. “Don’t you agree?”

Stanford shook his head, taking off his sweater and setting it down on the back of a chair. _[ ~~Bill wondered many things as he watched, like what was under the shirt he was wearing and how Stanford can look so… good~~.] _ “We have a lot to move, Bill, and I think if we stop we will not want to continue.”

Bill just nodded, not paying attention to what he was saying. He was more focused on Stanford, rather than what he was talking about. He just wished they could take a break together already.

“Ugh, but I’m so bored of this! Whose great idea was it to buy more furniture for my room?” Bill whined, standing up with an over dramatic groan. “Can’t I go get some juice before we continue?”

Stanford chuckled at how dramatic Bill was being over something simple like redecorating, before nodded. “Come back up here quickly, though.”

Bill stood up, and walked out of the room quickly. He wished that Stanford would take a break with him, but he didn’t mind being alone. He went down into the kitchen, opening the fridge and getting out a carton of orange juice. He then remembered that Stanford kept all the glasses in the top cabinet, the one place he couldn’t reach. He groaned, pushing himself up so he was kneeling on the counter top and opening the cabinet. He grabbed a glass, and placed it beside him. As he went to close the cabinet, his leg moved, causing the glass to fall off of the counter top and smash into pieces. Bill heard movement come from upstairs, followed by footsteps down the stairs.

“Bill?” Stanford called out, and Bill replied with a groan. He twisted himself so he was sitting and looked down at the glass. Stanford walked into the kitchen. “Oh.”

“I knocked the glass off. Can you stop putting them so high up? This fleshbag isn’t tall enough to reach them,” Bill complained, crossing his arms over his chest. “Also we’re running low on orange juice. Tell Fiddlesticks to stop drinking it when he comes back.”

Stanford sighed, walking over towards Bill and crouched down to pick up the glass pieces. “Did you buy the orange juice?” He asked, making sure to take care with picking each bit up.

“…No, but I drink it. You should be more respectful to your _Muse_ ,” Bill snapped, watching Stanford pick up the glass. “I’m going to write my name on it.”

“Please don’t write your name on it,” Stanford sighed.

“You’re right. I’ll write my name in code! That’ll really make him stop drinking it!” Bill said through a laugh, smiling as Stanford stood up with the broken glass. Bill noticed that they were rather close, which caused his heartbeat to speed up quickly. _[Odd, odd feeling. He didn’t like it.]_

“Bill, please don’t do anything. Leave F alone, he’s only just getting used to all of the weirdness in town,” Stanford said, setting the broken glass down. He reached over and grabbed another glass for Bill.

Bill felt his cheeks warm up because Stanford was _even closer_ to him than before. He placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat faster than before. He tried to think about what could be causing all of this when…

“Human feelings,” Bill exclaimed, causing Stanford to move back, holding the glass in his hands.

“Pardon?” He raised an eyebrow at Bill’s sudden comment, setting the glass down, away from Bill in case he broke this one.

“That’s what I’m feeling! And it’s gross.” Bill wrinkled his nose up in disgust, noticing that Stanford still looked confused. “Also, how fast should a heart be beating? Because mine is going way too fast.” He grabbed Stanford’s hand and placed it on his chest. “See?”

Stanford chuckled at Bill’s naivety to the human body. “It shouldn’t be beating this fast constantly.”

“Can you make it stop?” Bill asked, before frowning and moving Stanford’s hand to his stomach. “You feel that, too? Those butterflies have been buzzin’ around for _weeks_ now and I would like them to stop as well.”

“Are you nervous about anything?” Stanford asked, as Bill shook his head. “Scared?”

“Bill Cipher doesn’t get scared, Stanford.” _[William Cipher does. William get scared all the time.]_

Stanford simply nodded, picking up the broken glass to throw away. “So the nightmares don’t scare you at all?” He asked, knowing it was risky to even mention them.

Bill’s eye twitched at the mention of his nightmares, but he simply put on a fake smile and jumped down from the counter top. “But Stanford, nightmares aren’t real! How can I be scared of something that isn’t real? That’s like your brother being afraid of your father’s approval and love for him! It’s not real, so tell me, why is he still scared of it?” Bill knew he hit a nerve with that comment. He knew a lot more than Stanford thought, and that played well when it came to situations like this.

“How did you…” Stanford took a step back as Bill walked towards him. He kept the smile plastered on his face.

“I will dig up all of the skeletons in your closet if you _dare_ mention my nightmares again. Got it, Stanford?” Bill tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, waiting for a reply that was never vocalized.

Stanford nodded. And Bill left the room.


	2. Your Sickening Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m trying to figure out if the person I knew last month is the same person I know now.” -- Stanford Pines, the man that changed the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a wee lil warning before we start, theres a small mention of blood in this chapter? and also theres a bit where vomiting is mentioned. i thought id put a warning here just in case anyone is uncomfortable and needed a heads up!!

Fresh snow covered the ground, the only footprints were those from birds, or the odd creature that scurried around past the shack. The residents inside hadn’t left since the snow began to fall, and that was three weeks ago. The door to the shack opened, and the first human footprint was made. The reason why they had left? Food was running low. (And Bill also wanted to try out what food was available locally, which Stanford reluctantly agreed on doing.)

Bill jumped into the snow, blinking twice before picking up a handful of it. He made a comment about how he couldn’t feel his fingers, before an impatient Stanford grabbed his arm and dragged him up the path into town.

“All this white stuff is pretty cool, wouldn’t you agree?” Bill looked over at Stanford with a smile _[a genuine smile.]_

“I’m not really a snow person, if I’m honest. I prefer fall,” Stanford replied, brushing some snow off Bill’s shoulder.

“So you’re a death kinda guy? I like that.” Bill wiggled his eyebrows up and down, before laughing at Stanford. “I’m kiddin’. Fall’s a nice season. Kinda cold, kinda warm. And of course there’s Halloween! The perfect time to go monster hunting, y’know.”

“That’s not true. Anytime is perfect monster hunting time if you believe it is,” Stanford corrected, looking down at Bill and waiting for a witty response back. He got a shrug of the shoulders, and that was it. Bill had been making less and less comments back to whatever Stanford said, which was worrying the scientist slightly. He made a mental note in the back of his mind to figure out what was going on inside Bill’s head.

They walked into town, mostly in silence. Bill would make an odd comment or two along the way, and Stanford would reply, and then they would be quiet. They got to the store, and Bill was thankful that not many people were inside. He took note of the few townsfolk that were shopping, and decided that he didn’t like any of them. He also couldn’t wait until the eighties were over.   _[He was never a people person anyway, more like an “I choose to talk to you or we don’t talk at all” kind of guy.]_ Bill was greeted with smells he didn’t know of and colours he forgot existed. _[Being cooped up in a house with dull browns made him miss bright colours. ~~He never saw much colour back in his home dimension.~~ ] _Stanford left briefly to get a cart, and when he came back Bill was staring at a poster, advertising a new brand of apple juice. He had missed colour. He felt Stanford gently drag him away from the poster, and walked down an aisle.

“We need to get that apple juice,” Bill said, stopping to grab a box of crackers that someone had placed on the cereal shelf. “And we need these crackers, too.”

“Bill, put them back. I made a list and crackers aren’t on the list,” Stanford said, a hint of sterness in his voice. “I’m trusting you to behave here, you know. The townsfolk don’t know much about me and I don’t want them to assume anything. So _behave._ ”

“I am behaving, I’m just saying we need these crackers.” Bill held up the box of ‘Cryptid Crackers’ and placed them in the cart. Stanford just sighed. It was like he was dealing with an overgrown child. Bill’s eyes widened for a moment, an idea forming in his mind before he held onto the edge of the cart and tried to climb in. Stanford wasn’t paying attention as he checked his list before grabbing the cereal he needed (as well as the one Fiddleford requested for.) As he turned back, he was met with Bill sitting rather uncomfortably in the cart, a grin on his face.

“I want that cereal. The owl one. Thanks,” Bill said, trying to figure out a way to get comfortable in the cart. When Stanford didn’t do what Bill wanted, Bill pointed at the box of cereal he wanted. “Ford, the owl cereal. The one with the owls. I want the owl one.”

Stanford turned around slowly and picked up the requested box of cereal. He looked back, not surprised to see that Bill had now made himself comfortable in the cart. He sighed. “Bill, I- You know what? Stay in there. But don’t complain when you get surrounded by food,” Stanford grumbled, putting the boxes of cereal beside Bill. “And put those crackers back, _please._ ”

Bill held on tight to the box, and shook his head. Stanford knew it was useless trying to argue with Bill, so he simply pushed the cart and tried to ignore Bill’s eagerness to buy _everything_ in the store. The rest of the shopping experience was similar. Bill wanting food, Stanford refusing and Bill grabbing it off of the shelf anyway. Bill would constantly ask if Stanford knew anyone they walked past, and that earned them odd looks. Bill was also certain that the lady with purple hair was talking about him, so he made a promise to himself to haunt her dreams tonight.

By the time they checked out their items, (and Stanford paying double the amount of money he planned the groceries to be, thanks to Bill), the two made their way home. Bill made sure to complain as he carried the groceries all the way back. _[He swore to never go out and help Stanford with the groceries again.]_ Stanford was glad he made Bill carry most of the heavier items, but after a while Bill’s complaining started to annoy him, so Stanford ended up carrying everything.

One they reached the shack, Stanford stayed in the kitchen to unpack whilst Bill sat outside in the snow. He sat on the porch steps, looking around at how peaceful everything was. He spent a lot of time watching Earth, and many dimensions he helped liberate had snow as part of their seasons. This was the first time in centuries he was sitting in snow. He picked up a handful from the ground, watching as the warmth from his body melted the snow. _[The coldness of it reminded him of simpler times, where he would read about the third dimension in totally legal books he had discovered. ~~He missed home a lot.~~ ] _He turned around when he heard the door open, and out walked Stanford.

“I thought you were unpacking?” Bill asked, brushing whatever was left of the snow off of his hand.

“I finished. You should come inside soon, I don’t want you getting sick,” Stanford said softly, watching as Bill stood up with a groan.

“You sound like my dad,” Bill mumbled, before laughing. _[Laughter went well as a side dish to lies. Lies and laughter, Bill’s favourite meal. William preferred laughter and kindness, but William’s opinions didn’t matter anymore. Grow up, William Cipher.]_ Bill walked inside, as Stanford followed.

“So you have parents?” Stanford asked, shutting the door behind him. “You grew up with a family, I’m assuming.”

“I don’t want to talk about my past. You don’t need to know how I came to existence, just be grateful I’m here,” Bill snapped, turning to glare at Stanford as he took his jacket off.

Stanford noticed he may have hit a nerve there, bringing up Bill’s family, so he nodded and dropped the subject. “Fiddleford comes back soon. We should really start to get back to building the portal.”

“You can go do it, but it is way too cold down there for my liking,” Bill replied. “And we need more materials and equipment. You should consider going back to the crash site to get more things.” With that, he left. He went up to the attic to try and relax and clear his mind.

Bill sat in his room, a thousand thoughts rushing through his mind at a million miles. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in and out. He needed to get out of this body for a while, check up on his buddies in the Nightmare Realm. He laid back, trying to detach himself from the body. He then realized that the original owner would then be back in control, and he didn’t want that to happen. He had promised the guy that he’d return the body in one piece when he was done, and in the meantime the guy could go party it up wherever he wanted. Meaning that Bill had no clue where the owner was and if he knew any details about the portal. His mind jumped to the conclusion that he needed to kill this body when he was done with it. With that in mind, Bill sat up and smiled. He had plans on getting away from here soon.

By the time nightfall arrived, and Bill and Stanford had lit a fire in the living room and sat down on the couch next to each other. Bill was watching the fire dance and swirl as Stanford wrote in his journal. Thoughts were swimming around Bill’s mind, and they were beginning to make him feel rather dizzy. He laid his head back and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the feelings in his head and focus on what he was really here for. Wait, what was he here for again? Portal. Gateway, right. Bill needed to remember that Stanford was not someone to get attached to, and that Stanford was simply a pawn in his elaborate game of chess. _[ ~~A pawn he was starting to like a lot.~~ ]_

Bill looked over at Stanford after a few moments, taking in how calm the man looked. He noticed that whatever he threw at Stanford, the scientist would be calm and ready to work on anything. It was a quality Bill really liked about him. “Stanford? You… still want to do the project, right?” He asked, sitting up and looking over at the scientist with a concerned look. “You aren’t just doing this because I’m here so you feel like you have to…?”

“Of course I do. What makes you think I don’t?” Stanford replied, pausing to face Bill for a moment before turning back to write.

“I dunno, you seem…” Bill started to scratch at his arm, a bad habit he had developed whenever he felt nervous. _[He felt sorry for the owner of this body. So many bruises…]_ “Like you’re don’t want to talk to me about ideas or what’s going on inside your head…”

Stanford sighed softly, not looking at Bill as he spoke. “I’m trying to figure out if the person I knew last month is the same person I know now.”

Bill paused, a wave of worry hitting him. Had he been getting too personal? No, no way. “I… Well, as your _Muse_ I find that rather offensive.” He huffed, putting his façade back on and lying. _[Bill “Liar” Cipher. Liar, liar, pants on fire.]_

Stanford opened his mouth to reply, but the phone started to ring and it stopped him from talking. He stood up, placing the journal on the couch and went to answer it. Bill sat back, his eyes wandering around the room. He noticed the journal, and picked it up carefully. He had yet to look through this journal, and he wondered what Stanford wrote about. _[He hoped it was about him.]_ Bill opened up to a random page and started to read through it, feeling his eyelids droop as a wave of tiredness hit him. He forgot that the human body needed sleep. _[Bill tried to stay awake for as long as he could to stop the nightmares.]_ Bill’s eyes closed, and the next thing he knew he was dreaming.

Dreams were weird for Bill. The good dreams rarely came and when they did, they were only ever about one person: Stanford. It was like he had been placed in an alternate timeline where things were okay and everything was mutual. They would be in love and be happy and everything was great. Bill yearned for returned feelings, but they never came. Stanford would never return whatever feelings Bill felt for him and it sucked. Those dreams were the worst type, and Bill found them more frightening than his nightmares.

That was the dream he was having tonight. They were in the shack, bundled up together in bed. The moon passed through the curtain, highlighting Stanford’s face perfectly. Bill felt at peace and calm, looking at his lover and feeling loved. Stanford would smile, the smile he gave to Bill when he did something good, and kissed his forehead. Bill’s heart danced happily to a beat that was new, a beat that matched Stanford. His golden heart beats for Stanford and Stanford only. His brain was giddy with thoughts of the future, seeing them together and happy. The future that never came to be. Stanford gently brushed his thumb over Bill’s cheek, and with each tiny movement Bill’s skin felt electric. He felt warm and loved and happy.

And Bill hated it.

                                                 --

By the time Fiddleford arrived back to Gravity Falls after spending the holidays with his family in California, both Bill and Stanford were ready to get back to work. The worst of the cold days had passed, meaning the lab downstairs wouldn’t be freezing anymore. Fiddleford returned with stories of his family, most of them being about his child. Bill made sure to express his opinion on how much children suck every time the kid was mentioned.

Bill had forgotten that now Fiddleford was back, anything that looked impossible would be questioned, and Bill had to stop himself from answering all of his concerns. Stanford mentioned returning back to Crash Site Omega, Fiddleford happily agreed, saying something about how he was more prepared for the trek up there this time. _[The previous visit made Fiddleford extremely tired. Bill had watched them from the trees. He had eyes everywhere.]_

The trip had been planned for the same day. Stanford and Fiddleford didn’t want to waste any time with work. Bill refused to go along, saying how he had important stuff he needed to deal with regarding the portal. _[He had things to sort out about himself.]_ He was glad when no one questioned him. Things had been going downhill recently for him, and he was feeling out of it and not here. It was odd, and Bill just assumed that that meant his time in the body he had borrowed was nearing the end. _[He also wanted to sort out the stupid sickly feeling he got whenever he thought about Stanford…]_

Goodbyes were said quicker than expected, and the door closed. Bill was now left alone, in a body that wasn’t his and a home where he didn’t belong. He sat on the couch, the sound of the fish tank whirring away beside him. He looked at it, the creature happily swimming around inside of it. Stanford had discovered it in the nearby lake, and was certain that the creature _[an axolotl, was it?]_ didn’t belong in Gravity Falls. So naturally, Stanford kept it. _[How cute. What?]_  It was yet to have a name, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that Bill was told he had to feed it daily, otherwise Stanford would quit the project. _[Bill hoped Stanford was pulling his leg at that. He couldn’t lose Stanford now…]_ He tapped his feet on the ground, a little anxious about… something. Something was off. He could feel it. The creature in the tank looked at Bill, and Bill looked back at it. _[Familiar, he swore he saw that creature in a dream once, talking. Always talking. The frilly guy would never shut up.]_

He looked away from the creature and tried to pinpoint why he felt odd. Maybe it was him? Maybe it was the sickening feeling he was starting to get because he was thinking about Stanford again. Either way, he stood up, his legs feeling shaky and walked into the bathroom. He looked into the mirror, not recognizing his reflection. His eyes, two of them, blinked, and noticed that he was breathing really quickly. He didn’t belong here, in the three dimensional world. He didn’t feel right having eyes and a mouth and a nose and human hands that felt everything. His stupid human body felt pain in everything, his stupid arms covered in scratch marks because he got nervous too often. Stupid, stupid body. He didn’t deserve any of this. _[William Cipher deserved this. He deserved better.]_ He ran his hands that didn’t belong through his hair that wasn’t his. He had never felt like this before with any possession. He felt so… detached.

Was he finally breaking? Maybe he needed to get out of this body. Get out of the house, get out of his head. Why, why did he have to lie about everything? _[ ~~Why couldn’t he be with Stanford? Why was Stanford not here, holding him close and reassuring him that everything was okay? Why the **fuck** did Stanford not love him?~~ ] _

Bill clenched his fists tightly, his nails digging into the skin. He didn’t care anymore. He was alone and lonely and craved affection from Stanford. Fuck.

He screamed. He fell onto his knees, tugging at his hair, wanting and needing to feel like he belonged. God, he wished Stanford was here, he’d know what to do, right? He closed his eyes, trying to work out why they were leaking water. Bill Cipher didn’t cry. _[William Cipher did. Maybe William Cipher wasn’t as dead as he thought?]_ Bill tried to dry his eyes with his sleeve, before realizing his hands were shaking and he wasn’t going to stop crying anytime soon. He had become a fucking mess. _[Over what? Stanford? No way. He didn’t cry over men.]_ He kept crying and crying and crying and why wouldn’t he stop? He screamed again, weakly hitting his head with his stupid human hands and didn’t stop screaming until he felt his throat sting. Screaming helped. Screaming in a language he forgot he knew how to speak. _[Jr dzdb jr dzdb vwxslg vwxslg vwxslg ergb jr dzdb!]_ He fell onto his side, clawing at his face, trying to get out of this stupid _stupid_ body. He could feel his blood rush around his body, through his veins and out of his skin. He felt his heart pound in his chest. Everything felt so real and so human. He hated it.

Bill pushed his sleeves up and scratched at his arms, hoping and begging he could find a way out of this stupid body, even if it was just for a moment. It felt like thousands of ants were crawling up his veins, and crawling out of his mouth. He gagged, and grabbed the toilet seat, throwing up his lunch into it. He had no clue what the _actual fuck_ was going on with his body, and broke down into tears again. _[William Cipher would be proud at how much Bill was crying. But William was dead…]_ He wiped his mouth with his bleeding arm, and tried to calm down. He felt so out of it, so out of his body. It wasn’t his body, he was a stranger in a vessel he called his own. He brushed his hair out of his sweaty face, before hearing the front door open, followed by laughter. Oh no. Why were they back? Bill covered his hand over his mouth, muffling the sobs and the heavy breathing in hopes no one would hear him.

“Bill?” He heard Stanford call out, before the door closed and footsteps echoed through the hallway. “We forgot food—where are you?”

Bill forgot to close the door. He didn’t want to move in case he lost more of his lunch. He leaned over to flush the contents of the toilet away, watching the water swirl around. It made enough noise to let Stanford know he was okay… he hoped. He heard his name again, and saw Stanford walk past the doorway. He stopped, and turned around, seeing Bill sitting on the floor.

“Are you alright?” Stanford asked, walking in and knelt beside Bill. He shook his head quickly, before twisting himself around and throwing himself into Stanford’s arms. He started crying again, and didn’t stop. The tears kept flowing like a waterfall, or some other shitty metaphor that Bill could think of to try and sugar coat how _fucking awful_ he was feeling at that moment. Stanford sat there, mostly in shock because his Muse wasn’t as strong and mighty as Stanford originally thought.

“These… stupid human feelings… Make them go away,” Bill sobbed like a child. He was feeling so childish for crying, and for a brief moment Bill Cipher disappeared and William Cipher took his place. He felt so out of character crying as Bill Cipher. Bill didn’t cry. Bill was strong and arrogant and got his way. Anything Bill didn’t want to deal with, he’d blame it on William. William, stupid, stupid William. Cry baby William.

Bill felt Stanford’s arm wrap around him, and he felt odd. It felt like he was fine, and he was fine with Stanford. But that wasn’t this reality. They weren’t fine, and the feelings weren’t mutual. He buried his face in Stanford’s chest and kept sobbing, talking to himself in another language. He felt even worse than he did before, and he just wanted to go. He wanted to go home.

Bill Cipher, all knowing Muse, liar liar pants on fire, wanted to go home. The place he destroyed.

He held onto Stanford’s sweater tightly, the last of his tears rolling out. He hated crying. Crying was a sign of weakness, and Bill had no weakness. _[ ~~Stanford Pines was his only weakness.]~~ _  He eventually sat back, drying his tears with his sleeves.

“I’m sorry…” Bill said, his voice small and weak and frail and this was _not_ the Bill Cipher Stanford was used to. “I-I need to go away for a while.” _[Stuttering. William, get out of here! Go back to being dead.]_

“Bill, is everything okay? You’ve been acting weird lately and… I’m worried,” Stanford asked, grabbing some tissues for Bill. “You can talk to me. I want to help…”

“Nothing’s okay anymore. Go… Go finish the portal. I need to get away from here,” Bill said, pushing the tissues away and trying to stand up. Stanford stood up with him. Bill saw his reflection in the mirror, and if his throat didn’t sting he would’ve yelled. His hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat, his eyes red and puffy with scratch marks everywhere. Bill rubbed at his left eye, trying to make it less red. His skin was pale, almost green looking. He wanted to empty out his stomach again just by looking at his reflection. _[Ugly body, ugly personality. He deserved this.]_

“Bill, you need to calm down before you make any rushed decisions. Come with me, I’ll get you some water.” Stanford held Bill’s arms to keep him from falling over. “The project is almost done, surely you can stay around a bit longer?” He asked, helping Bill walk out of the bathroom and to the kitchen. Fiddleford was packing up food as they both walked in, and he turned around and widened his eyes at Bill.

“You look like death on a cracker, Bill. Is he alright?” Fiddleford asked Stanford, watching as Bill sat down. Stanford nodded, fetching Bill a glass of water.

“He’s alright. Just a little under the weather,” Stanford replied, handing Bill the water. Bill looked at the glass, before pushing it away.

“Just let me go, Ford. I’m done.” Bill sighed, looking over at Stanford. He felt drained. His voice was croaky and his eyes and face and arms stung. He wanted to leave. “Just finish the portal and... let me do my own thing…”

“You ain’t keepin’ him hostage here, are you?” Fiddleford asked, not exactly wanting to get involved but also not wanting to force Bill to stay here.

“No! No, it’s… complicated…” Stanford said quickly, looking down at Bill. “You can’t leave now! Not at the most crucial part of this! Bill, we need you here…”

“Stanford, you’re smart… You’ve got this,” Bill whispered, holding onto Stanford’s arm tightly. “I trust you.” _[Liar.]_ “Do you trust me?”

Stanford nodded quickly, wanting to do anything to make Bill stay. “Of course I trust you, Bill. I just—”

Bill stood up, the scraping of his chair on the floor cutting Stanford off. “Then you’ve got this.” Bill turned to face Fiddleford. “It… was nice working with you? Stop using that memory erasing gun. It’ll hurt you in the future…” Fiddleford’s face dropped.

Bill looked down at Stanford. Sad, sad Stanford. He felt bad for leaving him, but the effects of the human body were catching up to him and he needed to get out before it was too late. “See you in your dreams, Stanford Pines.” He smiled. And Stanford smiled. And in that moment he thought that things would be okay.

Bill turned around, walking out of the kitchen and out of the house, and never looked back.

 

 

The headline of the _Dreary Lake Gossiper_ published the next day called attention to the dead body found in the woods of Gravity Falls late that previous night. Edward McLaughlin, resident of Dreary Lake, died of suicide after having disappeared from his home in the town over a few months ago. The family were deeply saddened by his disappearance, yet the announced death gave them closure. The funeral was planned for next week. The photo on the front cover showed a man in his mid-twenties, smiling as he skimmed rocks on a lake.

When Stanford read the newspaper from the town over, he recognized the man in the front page photo as the body that Bill Cipher used.

 

Stanford shook his head, and went back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, having an actual breakdown because idk whats in the special edition journal that could make this fic not right to canon: lmao 
> 
> so like,,, if anything doesnt link up with the SE of the journal im just going by dates n stuff from the normal journal (ive been using it constantly to check and make sure everyone was as in character as i can make them lmao)
> 
> and the bit of text in the bit where bill has a breakdown says "go away go away stupid stupid stupid body go away" lmao


	3. The Truth Hurts, But Secrets Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stanley Pines dreams of a friendly triangle in a top hat, telling him that he will never be like his brother.

The forever changing, unsecure setting of the Nightmare Realm was a second home to Bill. After destroying his home dimension _[freak accident, he didn’t like to talk about it…]_ , he took refuge in the unstable void and eventually gained control over it. The place was lawless, yet his many followers obeyed him and only him. The downside? It was nearing its end times, like a star about to go supernova. One day this intergalactic foam between dimensions would combust, killing anyone within its boundaries. It was only a matter of time. Which made Bill panic. He needed this portal to work. He needed the gateway to be successful so he could have some other place to call home before the Nightmare Realm dies out. Everyone was trusting in him to get this ready, and now that he was back… people assumed the worst. Rumour went around that the project had failed and that they were going to die. Some people believed that Bill was lying about even having a friend on the other side.

Bill’s plans were crashing down in front of him. It was scaring him.

The Nightmare Realm welcomed all outcasts and rebels from all over the multiverse, however it was slowly starting to feel too full. Four dimensions were destroyed during Bill’s absence, which wasn’t a good sign. The Nightmare Realm was chaotic and now way too crowded. _[Bill always hated crowded spaces.]_ He had a quick rundown of what happened by two of his most trusted followers (and dare he say friends), Pyronica and Kryptos, before being left alone to ~~sulk~~ think things through.

 

His chess set appeared in front of him, and he rubbed the space under his eye in concentration. He was one pawn down; a bad sign already. He looked over to the white chess pieces, wondering if he could steal a couple of pieces there, and frowned. They had… moved? The board had the same pieces each side, with a few Bill did not recognized. Who was he playing his life against? Stanford? No, it couldn’t be. Stanford wasn’t smart enough to grasp the concept of interdimensional life chess. The girl with the sweater and the boy with the hat were on the opposing side as well as the man in the fez and Stanford. The king piece was… familiar. An axolotl? _[Why did he keep seeing those creatures everywhere? Always talking, never shutting up.]_ He looked at the board, analysing his opponent’s pieces. Stanford, a different Stanford, was one he immediately recognized. A Stanford who looked older, wiser. Fiddleford was there, the Fiddleford Bill saw in the future, and had moved to be next to Bill’s Stanford pawn. The girl with the sweater, the boy with the hat and the man with the fez were also on the opposite side, which confused Bill. Other people that Bill did not recognized were there, and he tried to piece everything together. Did this all mean something?

The queen piece, a woman with seven eyes, suddenly moved. An invalid move. Bill watched as it took his previous pawn, Edward. Huh. That was unfair. Bill made the board disappear, and tried to figure out who the _fuck_ he was playing against. He was so deep in thought he didn’t notice someone had joined him.

“Don’t think too hard, you might burn ‘ya brains out,” a voice said, followed by a laugh. Bill turned around and saw Pyronica, who gave him a smile. “What’s got you all sulky?”

“Ha. Ha. Funny,” Bill replied blandly, narrowing his eye at Pyronica. “You haven’t been messing with my chess set, have you?”

“Pfft, no. No one’s been around this part. Everyone knows to stay clear around here, especially when you’re back,” she explained, leaning against a stray rock that was floating around. “What brought you back so quickly? Y’said you would be at least another few months…”

“Ran into complications, none of your business,” Bill snapped quickly, glaring at her. Pyronica put her hands up in defence, taking a step back. She had known Bill long enough to not get into his personal business.

“Alright… I was just askin’ because people ain’t trusting you much anymore. They saw you’re back and assumed the worst,” she said. Bill rolled his eye.

“I know what I’m doing. I trust Sixer that he’ll keep up his end of the bargain. Nothing is going to go wrong. We’ll be livin’ it up in Dimension 46’\ sooner than you think,” he winked (blinked) and Pyronica laughed.

“I trust ‘ya.” With that, she left.

Bill tried not to think too much about what could go wrong.

 

The portal had been a success, according to Stanford. Bill made sure to visit his dreams frequently, needing updates _[on both the portal and Stanford in general.]_ He also offered to help him out with working through the night. He would possess Stanford and complete piles of equations as Stanford got some well-deserved rest. _[He also had **lot** of fun with Stanford’s body.] _

Today was testing day, and Bill sat patiently, waiting for the tear to open between dimensions. He called over Pyronica and a few others he fully trusted (Kryptos, 8-Ball and Teeth), and waited.

“Uh, so how will we know when it works?” Teeth asked, for the third time in that hour. Everyone (minus Bill) groaned.

“Teeth, shut up and wait, will ‘ya?” Pyronica snapped, slapping the guy. “You’ll see a _huge_ tear in the fabric of space-time, and it’ll look _awesome!_ ”

Teeth nodded, “Uh-huh, I got that, but what will it look like? Like, what colours? Will it make any noise-”

“Teeth, shut the _fuck up_ or I swear I’ll throw you into the abyss!” Bill shouted, growing double in size and towering over Teeth. “Just wait and see, yeesh.” He shrunk back to his normal tie and adjusted the bowtie. “I’ll go check in with Sixer quickly. Dumb human’s probably broken something.”

He turned away, opening up one of his many eyes into the town, more specifically, Stanford’s house. He heard talking, the recognizable southern accent from Fiddleford, followed by Stanford. _[ ~~He had a nice voice~~.] _ Fiddleford was questioning the security of the portal, and Bill wished he still has his body so he could strangle the guy. Questions everything and never shuts up. Stanford reassured him _[good]_ and switched on all of the controls. Bill heard the machine whir as the two scientists grabbed the test dummy.

“Bill! Bill! Look!” Teeth exclaimed, pointing to the small rip that had appeared in front of them. Colours swirled around and static noise could be heard. Bill turned around, and rubbed his hands together. It worked. The dummy flew out of it, and man he wish he could smile. He ignored the yelling coming from the bubble and made his way to the opening. He was so _so close_ to freedom. His hands reached out to pierce through the rip in time-space, before he heard screaming, and Fiddleford appeared.

“WHAT!?” Bill screamed, the ground trembling as he grew in size and glared at Fiddleford. “GET OUT OF HERE YOU FAILURE TO THE SCIENCE COMMUNITY! YOU’RE RUINING MY PLANS!”

The terrified Fiddleford was soon sucked back in through the rip along with the dummy, and Bill shrunk back down to his original size. He turned around to look at his fellow followers, who were staring at him in shock. So the plan did work. Full of pride and smugness, Bill turned back around to enter through the rip, before it grew smaller and smaller until it vanished. What…?

“No… No, no NO! Come back!” Bill exclaimed, grabbing at the space where the tear had once been. “COME BACK! TURN IT BACK ON!” The ground trembled again, and Bill slammed his fists into a nearby rock in anger. Why the _fuck_ did it disappear? He needed to talk with Stanford. With a wave of his hand, every eye hole into Gravity Falls opened, appearing one by one in front of him. He started to scream at the screens, ignoring the protests from his friends. It gave him slight gratification when he saw Stanford starting to freak out. Huh, so he could hear him? Bill laughed loudly, hands on his side. Oh, yes, he was going to have a lot of fun. _[Bill knew the perfect way to stop thinking about Stanford. Make Stanford despise his guts. Make him feel sick for even considering falling in love with him. It was a perfect plan.]_

He couldn’t wait until Stanford fell asleep.

 

Stanford dreamed of a man with one eye, the other hanging loosely out of the socket. Blood poured out of his mouth every time he spoke. A laugh, Bill’s laugh, escaped from the man with one eye. It was bone chilling, and Stanford refused to believe it was Bill. The man spoke in a language Stanford didn’t recognize, and gave him seven letters. **D A R O R W O**. The scene went black and piercing screams of children he had yet to meet filled his mind.

The scene changed quickly, making Stanford feel nauseous. Eyes opened up everywhere, and two children he did not recognize swung from nooses made of their own intestines. Triangles appeared in the sky. Always watching. Stanford couldn’t turn away from the gruesome scene in front of him, and was forced to watch as tarantulas crawled out of their mouths and eyes. The boy had forks and knives stabbed into his arms, and the girl had a smile that was too big for her face. Everything went dark again. A triangle with one eye illuminated Stanford’s mind, the eye staring straight through him. _Trust no one, trust **no one.**_

“You’ll pay for your mistakes with your life, Stanford Pines.”

He woke up in a cold sweat, feeling thousands of eyes watching him. Always watching, never blinking. His home felt cold and he vowed to never sleep again.

 

Days went past and Bill saw no sign of Stanford. No dreams, no mind possessing, nothing. _[It worried Bill. It worried him a lot. He missed Stanford.]_ Bill sat in front of his many eyes inside the house, watching as the connection would become disrupted whenever Stanford took something down or covered something up. As each moment passed, Bill got angrier and sadder. He eventually shut off the screens and sat in his own silence. Pyronica would often sit next to Bill to give him some sort of company, but when he threatened to shove her heels so far up her ass she could taste the expensive materials, she stopped. Bill rarely got mad at her (a soft spot, perhaps?) so she knew something was wrong.

Bill tried to find ways to get back into Stanford mind, yet the scientist seemed to be living off of strong coffee and a lot of avoiding the bedroom. And the living room. And the basement. Stanford rarely left the kitchen or his personal study. And that made Bill furious.

However, one particular snowy day greeted him with joy. Another man _[who looked an awful lot like Stanford, just with a mullet and tired eyes, not from paranoia]_ walked up to the shack, and knocked on the door. Bill zoomed in on the scene, carefully studying the stranger. _[He looked too familiar…]_ He got bored of watching him, and became interested in what Fiddleford had been up too. Apparently he joined a secret society and was slowly starting to lose his mind. Now THAT made Bill happy. He always disliked Fiddleford, so to see his mental state start to deteriorate filled his heart with joy. He paid more attention to watching Fiddleford have a nervous breakdown rather than watching what was going on between Stanford and the stranger. He laughed loudly at Fiddleford using the memory gun again. His attention was soon drawn away to the loud noise of machines whirring and the gigantic _rip_ that was forming in the sky. Oh boy! Someone reopened the portal! Bill flew directly to the tear, rubbing his hands together in excitement. Moments passed by and Stanford Pines fell out of the rift, directly below Bill Cipher.

“LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN, BOYS!” Bill boomed, shining a spotlight down on Stanford. Sheer terror could be seen on the scientist’s face, and Bill laughed. Stanford scrambled to his feet, darting off like a mouse. “SIXER WANTS TO PLAY HIDE AND SEEK? HOW ADORABLE!” His voice echoed throughout the Nightmare Realm, and his henchmen soon gathered up around him. “FIRST ONE TO BRING HIM TO ME GETS THEIR OWN GALAXY!”

He watched as his henchmen ran off in different directions. There were only so many places one could go in the Nightmare Realm, so someone was bound to find him soon. But Bill didn’t like easy games. He wanted Stanford to be terrified of him, and the only way to achieve that was to drag out this game of hide and seek for a while. He sat back and relaxed, wanting to put Sixer through hell and back. This was going to be fun! He would soon have both Pines brothers under his control.

                                 --

Stanley Pines occupied the house that was once his brothers. Bill didn’t have many eyes into the house anymore due to Stanford’s paranoia getting the best of him, but the few that remained helped Bill a lot. He watched Stanley daily, taking note of what things he did and how he acted. Stanley was the complete opposite to Stanford, having little knowledge of science and the universe. This was perfect. He also had a lot of emotional issues stocked up in his mind, which made him _perfect_

He waited patiently until Stanley was asleep, and entered into his dreams. Sure, he mixed things up a bit so it was a neutral dream, one Stanley would normally forget about in the morning. The scene was the beach in Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey, a place Bill remembered seeing in Stanford’s mind. _[Always bringing up Stanford…]_ The sky was red and the sea was still. Stanley Pines sat on a swing set, gently swaying backwards and forwards. Bill Cipher snapped his fingers, and the scene spun around so that Stanley was facing him now.

“Well, if it ain’t the twin that will never succeed!” Bill extended his arm, ruffling Stanley’s hair in a patronizing way. “Finally, we meet!”

Stanley opened his mouth to speak, but Bill had created this dream, and he _didn’t_ want to be interrupted.

“Cat got your tongue?” Bill asked, tilting to the side ever so slightly. The world tilted with him, and he laughed. “Now, Stanley Pines! Stanley, Stanley, Stanley. The unwanted child. The accident. The brother to the man that will change the world. I have a favour I need from you and you _will_ agree, got it?”

Stanley tried to talk again, but he was met with silence. He narrowed his eyes at Bill and shook his head.

“Aw, little Stanley isn’t agreeing? Well how about I CHANGE things up a bit?” With a clap of his hands, Stanley floated off of the ground as the scene changed. Bill had to do a lot of looking and searching for certain bad memories Stanley had. They were now in a cramped motel room, and the walls were closing in. Stanley’s eyes widened as he noticed the room they were in, and he so desperately wanted to talk and bargain with whoever the fuck this triangle was.

“Listen to me, Stanley. You will do as I say or I will have to resort to using scare tactics, and trust be buddy, you don’t want that.” Bill moved closer to Stanley’s face as the walls fell down, and revealed a load of thugs standing outside. Thugs Stanley owed money too. Bill snapped his fingers to enable Stanley to talk, and if he had a mouth he would smile. “Answer me again. Will you hear out my deal and agree? If you say ‘no’ then these boys will tear you to shreds!” He gestured to the thugs holding different kinds of weapons, guns, brass knuckles, baseball bats with nails hammered in.

“Fine! What the _hell_ do you want?” Stanley finally said, and Bill removed them from the scene. They stood back in Glass Shard Beach and something felt off.

“I need you to destroy the portal. The VERY ONE you pushed dear Stanford into, got it?” Bill said. He stuck his hand out, ready for Stanley to agree. He didn’t. Instead, the scene changed, and Bill was now far, far away from Stanley. He was smaller, and very confused. Lucid dreaming was rare whenever Bill entered dreams, and he needed to sort Stanley out.

“I’m not gonna do that. But I know what you’re gonna do, you’re gonna get out of my head,” Stanley demanded. He had no clue who Bill was but he had seen enough weird shit in Stanford’s private study to know not to mess with him.

“Listen here, Stanley–” Bill paused so he could grow in size again, now double the height of Stanley. “You could be so much more than your brother if you just _listen_ to me! You’re destined for greatness, y’know!” _[Contradicting himself, good job Bill.]_ “Just keep the portal shut down for a while and I’ll repay ‘ya when the time comes!” He stuck his hand out for Stanley to shake.

Stanley paused, and considered the offer for a moment. He figured there was a loophole in the deal – a while. How long was a while? However long Stanley wanted it to be. He smirked, shaking Bill’s hand before he could change his mind. Blue flames twisted around his hand, and the deal was sealed.

“I won’t touch the portal for a while, gotcha.” Stanley pulled his hand back and nodded. “I’ll make sure I won’t touch it!”

“Good choice.” Bill clapped his hands once more, vanishing from Stanley Pines’ mind. For the rest of the night, he dreamed of a thousand glowing eyes, following his every move and woke up to a cold and empty house. He could wait a while before opening up the portal. He needed time to study, anyway.

 

Stanley had kept up his end of the deal. He never once went downstairs to the lab, and Bill was proud. He noticed Stanley read an awful lot, and had been reminded of Stanford and his love of weird books. _[He missed Stanford a lot…]_ Rumour had it that Stanford was in Dimension X500-11B, and the eye bats that frequently flew around the Nightmare Realm had gone to check it out. Bill was awaiting reports back, and he hoped that they’d bring Stanford back with them. He had put out posters for Stanford, wanting him to be returned dead or alive _[he hoped for alive.]_ Stanford had also been seen with another wanted criminal, but Bill did not want to get involved with the Galactic Federation. _[Too risky, especially as all of the Nightmare Realm were wanted criminals.]_

\--

Bill’s chess board popped up, and the man with brown hair and a sad smile started to glow blue and buzz loudly. Bill’s attention was drawn to it and he turned around. He was a little confused when it came up, especially as he hadn’t needed to see his life recently. (He was way too busy making sure Stanley was keeping up with his deal, especially as it had been over a few months since he made it.) He looked at the opposing side of the board, and the woman with seven eyes had moved back next to the axolotl creature. Huh. If they could move twice in one turn, so could Bill. Bill picked up the Stanford pawn and squinted, looking at it closely. The clothing had changed, and no longer was Stanford wearing a blue shirt with a sweater vest over it. He was wearing the worn out, beige trench coat, and wore a mask over his mouth and nose. Hm. He placed the pawn back in front of his own piece, the queen, and picked up the glowing pawn. Something nagged at him in the back of his mind, and then he realized he should probably check up on Stanley. Hm. Possession could be helpful, especially as Stanley had redecorated and turned the shack into a shop. _[What a waste. All of Stanford’s hard work, ridiculed for being fake. Ugh, it made Bill so mad!]_

With a snap of his fingers, he entered the mind of Henry Martins, a sad, lonely man who lived in the middle of town. Agoraphobic, a shut in with suicidal tendencies. Too much of a wimp to kill himself, though. Perfect. The guy was desperate, that’s for sure. Desperate meant willing. Willing meant Bill got his own way quicker.

His mind wasn’t as dark and gloomy Bill thought it would be, and with a quick snoop around his memories Bill tried not to laugh at how pathetic this guy was. Tried to kill himself at age 13 due to bad grades, then again at 15 when his girlfriend broke up with him. 20 was also a bad age for him, his grandfather died, and had yet another failed suicide attempt. Bad daddy issues, too. Mother’s an alcoholic and a whore, to put it nicely. Father was an abusive asshole. Bill almost felt sorry for the guy. He left the memories of Henry Martins, and found the guy in a meadow, sitting by a tree and reading. His dream was a lot calmer than Bill expected.

“Heya, pal!” Bill chimed, straightening himself up and watching as Henry’s eyes widened. He closed the book quickly, trying to hide it.

“Who… Who are you?” Henry asked, trying to sound confident. He flinched as Bill spun around him. Bill laughed.

“I’m just a triangle hopin’ to help out a miserable soul like yourself!” Bill said, throwing his arms up in the air before clapping. A single rose materialized out of thin air, and Bill grabbed it, before handing it to Henry. “A gift from one sad being to another! Be careful, the thorns are sharp.”

Henry took the rose carefully, a blush creeping up his neck as he looked at the one eyed triangle. “What’s your name..?” Henry gently touched the thorn, not minding the gentle prick it gave his thumb.

Bill tipped his hat. “Bill Cipher! And I’m here to help you out. Seems to me that you’re stuck in a bit of a pickle.” He snapped his fingers, and the rose started to melt, dripping down Henry’s pale skin. Henry gasped, throwing the stem down on the ground.

“You… want to help me? Like some sort of…” Henry’s eyes looked Bill up and down, “triangle therapist? No thank you. I… I’m perfectly fine.”

“Buddy, you’ve been real down in the dumps lately, and I feel you! Humans suck, right? (Henry nodded.) And I want to help you get away from life for a while. So!” Bill clapped his hands. “You down for some casual possession? I’ll look after your body for a while and you get to experience the taste of death! It’s like a free trial, no hidden costs or anythin’! Once I’m done I’ll hand you back your body, or we can make other arrangements.”

Henry raised an eyebrow at the offer and looked at his hands. “I… I’m not sure. I-I’ve been doing just fine recently! M-My meds came in and I’ve been fine…”

“Fine? Then why aren’t you taking your meds?” Bill swooped down to face Henry. His eyes widened. Oh no. “Smart kid like yourself should be out there, doing great things! You’re talented, Henry! Got lots of potential, as well! Reminds me of a friend I once had! With my help, I’ll keep your body up and running as well as doing my own business I need to do. We got a deal?”

Henry blushed at the sudden compliments and for a split second, he trusted Bill. “O-Okay then… I’ll… take you up on your offer.”

“Good choice, kiddo,” Bill said, moving backwards and sticking his hand out for Henry to shake. Blue flames sparked from his hand, and Henry hesitated. He took a deep breath before grabbing Bill’s hand and shaking it. Bill tightened his grip on Henry’s hand as he yanked out the soul of Henry to claim the body.

 

He was forced to wake up in a dimly lit room. Papers were scattered everywhere, and empty cans of cheap, store brand named beer littered the floor. Man, this kid was a mess. Bill scratched his head as he sat up, and blinked. One, two. Yes, two eyes again. He stretched his hands outwards and grinned. He clenched and unclenched his fists, getting used to the sensation of having a body again. _[Hopefully he won’t kill this one…]_

Bill stood up, his knees wobbling as he made his way over to the closet in the room. Clothes were piled out of it in an unorganized mess. No wonder this guy was so depressed, his home was like a landfill. He picked out a simple white shirt and black jeans, not liking how tight the jeans were. _[He would give anything for it to be acceptable to walk around pant less.]_ He decided to pretend he was a tourist, stopping to The Murder Hut for a quick look around. There he would try and befriend Stanley and learn all his secrets! Or he would pretend to be friends with Stanford Pines back in college, and finally worked up the courage to visit him! Something along those lines sounded realistic. He quickly faked a letter in Stanford’s handwriting, shoving it in his pockets. This plan was going to be a breeze. He quickly packed a bag full of clothes, just to add to the lie to make it look more realistic. There. Done.

Once he was ready, he made his way out of the house. The place was located in the middle of town, an area Bill didn’t recognize. He blinked, one eye after the other and tried to figure out how to get to ~~Stanford’s house~~ The Murder Hut. Houses and odd looking shops lined the streets, and Bill felt so out of place standing there. He took a deep breath to refill his lungs with much needed fresh air, before walking west.

The forest was spotted ahead, and Bill sighed in relief. He was worried he went the wrong way or got lost. Bill walked through the woods, trying to get into character. His name was William Martins _[he really didn’t want to keep all of Henry’s name, and Bill was too obvious…]_ Henry was 25, so William was 25. Henry was unemployed, barely scraping by, William was the same. The only difference was that William went to college with Stanford Pines, became best friends but was too scared to ever come visit him. It was only when he got a letter needing help with the portal he considered visiting. But whoops, he’s three months too late because he was too scared to leave the house! The plan was fool proof. Bill spotted the shack and took another deep breath. He made his way to the gift shop door, losing his balance for a brief moment as he stepped weirdly. He opened the door to the gift shop, and wanted to scream.

What used to be Stanford’s study was now a poor excuse for a gift shop, with gifts and badly created taxidermy lining the shelves. Behind the counter was Stanley Pines, pro con-artist and someone Bill despised at the moment. Stanley was talking to a customer about a price on a bumper sticker, and the lady happily agreed to give up forty dollars in exchanged for a “limited edition, totally not gonna resell these later” bumper sticker.  Once the lady left with an empty wallet, Bill walked up to the counter.

“What can I getcha? Hat? Snowglobe? Bobblehead?” Stanley asked, holding up various ~~overpriced~~ items. Bill shook his head.

“Uh, does Stanford Pines live here?” Bill asked, a little hesitant. _[In character. He was really good at acting. The real Bill Cipher would’ve broken the door down in a fit of anger…]_

Stanley laughed, and pointed to himself. “He’s standing right here, kiddo! Mr Mystery himself! Why, you want an autograph or somethin’? That’ll be five bucks.”

“Uh, well…” Bill didn’t really know what to say. “I think I got the wrong place… I don’t think you’re who I’m looking for.” He pulled out the fake letter, checking the address.

“If you’re looking for directions, the town’s that way,” Stanley said, pointing out of the door.

“No, this is 618 Gopher Road, right?” Bill asked, showing Stanley the address written on the letter. Stanley read through the letter and his eyes widened. He looked up to see how many people were in the store, and noticed there were a few. He handed the letter back.

“Uh, go wait through there, there’s some things I gotta tell ‘ya if you were a friend of… mine,” Stanley said, pointed at the ‘Employees Only’ door, and Bill nodded. He took the letter and walked through the doors.

Bill was shocked to see that most of the furniture remained the same, and he waited in the hallway for Stanley to return. It didn’t take long, and he briefly closed up shop whilst he left. The next tour wasn’t for another fifteen minutes, so he had time to spare.

“I don’t think you are Stanford. I remember Stanford having a little… little thing on his chin,” Bill pointed to his own chin, and then to his hair. “And his hair was different.”

“Shh, keep it down. Look, you were obviously good friends with Ford but you’re three months too late. He’s gone and he ain’t coming back anytime soon,” Stanley said, and Bill’s eyes widened.

“He’s… dead?!” Bill covered his hand with his mouth and took a step back.

“No! No way, he’s not dead. I hope not. So, uh, how much do you know about this… portal stuff?” Stanley asked, already fully trusting Bill. _[What a fool!]_

“I know a fair amount. Stanford would call me up about it… Who are you, exactly? Because you aren’t Stanford, that’s for sure,” Bill said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Stanley… Stanley Pines.”

“Huh. Twins? Stanford never said he had a twin,” Bill said, knowing it would hit a nerve. “Anyway, where is he now? I’d like to talk to him if that’s okay.” _[Keeping up with the façade was proving difficult. He just wanted to check on the portal and make sure Stanley hadn’t touched it.]_

“Ford is, uh… busy. Yeah, suuuper busy. You know how scientists are,” Stanley lied, and Bill tilted his head to the side and held out the letter.

“Doesn’t sound busy. I’d really like to see the portal he is working on. I’m excited to see how it works,” Bill said, hearing Stanley groaned.

“Look, the letter is three months old. Stuff happened and Ford ain’t here anymore!” Stanley exclaimed, smacking the letter out of Bill’s hand. “Look, William—Sorry, I read through the letter, you can come see the portal if you really insist but it doesn’t work anymore. Ford isn’t around to fix it and I’m sure as hell not smart enough to do it.”

“Fix it? Is it broken? I can try and fix it!” Bill grinned, crouching down to pick up the letter.

“Uh, I don’t think you can… Ford had plans and I don’t have all the copies of the plans, so it’s pointless,” Stanley said, deciding to lead Bill to the basement to show him the portal. It couldn’t hurt right?

 

Stanley was right. William had explained to him many ways of getting it up and running again, and he was quick to suggest that maybe William should stay over and help him out a bit. It was a long shot, but Stanley trusted William way too quickly and would do anything to get Stanford back.

Which lead them to start to develop a small friendship. Late nights were spent teaching Stan the basics to engineering and physics. Days were filled with running The Murder Hut (later known as the Mystery Shack) together. Progress was slow and often went well with a can of beer and a game of poker or two. Bill couldn’t help but feel slightly attached to Stanley.

It was late one summer night, way too hot to sleep and Stan and Bill sat on the couch, watching shitty infomercials on a cheap TV Stan had managed to get his hands on. They ate ice cream, drank really shitty beer and were accompanied by each other.

“I used to do all these crappy things. The key is to put emphasis on random words, and boom, people call in,” Stan said, pointing at the TV with his spoon.

“Hah! People are so dumb.” Bill scooped out the last of the cherry ice cream he had and laid back on the couch. He yawned, feeling his eyes droop a little.

“Hey, don’t fall asleep on me. Y’still gotta go over that one page I didn’t get,” Stanley said, nudging Bill awake.

Bill apologized quickly and nodded, leaving the room to go grab the textbook needed. He made a quick detour through the kitchen to get more ice cream. Memories of when he and Stanford lived here came flooding in, and Bill dropped the ice cream onto the floor. _[Man, he missed Stanford…]_ He remembered how it used to feel whenever Stanford was near, and how his heart beat quickened and how he got all nervous and blushed and—

He slammed the freezer door shut, pushing those memories far back into his mind. He heard Stanley ask if he was okay, and for a moment Bill thought it was Stanford asking. His hands began to shake a little as he felt overwhelmed with emotions, and he picked up the ice cream tub. He called back, saying he was fine, before walking back into the living room. He sat down on the couch (that looked disgusting, Stanley had thrown out the old couch) and sighed.

“You want more ice cream?” Bill asked, offering the tub to Stanley, who shrugged and placed it between them. “Also you ready to learn, too?”

“Ugh, fine. Hit me.” Stanley listened as Bill read through the book, explaining things that sounded too complicated to him. It took a while, but eventually they both got bored. It had turned 2am, and both were too tired and too wasted to even consider talking about science. They both sat there, the TV still running in the background, filling the room with useless talking.

“Y’know, I haven’t had a friend in a long time,” Stanley said, words falling out of his mouth. Bill knew he wasn’t thinking about his speech. “You’re a good friend, William. I relate to ‘ya _” [Lies. Lies, lies, lies. William Cipher could never be a good friend. Too emotional, too much of a cry baby.]_

“Hah, yeah right! You don’t know the half of me,” Bill said, gently whacking Stan’s arm with a laugh. “Did you know I burned down my home? Bet you didn’t.”

“Now I do. I got kicked out at seventeen. Sucked a lot but hey! Here I am! Makin’ money!” Stanley raised his beer can to that, and Bill copied him.

“Here’s to fucked up kids who made it out alright!” Bill exclaimed, and they both finished off their drinks. Bill laughed as he threw the can to the ground, and leaned his head on Stan’s shoulder. “Life would be better if parents weren’t jerks.”

Stan nodded, not even caring that Bill was in his personal space. He was too far gone to care about that. Bill closed his eyes, feeling like he was back with Stanford, and sighed. He felt Stan’s head gently rest atop of his, and he almost felt bad for betraying Stan in the future.

Maybe if he stopped trying to be someone he wasn’t, things would be better… He wish he knew who he would be in the future. He longed for a sense of belonging.

 

Stanley Pines dreams of a friendly triangle in a top hat, telling him that he will never be like his brother. He gets told to trust no one as the friendly triangle turned into a being of rotten flesh. His mother’s corpse fell on top of him and he screamed, watching the worms wriggle about in her eye sockets. She reaches out to grab him. He wakes up with an uneasy feeling that William Martins is not who he said he was.

 

Bill had figured out the perfect way of destroying the portal, and it involved a lot of dynamite. It came to him in the dream the night before, and he was ready to make it reality. As Stan opened up, Bill told him he would be back soon. Stan trusted him that Bill would return. _[Trust no one, Stanley Pines! Not even William Cipher!]_ He had collected some dynamite from somewhere he’d rather not disclose, and was now stacking it around the metal framework of the gateway. It meant giving up his plans for world domination, but there were other timelines where he got his way. He took a step back to admire his hard work, and grabbed the boxes of matches. He pulled out a match, shutting the box back and tilting it, ready to strike.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Stanley yelled, and Bill spun around to look at him. “Who… WHAT? William, step away from there and don’t strike that match!”

Bill grinned, a grin that did not fit his face. “Oh, Stanley! I thought we had a deal? No progress on the portal. Looks like someone _failed_ to keep up their end of the bargain!”

“You…. YOU!” Stanley pointed to William, storming over and knocking the matches out of Bill’s hands. “You liar! You just want to destroy any chances of getting my brother back, don’t you?! I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you…”

Bill laughed, and laughed and laughed. He kept laughing even when Stanley punched him in the face. Even when he was on the floor, he kept laughing. “You’re so foolish! You believe the tiniest piece of flattery and trust people too quickly!” Another punch. _[He deserved that.]_

“And you’re a backstabbing asshole who only does things to benefit himself!” Stanley retorted, swinging his arm but missing Bill.

“I’ve been called worse, but sure!” Bill pushed himself off of the ground and glared at Stanley. “Now, let’s be civil here. Let’s talk it out! I hate your brother’s guts and want to do many things to him when he’s finally captured, and you _don’t really_ want your brother back, do you?”

“Of course I do!” Stanley said. He opened his mouth to carry on talking before Bill spoke again.

“No you don’t. You get Ford back you have to say goodbye to your business. You’ll be homeless again. You don’t want that, do you?” Bill smiled. Stanley unclenched his fists, and Bill thought he had won.

“Get the hell out of my house.”

… What?

“I said, get the hell out of my house! I know _exactly_ who you are!”

No you don’t. Not even Bill knows who he was and who he will become.

Another punch was delivered, and Bill felt his world go black. Fuck.

 

 

He woke up back in the Nightmare Realm, and noticed that he had probably been out for several days. Pyronica stood over him, and slapped him.

“You’re a real wise guy, Bill! Don’t come back up here passed out and leave us to make up lies as to what happened!” She exclaimed, and Bill rubbed the area where she slapped him.

“Yeesh, indoor voices, Py, thanks,” Bill groaned as he stood up. He adjusted his bowtie. “Look, things are going fine. Any news on Sixer?”

“Last seen him runnin’ away from the Galactic Feds with some other dude. We ain’t getting involved so we let them be. He’s heading for Dimension 0000. We thing. Kryptos kinda planned out where he’s likely to be heading,” she explained, and Bill frowned.

“Keep a watch on him, and tell Kryptos to inform me on Sixer’s plans. We might need to find him sooner than planned.”

 

Bill Cipher was left alone at that. He opened up his chess board, watching as the woman with seven eyes moved again, knocking over the pawn he now recognized as Stanley Pines. Henry’s pawn was then taken.

Bill was losing at his own life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the d a r o r w o can be decoded using the atbash cipher i think? its +3 
> 
> if you dont wanna decode it its 'a x o l o t l'


	4. Leave Me To Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Axolotl was right – Bill wasn’t happy.

In an alternate reality, Bill Cipher and Stanford Pines were in love. A love that was mutual and returned. A love that would never exist in the current timeline.  It was sweet and pure and everything Bill was not. Fiddleford never showed up, never questioned anything. It was only Bill and Stanford. Together, forever.

* * *

 

In another reality, William Cipher was in love with Stanford Pines. This love was unrequited. Stanford Pines felt bad for William Cipher and didn’t want to hurt his feelings and break his poor, blue heart. This love was a lie. A lie that William Cipher didn’t mind living. He would cry later, but for now he would be happy. So happy.

* * *

 

In yet another timeline, Bill never killed his original body. In this timeline he and Stanford Pines were happy. They lay together, intertwined and happy. Bill looked at Stanford with a smile, his heart fluttering as he saw Stanford open his mouth and start to speak.

“Bill, what do you know about the Axolotl?” Stanford Pines asked, gently brushing hair out of Bill’s face. Stanford’s hands started to crumble as soon as they made contact with Bill’s skin. Crumbling away like dry paint. “What do you know about the Axolotl?” He asked again, his face melting off slowly, dripping down like wax from a candle. He asked again and again, his voice becoming distorted with each word. Bill screamed. “Trust _no one, William Cipher. We’re coming for you.”_ A voice that was not Stanford said.

 

His eye snapped open, and it took him a few moment to realize what had just happened. He had… a dream? That… No. Bill didn’t sleep here. Sleeping here was a sign of weakness, and _Bill Cipher had **no** weakness._ He didn’t sleep in the Nightmare Realm in fear of being destroyed. He rubbed his eye, trying to recall what happened in that dream. He didn’t have the faintest idea, so he brushed it off. Nothing important, or else he would’ve remembered it. It was a dream he will never remember happening, but that Bill in the dream will forever be scared and alone and learn to _trust no one._ Panic filled Bill.

Once he heard the familiar groaning of the Nightmare Realm adjusting to the new arrivals, and his panic levels increased. New arrivals meant cramped spaces. It meant it was one step closer to self-destructing. It meant that –Someone cleared their throat, and Bill turned around. Ugh, Kryptos.

“What do _you_ want?” Bill asked, looking Kryptos up and down with a frown. He didn’t know what it was about the guy, but Bill hated Kryptos. _[Maybe it was his angles… Maybe he was secretly jealous that Kryptos had four angles? Four sides, too. Man, what a looker!]_

“Uhh… I’ve been thinkin’-”

Bill snorted, interrupting him. “That can’t be good for you.”

“S-Shut up! Anyway… uh, yeah, thinkin’ that maybe… maybe we don’t have long left here, and so me ‘n Amorphous Shape were thinkin’ that… we should try and find a way outta here? B-Because your plans have failed and—” Kryptos suddenly froze, noticing Bill’s eye twitch at his previous comment.

“ _EXCUSE ME?”_ Bill yelled, growing in size and towering over a now trembling Kryptos. “MY PLANS HAVE **NOT** FAILED. HOW _DARE_ YOU DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT!”

Kryptos nodded, taking a small step back. “Y-Yes, yes, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that at all… What I’m tryna say is that w-we really need to consider relocating soon.”

Bill shrunk back down and considered Kryptos’ concern for a moment, before laughed. He waved his hand, opening up a few views from the Eye Bats in multiple dimensions. “We have so many places yet to conquer, buddio! Dimension 46’\ is only the beginning! Once we get our hands on Sixer we’ll rule the MULTIVERSE!”

“Are you sure? Cus ‘Morphus Shape overheard some guys over on the west side talkin’ about the Axolotl and how he’s gonna defeat you or something,” Kryptos said, his hands fiddling with a rock he had picked up. “Aren’t you worried?”

“Worried? NAH!” _[He was terrified. Who the fuck was this Axolotl fella?]_ “Tell those guys to stop spreading false rumours,” Bill said, closing up the eye holes with another wave of his hand.

“How much do you know about the Axolotl, Bill?” Kryptos asked. The feeling of déjà vu swooped over Bill, and his false persona faltered.

“What…” Bill’s eye widened a little. It was subtle, and he was sure Kryptos didn’t notice it.

“The Axolotl… You can defeat him, right?”

“Who…?” Bill blinked once, and then laughed. Forced laughter, nothing unusual here. “HAH! Do you know who I am? I can defeat anyone! _Trust me!_ ” _[He didn’t trust himself. The Axolotl, who…? All knowing eye didn’t know something, how ironic. Or should he say, EYE-ronic! **Shut up** , William Cipher.]_

“All… Alright… Uh, I’ll go tell everyone to not make up rumours…” Kryptos turned around and left. Bill immediately panicked. He closed his eye, searching through endless timelines and endless universes, making sure he didn’t die. He didn’t want to die, not yet. As he kept searching, he came across many timelines that involved him and Stanford. _[To save the heartbreak]_ he skipped through them quickly, refusing to look and feel jealous for alternate timeline Bill. When he came across nothing, he felt… empty. There had to be something about his inevitable death, right?

He swiped his hand across the space in front of him, a chalkboard materializing and he began to write. He wrote in his native language that was now dead, and paired with his incredibly messy handwriting, it was impossible to read if someone started snooping around. Across the top of the board, he wrote the world AXOLOTL, followed by information he knew about the creatures. He remembered that Stanford had one in the shack, and it seemed to follow him about wherever he went. A spy? Maybe. Or maybe the Axolotl stood for something? But… what? He tried putting it through different ciphers and translating it into different languages, but nothing was of use. He was left with a board full of gibberish and one very confused triangle.

When an issue came up, no matter what it was, Bill Cipher would work non-stop to find a solution. Bill didn’t know how long it had been since he started working on finding out who the heck this Axolotl fella was. He let go of the chalk piece, watching it float next to him as he re-read through his notes. Nothing added up! He needed to figure out where the Axolotl was and ask why people kept questioning him about him. He was about to open up a portal out of here when he noticed Pyronica standing by the chalkboard, looking concerned. _[Weird. Pyronica’s never like this...]_

“And where do you think you’re going?” She asked, hands on hips and a tone in her voice that reminded Bill of his mother. _[What a sweet person she was. Too bad she’s long gone! Whoops!]_

“Off somewhere. Got some stuff to do, people to meet,” Bill said, frowning at Pyronica. “Why do you care suddenly?”

“It’s been five weeks and no one’s heard a thing from you!” Pyronica exclaimed, peering around the board. “Jeez, what’s all this about?”

“NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!” Bill shouted, making the board disappear with a wave of his hand. “Now, I have someone I need to meet, so if you’ll _excuse_ me…”

“Bill, you gotta talk to everyone. Everyone’s getting worried…” She whispered, her voice soft – a tone Bill rarely heard her use. Normally Pyronica was a loud mouth badass, not a soft spoke woman at all…

“Don’t use that tone on me. Tell everyone to quit worryin’!” He said, before sighing. “Look, we need to locate Sixer, and then we can carry on with the plan, okay?”

“But that’s the thing, Bill. You’re relying on him! People are sayin’ you ain’t gonna fulfil your promise when we do get him back… They’re worried that you’re too obsessed,” Pyronica explained, taking a cautious step forward. “They need _you_ to tell them to stop worrying…”

“I’m busy. I can’t babysit everyone and pat them on the back, saying everything will be okay! They need to trust me and wait!” Bill said, crossing his arms. They both went quiet, before Pyronica sighed.

“Bill… What do you know about the Axolotl?” She asked, and Bill took a step back. Not again…

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” He had a bad feeling whenever the Axolotl was mentioned, and Pyronica simply shrugged.

“I’ve been hearin’ the name all over the place, and assumed you’d know,” she said. “I… try not to overwork yourself. You’re our only hope out of this hell hole.”

“I know.”

Pyronica gave Bill a small smile, before leaving him alone. With a sigh, Bill tried to locate where the Axolotl could be. So many of his notes lead him to the time and space between time and space, so he was going to go there.

Bill was confident about travelling through the multiverse, as he had done it so many times before, but travelling to where he hoped the Axolotl lived was rather difficult. He had been teleported to many, _many_ wrong places, before finally getting to his intended destination.

He was floating in a space that was full of bright colours, and what sounded like bubbles everywhere. Bill had to squint to stop himself from getting blinded. This sure beats the dark and eeriness that the Nightmare Realm had. Once Bill’s vision had been adjusted to the brightness of this place, he noticed smaller details. Clouds lined the place, all in different pastel shades. Bubbles were everywhere, too, popping and reappearing wherever Bill looked. He felt rather out of place in a peaceful setting like this. There, in the middle of a giant, white cloud, floated an axolotl, minding his own business. It looked exactly like the opposing king Bill plays against in his chest game life. The Axolotl turned around, noticing Bill, and smiled.

“We meet at last, Bill Cipher.”

Déjà vu filled Bill again, the voice sounding so very familiar. _[Why did he sound familiar?]_ Bill looked up at the creature, feeling small and powerless. “Who are you and why are you so keen on ruining my life?”

“I haven’t ruined your life at all.” The Axolotl said, his voice echoing across the world. “You’re to blame for that.”

“Hey, uh, rude? And I haven’t done ANYTHING to ruin my life!” Bill said, arms crossed and if he could, he would pout. “Listen here, buddy, I don’t know what you’re playing at but I don’t appreciate your name being thrown about and scarin’ my pals.”

The Axolotl tilted his head to the side in confusion. “You’re ruining your own life, Bill Cipher.”

“Stop saying that.” It was then Bill realized his powers were useless in this place. “What’s your deal? Why do I keep seeing you everywhere?”

“For an all-knowing entity you aren’t that all-knowing,” the Axolotl replied, a small smile making its way across his face. “You’ll find out in due time. I’m here to help.”

“Then what’s the deal with the seven eyed woman on my chess set?” Bill was getting impatient, and he needed a straight answer.

“She’s also helping.” The Axolotl smiled. “Is that all you want to know?”

Bill looked up at the creature, and narrowed his eyes. “Stanford Pines. Where is he?”

“He’s in a forest, surrounded by people who worship him,” the Axolotl said. Bill groaned. “Was that not specific enough for you? You’ll find him sooner than you think. Thirty years pass by quickly when you’re running from the law – you should know.”

Bill went to reply, but he was suddenly transported back to… to home? Lines, lines and points everywhere. A mighty blue flame engulfed the lines and points. Screams were heard, and Bill didn’t want to be here anymore. He closed his eye, the screams of his family and friends haunting his mind. When he opened them again, he was floating back in front of the Axolotl.

“You’re a wanted man, Bill Cipher. With my help, you could restart. Restart your life, become a better person. The person William would be if he were alive today,” the Axolotl said, and Bill laughed.

“Yeah right. I’m not doing that. You’re no help to me and this was stupid. Everything’s stupid, how dare you force me to relive that moment!” Bill’s voice got louder as he spoke. “Just who do you think YOU ARE, rummaging through MY MIND LIKE THAT, HUH?”

“This could be your chance to live through a different reality. A different form, a different time,” the Axolotl said, his voice (somehow) calming Bill down. “Invoke my name and we can agree on the terms of your new life.”

“No. This is my life and I happen to like it,” Bill snapped. “Everyone loves me. I’m the best I could ever be.”

“But are you happy?” The Axolotl blinked, watching Bill as a wave of emotions hit him at once. Is he happy…? _[No, no you aren’t Bill. Take the chance! Be happy with Stanford! ~~Be quiet, William~~.]_

He was forced through another memory of his homeland. His parents, saying how he wasn’t crazy for having wild and unrealistic dreams. “Aim a bit lower, sweetheart. Maybe one day you can take over your father’s store!” His mother had said. “I could teach you to become a good salesman, son,” his father added. _But I want to rule the world! I can do it, I can be the first triangle to rule!_ He got a pat on the side from them both, before sent to bed. As he sat in his room, he noticed a large blob growing in size, before disappearing. William looked confused, before seeing the growing and disappearing blob again. He called for his parents, but the blob never returned. “You’re tired, go to sleep.” His mother said.

Bill squeezed his eye shut, both in rage and sadness. How _dare_ this frilly guy make him relive his child hood. “STOP IT!” He yelled, his voice not having the same effect as he couldn’t grow in size or send a wave of anger to the Axolotl.

“Are you happy, William Cipher?” The Axolotl asked again, and Bill left. He left the time and space between time and space, and vowed to never _ever_ return there. He rubbed the space above his eye, feeling comfort when he saw the dark colours of the Nightmare Realm.

He was happy. He was very happy. He had a whole dimension under his control, and soon he’ll have another! Stanley will open the portal again, unleashing pure hell! He couldn’t be happier. He needed to torment some people to get rid of the feeling of sadness. He was suddenly filled with happiness when he saw that Sixer was asleep. He may be far away, but he could still haunt his dreams.

 

Stanford Pines dreamed of Earth. The smells of the forest, the heat of a fire, and another body. Bill recognized it as Edward’s body. Maybe… Maybe he could take control of this, play things out the right way – the way Bill always wanted. He took control of the body, and laid his head on Stanford’s shoulder. Stanford flinched, before relaxing.

“The portal should be completed soon,” Stanford said, looking down at Bill.

“No… Let’s wait a while before we finish it,” Bill replied, holding Stanford’s hand. Six fingers met five, and Bill smiled. A genuine smile.

“Are you sure?” Stanford asked, looking down at their hands and smiled as well. “If you’re sure there’s no rush.” A blush spreads itself across Stanford’s cheeks, and Bill felt giddy inside. He wished this was reality.

“There’s no rush at all,” Bill whispered, glancing down at Stanford’s lips for a moment before meeting his eyes. “Let’s take a break.” Bill’s cheeks are also red. They match, how cute.

Stanford moved to sit upright, to get a better look at Bill. He gently moved a hand under Bill’s chin, tilting his head upwards slightly. Bill smiled again. The space between them closed slowly, and Bill wanted to scream from happiness. Their lips met. Soft and happy. They were the missing pieces to the puzzle Bill didn’t know he was doing. Time moved even slower as Bill closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, he is back in the Nightmare Realm, alone and cold and _unhappy._ He was unhappy. So very unhappy. Stanford Pines held the key to his happiness, but Stanford Pines was a man who held grudges, as it seemed. The key would never meet the lock on Bill’s heart. He was going to spend all his life unhappy. The Axolotl was right – Bill wasn’t happy.

 

 

Stanford Pines runs as fast as he can from the All Seeing Eye, but he cannot run in his dreams. His feet are cemented down and he is helpless. He dreams of better times, and the dream he woke up from felt so real… So sincere. Maybe he needed to hunt down someone sooner than he thought. Destroying the things he loved was never Stanford’s intentions, but recently it’s what he has been doing. He would need to get used to this in order to survive Bill’s sick, sick game.

 

 

In an alternate reality, Bill Cipher destroys himself before Stanley Pines destroys him. _[Spoiler alert!]_ He destroys himself before meeting Stanford Pines, the man who would one day change the world. _[Not in this reality, buddy! ~~Seriously, shut up, William Cipher.]~~_

In the final reality Bill looked at, William Cipher was in control, leading the Nightmare Realm. Stanford – a Stanford that looked meaner, a Stanford you couldn’t trust, summons him, asking for help in a sweet voice that is untrustworthy. William Cipher agrees, and is trapped by Stanford’s side for the rest of eternity.

 

_William Cipher, we’re after you. Better watch out, someone might stab you in the back!_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeek sorry its a short one! it made more sense to leave this part as its own chapter as the next chapter is p much merging with canon events :)
> 
> and hi if u ever wanna talk or smth im happy to!! my tumblr is bill-rehpic so like if u wanna hang or even talk abt this fic im open!! i have so much stuff planned n aaaa!!!   
> anyway i hope u liked this chapter, and the next one is gon be a wild one ;)


	5. You've Got A Second Chance, You Could Go Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had missed his chance to get Stanford and go through to a new world.
> 
> _[Good job, Bill Cipher! Now you’re going to be unhappy forever and ever and ever and ever and you’ll die alone! HAHAHAHA!]_

 

Bill was beginning to panic. And when he panics, he overreacts. In the past few weeks, he created a place for him to hideout and over analyse everything. A small pyramid, decked out to the nines. He needed to live out in luxury, and just seeing odd trinkets calmed him down. _[The jar of bones he once collected was in the center of a shelf, surrounded by candles that reminded him of Stanford.]_ He paced the room, arms folded behind his back and a frown on his face. Who was coming after him? That question was on his mind a lot, and he was almost sure there was a spy in his henchmen. But who? Who would do such a thing? WHY would they DARE disrespect him? In a fit of anger, Bill burnt down a plush couch that sat in the corner of the room. The thing was ugly anyway, and it made him feel calmer… somehow.

“Knock, knock, lemme in, Bill,” came a voice from outside, a voice Bill didn’t know he could trust. Any doubts were pushed away. Pyronica would _never_ backstab him. They had known each other the longest, and Bill fully trusted Pyronica. Before he could reply, she walked inside. “Yeesh, this is just sad. Why you coopin’ yourself in here? Come party it up with us outside!”

Bill turned around, a puzzled look on his face. “Who’s most likely to betray us, Py?” He asked quickly, pointing a finger at her. “My bets are on Kryptos, he’s… he’s never been trustworthy. Stupid four sider…”

Pyronica’s eye widened, and she walked over to Bill. She grabbed his arm, before slapping his face. “Snap out of it. Y’sound like Teeth after eatin’ four bowls of plasma goo, or whatever that stinky stuff is.”

If it had been anyone else who had slapped him, Bill would have burned them alive. But it was Pyronica, and she had slapped him many times before. _[Sign of trust. Bill trusted Pyronica. They had been together the longest and he **trusted** her.] _He rubbed the area where she slapped, and frowned.

“Why are you actin’ so weird, Bill…? It’s like we… I don’t even know you anymore,” she said, gently nudging him. “Ever since you came back from your spontaneous trip you’ve been… weirder than normal.”

“Yeah, well, stuff happened,” Bill said, gently rubbing his side where she nudged him. “Where’s Sixer? Do we know?”

Pyronica shook her head. “Keyhole said someone saw him in the do-over dimension. The posters have been helpin’ a lot. Also, what stuff has happened? You’ve been saying that a lot recently.”

“Listen, Py, just let me do my thing, okay? I don’t need you getting in my business,” Bill said as he turned his back to her. The chess board opened up, and Bill noticed the woman with seven eyes had moved again. She was next to his Stanford pawn, and Ford was smiling. _[Cute.]_ Wait. If they were together, does that mean they were together _in real life?_ Bill picked up the seven eyed woman piece, and turned around to Pyronica. “Do you know who this is?” He demanded, and Pyronica’s eye widened in shocked.

“Uh… Yeah, she lives near that one second dimension world… what was the name..?” She tapped her finger against her chin in thought. Bill moved closer to her, shoving the chess piece into her face.

“What’s her name?” Bill asked, and Pyronica hesitated to tell him. Part of her knew she should tell Bill, she should tell him everything, but the other part told her that maybe life would be easier if she wasn’t caught up in Bill’s bullshit drama of a life.

“Jheselbraum the Unswerving…” she spoke after a few moments of silence. “She’s some kind of oracle… She, uh, I met her once after the fall of my own dimension…”

“Huh, am I finally unlocking the dark and mysterious backstory of Pyronica?” Bill asked with a laugh, looking down at the chess piece. _[Why was she talking to Ford…?]_ “An oracle, you say?”

“Yeah, she helped me ‘n stuff when I had nowhere else to go. Also predicted some stuff that hasn’t come true yet, so I’m callin’ bullshit on her,” Pyronica said, crossing her arm over her chest. “Why do you ask?”

“She’s on my chess board. And she’s talkin’ to Sixer. Should I be worried? I feel like I should be worried. What are they talking about? I need to find out. I’m going to find out,” Bill spoke quickly, turning around to get a portal out of here. Pyronica quickly grabbed his arm.

“With Sixer there? He’ll kill you on the spot! You need to wait until he leaves,” Pyronica said quietly. Bill pulled his arm away from her grip and sighed. Well, she was right.

“Fine. I won’t go,” he mumbled, putting the piece back on the chessboard in the wrong spot. He watched as the piece glided back next to Ford. Huh. Pyronica walked over to the chessboard, trying to see who she recognized.

“You got Frills on there? Boy, you’re in for some bad luck,” she laughed, pointing to the Axolotl. “You met him yet? He’s supposed to be a real asshole.”

“He’s a jerk. I think I might go revisit him. Got some things I need to know,” he said, waving his hand as a portal opened up. “Keep everyone calm, ‘kay? Don’t need anyone panicking when I’m gone again.” Before he could get a reply, he walked through the portal to the time and space between time and space. His eye adjusted to the brightness of this place, and Bill groaned. His powers didn’t work around here, so he was stuck walking everywhere.

“HEY! FRILLS! WHERE ARE YOU?” Bill shouted, looking around for the creature. “I GOTTA QUESTION AND YOU NEED TO ANSWER IT!”

The Axolotl appeared in front of him and smiled. “What can I help you with, Bill Cipher?”

“Who the _fuck_ is Jheselbraum and why is she messing with Sixer?” Bill asked, placing his hands on his hips and frowning up at him.

“Jheselbraum is helping,” the Axolotl said, tilting his head to the side as he looked down at Bill. “She is helping lots of people.”

“You said that LAST time!” Bill snapped, getting rather annoyed at how unhelpful the Axolotl was being.

“Would you like to hear a poem, Bill?” The Axolotl asked, his eyes beginning to glow. Bill had no chance to reply before the creature started to speak.

_“Sixty degrees that come in threes._

_Watches from within birch trees._

_Saw his own dimension burn._

_Misses home and can’t return._

_Says he’s happy. He’s a liar._

_Blame the arson for the fire._

_If he wants to shirk the blame,_

_He’ll have to invoke my name._

_One way to absolve his crime._

_A different form, a different time.”_

The Axolotl looked down at Bill, who had a look of confusion on his face. “Do you know who that’s about?”

“No clue. And I don’t care, it sucked,” Bill said, looking down at his hands with a bored expression on his face. “You suck for help, y’know that? I don’t get why people are so scared of you.”

“It was about you.”

Bill looked up at the Axolotl, before laughing loudly. He fell onto his back, clutching his stomach as he kept laughing. _[Ha. Ha. Ha. It’s not that funny, Bill.]_ “That’s HILARIOUS! I’m flattered you would write a poem about ME!”

The Axolotl blinked, and shook his head slowly. “You aren’t understanding me, Cipher. Perhaps we should talk when you’re ready to listen,” he said, waving his arm and Bill disappeared.

He returned back to the Nightmare Realm, remembering nothing but the weird poem the Axolotl told him. He closed up the portal, and saw Pyronica sitting in a chair, examining her nails.

“We gotta take a trip back to that good nail salon,” she said, boredom filling her voice. “Also you were gone for, like, two weeks? What took you so long?”

“I was gone for five minutes, Py, what are you on about?” Bill asked, frowning at his friend.

“Two weeks, Bill. You missed a lotta stuff. Sixer was seen with Jheselbraum still, we lost a few eyebats, and, uh, you aren’t gonna like this next bit…” She stood up, walking over to Bill. “Rumours are goin’ around that Frills is setting up some sort of army… There’s people in this place that are undercover for him…”

“WHAT?!” Bill shouted, the room shaking slightly. “WHO ARE THEY? GO AND FIND THEM!”

“Bill, calm down, we don’t know who they are. They could be anyone. Teeth’s been saying he saw some shady people around the east side,” she said, watching as Bill burned a picture frame behind him.

“FIND THEM! DESTROY THEM! HOW _DARE_ YOU LET THIS PLACE TURN TO SHIT WHILST I WAS GONE! IF I DIDN’T LIKE YOU I WOULD THROW YOU INTO THE ABYSS AND LET YOU _ROT TO DEATH._ FIND THE ASSHOLES, BRING THEM TO ME!” Bill screamed, towering over a now terrified Pyronica. She nodded meekly, before rushing out of the room and outside. Bill shrunk back to his normal size, finishing his tantrum. It then dawned on him that he had been gone for _two weeks._ He didn’t understand how that was possible – he was only there for a few moments? How…?

It hurt Bill’s mind trying to think about it, and he eventually laid on the floor with a loud groan. His mind began to wander and he was soon caught up in his own head, thinking about Stanford.  He missed Stanford. He missed Stanford a lot. He wished he didn’t kill his body, he wished he was with Stanford. Oh gods, why wasn’t he with Stanford? Everything would’ve been fine if he just… changed. If he changed he would be okay. He would be fine, he wouldn’t be a wanted man, running from so many governments. Why couldn’t he be okay?

Bill’s mind felt heavy, full of these stupid rhetorical questions. He kept thinking of Stanford, and Stanford only. He missed him _so so so much._ He squeezed his eyes shut, and when he opened them he was in the mind of Stanford Pines.

Well, his dreams.

Bill liked dreams the most. He could manipulate them into any way possible. He could give terrifying nightmares or blissful dreams to whoever he wanted. For Stanford, he gave him the best dreams he could think of.

Happier times happen in Stanford’s dreams, all thanks to Bill.

Happier times Bill wished were real.

 

 

When the day came that Bill could no longer enter Stanford’s mind, he threw a wild temper tantrum. He was burning up innocent dimensions that were nearby, even torturing creatures that entered the Nightmare Realm. His henchmen simply watched him, unable to help anyone who faced Bill Cipher’s tantrum. It took four weeks to get him to be calmer, and even then some of his closest henchmen were destroyed.

Bill sat in the pyramid he had created, looking at his chess set. The Stanford pawn he had felt lighter. His eyes were red and his mouth was crossed out, and in the place where his heart would be was a black eye. Huh. Bill’s grip tightened on the piece, before it crumbled away into ash in his hand. His eye widened as he frantically grabbed at the ash falling down to the board. His pawn of Stanley soon fell apart, and Bill slammed his fists onto the board. He watched as his pawn of Fiddleford soon broke into tiny pieces. _[Took him long enough!]_ What was going on with his chess set? Ugh. Bill turned around, leaving the pyramid and decided to pay a visit to his closest friends.

Teeth, 8-Ball and Xanthar were sitting around a table, playing a game of interdimensional poker. Pyronica was annoying Kryptos with Hectorgon, and a few other people Bill knew and trusted were tormenting a newcomer to this place. Everyone was close by and Bill was glad. He still needed to sort out the issue with the Axolotl, and if he did have an army then that would be bad. _Real_ bad. He needed to find a new place to go to where the Frilly guy wouldn’t find him. Which made him think about the portal. Surely Stanley would try to open it to get his dear brother back. That would be the perfect time to enter through and take over that dimension! …As long as Stanley didn’t change the co-ordinates. That wouldn’t be good. Bill adjusted his bowtie as he was brought back to reality, before seeing a portal open up and _a very familiar person_ fall out at his feet. _OH BOY!_

Stanford Pines was back for more, and he even had a big boy gun to pretend to be a badass sci-fi nerd! “HEY SIXER! LONG TIME NO _SEE!”_ He yelled, shining a spotlight down on the man. He looked a lot older, and boy Bill was glad to see his favourite human again. “GUESS WHO DROPPED BACK IN FOR A CHAT! THIS GUY!” Bill caught the attention of his henchmen, as Stanford stood up and started to run. “DON’T LET ME DOWN, GUYS! WHOEVER GETS HIM THIS TIME GETS THREE GALAXIES!”

Bill laughed as his friends ran after Stanford, who… didn’t look as afraid as he once did however long ago it was. He grew in size, materialized some space-popcorn and watched the game. He was about to eat his first handful of space-popcorn before Stanford stopped running and pulled out his nerdy sci-fi gun, aimed it at the creature with three hundred eyes, and pulled the trigger. The creature (Bill forgot his name… whoops) disintegrated right in front of his eye. In a fit of rage, Bill threw his space-popcorn and watched as his henchmen back up away from Stanford, a few even running in the opposite direction. _Fools._ Bill only had seconds to think until Stanford would eventually come and try and kill him, so he went to the one place he knew best: his pyramid.

Inside there was a room he had been working on that would give even the smartest of people a headache trying to figure out how it works. He called it the _“Quadrangle of Qonfusion.”_ A maze of confusing and near impossible puzzles, and only he knew how to get around it. He watched as Stanford soon came running inside, skidding to a halt as he took in what was inside. Bill laughed loudly, moving up to a higher place to get a good view of the room. He had a good plan, and any second now his henchmen would return and he would finally capture Stanford! He laughed again, looking down at Stanford. His eye widened ever so slightly as Stanford jumped towards him, gun in hand and an angry look on his face. Bill (if he had a mouth) grinned when he saw his henchmen run inside. Stanford would soon be his!

Until the ground started to shake again, and the familiar sound of the portal was heard. Bill made another eye for him materialize to where the sound was coming from, and he was ready to grab Stanford as well. _[Grab Stanford and never let him go! Make him your second in command! He’ll be yours and only yours!]_ The portal had been opened again, and Bill was more concerned about making sure he got through there. He yelled commands to his henchmen to get through the portal, and only realized too late that Stanford had gone past and was headed towards the open portal. Bill growled, chasing after him, arms and arms stretched out and he made a grab for him. He grabbed at…

Nothing.

The rip between worlds was closed again. Stanford was nowhere to be seen. Gravity went wild for a split second before everything returned back to normal.

He had missed his chance to get Stanford and go through to a new world.

_[Good job, Bill Cipher! Now you’re going to be unhappy forever and ever and ever and ever and you’ll die alone! HAHAHAHA!]_

 

 

He had been incredibly angry ever since the _“Incident We Do Not Talk About”_ happened, and he had tried everything to get out of this place. He was moping around the pyramid for the bleventeenth time that week, when Pyronica walked in. She sighed when she saw Bill sulking in the corner, and tapped him on the shoulder.

“I have a thing to show ‘ya,” she said, a hand on her hip and the other outstretched to help Bill stand up. “It’s pretty important, and I think you could use a little cheerin’ up, too.”

Bill groaned dramatically, before taking Pyronica’s hand and pulling himself up. He brushed off any dust from himself, and let Pyronica lead the way. She took him outside to where the portal had opened up days ago. She pointed down to a tiny tear that was on the ground. Bill crouched down to get a better look.

“I dunno what it is, but it’s been there for a while and hasn’t gone, so I thought you should know about it,” she said, watching Bill inspect the tear. He managed to pick it up, watching it swirl and morph about in his hands.

“It looks like the remains of the portal. Maybe there’s more on the other side!” Bill exclaimed, looking up at Pyronica, who simply shrugged.

“Hopefully. I want out of this hellhole, it’s starting to stink from all the outsiders who take refuge here,” she said.

“Get Xanthar to stomp on a few people. Especially if they look odd. Don’t want any of Frills’ people here. I’m gonna see if I can mess around with Sixer’s dreams. Try and work out what’s going on over there,” Bill said, standing up. He made a jar appear, before putting the… thing inside of it. He turned around and started to walk back to the pyramid, deciding to first pay a visit to the Axolotl, and then Stanford’s dreams. He had to remember that time went by differently in the time and space between time and space, and he didn’t want to be there for too long, just in case. He took the jar with him and left.

He was beginning to get used to the brightness of the place, as well as how _annoying_ the Axolotl would be. He cleared his throat when he got there, spotting the Axolotl immediately.

“What’s this?” Bill asked, holding up the jar high enough for the Axolotl to see. The creature tilted his head to the side.

“That is a jar,” the Axolotl said, a hint of laughter in his voice. “A fancy jar, if I may say.”

Bill’s eye widened as he looked at the jar, seeing that the thing was gone. “NO! No, there was this thing in here and I think it was a by-product of the portal reopening? Where did it GO?” He opened up the jar, tipping it upside down in hopes that it would somehow reappear.

“You mean this?” The Axolotl waved a bubble over with a picture of the same swirly galaxy Bill once had, trapped in a snow globe like object.  

“YES! Yes, that! What is it?” Bill asked, looking at the bubble, then at the Axolotl.

“Like you said, a by-product of the portal. Unfortunately it seems like you don’t have it anymore. It must’ve leaked through to the place on the other side,” the Axolotl informed, watching as Bill groaned loudly. “Why are you so intent on getting into that dimension?”

“Excuse me?” Bill crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not sharing my personal business with a dumb salamander like _you._ ”

“Is it what you really want? You’ve already destroyed countless dimensions, isn’t this enough?” The Axolotl asked, and Bill rolled his eye in disinterest.

“I don’t like how you know so much about me. It’s kinda creepy, and I’m not here to answer your questions!” Bill said. He turned to leave.

“I’m not here to answer your questions either, Cipher.” The Axolotl said, causing Bill to stop walking.

“You aren’t? Then why are you here?”

Bill frowned at that, and turned around, fists clenched. “Because… Because… you keep popping up in my life and it’s getting _real_ annoying, buddy!”

“It’s not my fault. You chose this timeline, this outcome, and you’ll face the consequences,” the Axolotl said, watching as Bill groaned and walk away again. “Do you remember the poem I told you? Keep it in your mind. You might need it sooner than you think.”

 

Bill was back in the Nightmare Realm, and now was the time to visit Stanford’s dreams and see where that by-product went.

Of course Stanford would have it. OF COURSE! How could he be so stupid! Stanford had the rift and the rift was the one thing he needs to get the apocalypse up and running! He was going to be a busy man for the next few weeks, and he was ready to bring his reign onto Dimension 46’\\.

 

 ------

 

_“AXOLOTL, MY TIME HAS COME TO BURN, I INVOKE THE ANCIENT POWER THAT I MAY RETURN!” –––– Bill Cipher’s last words._

White light. Distant talking. A thought from a man Bill once knew. _Goodbye, Bill Cipher. You piece of shit._ Hatred would continue to fill the man’s mind until Bill disappeared and couldn’t read his mind anymore.

_[Huh, so this was what dying felt like. Oddly calmingAAAAH no, not calming at all!]_ Thousands and thousands of needles pricked him all over his body, stabbing and poking and he felt liquid drain out of him. He felt like a balloon being deflated, and he did _not_ want to be flat again. Fire crawled up his body, burning every last piece of him. _[Eternal pain was NOT fun!]_  Fire, fire everywhere. The blue flames that initially killed him surrounded his body, covering and spreading over him like melted butter. It lasted for so long, constant, agonizing pain. Everything hurt and ached and Bill kept screaming, begging for this to stop. He hated it. _[He deserved this pain. He deserved all of this. Should’ve changed your ways before you fucked everything up. That’s all you’ll ever be, Bill Cipher. A giant fuck up.]_

Darkness surrounded his non-existent body. Static ran up his arms that were no longer real and his feet tingled. His eye was shut, always has been, always will be. His eye into the worlds was no longer available. He felt weightless; he felt dead. He was dead.

Bill Cipher was so very dead.

So then why did he still feel alive? Why could he feel the numbness of his eye and the racing of his thoughts? He was dead, he _shouldn’t_ be conscious! _[Unless someone wanted to keep him alive… but who would want that? Bill sucks. He’s a jerk. LET HIM DIE!!!!]_

Who would want him alive still…?

**_One way to absolve his crime._ **

**_A different form, a different time._ **

He had heard that before. The voice sounded familiar, too. Huh. A piercing white light filled the space he was in, and for the first time in… a while, he opened his eye.

The familiarity of the space he was now in reassured him in a way that made him feel at home, and he didn’t know if this was a dream or if he was actually alive again. He looked down, seeing his tiny black hands and tiny legs. He made sure to wiggle them all, satisfied that he was alive again. He turned around, noticing the fluffy pink clouds and multi-coloured bubbles everywhere. It filled him with déjà vu, and he was sure he had seen this place before. He walked around, noticing that he couldn’t float around anymore. Odd… He pushed clouds away, walking through bubbles and flinching as they popped on his edges.

_“Bill Cipher.”_

Bill turned around quickly, searching for the voice. It sounded familiar, and one by one things started to add up in his mind. Ah, shit. The Axolotl. He forgot that he panicked and asked for the Axolotl’s help as he was dying. Fuuuck.

“Invoking my name? Risky move. What if I don’t want to help you?” The Axolotl said with a chuckle. “After all you’ve done for me, why should I help you out?”

Bill didn’t reply. He looked away, finding interest in a bubble floating past him. The bubble changed into a scene from the world Bill once tried to destroy. A statue of his former self was planted in the ground, overgrown grass surrounding it and moss covering the stone. Cracks were beginning to form in odd places, and it hurt Bill’s heart to see it. _[What heart? You’re a heartless monster…]_

“You _obviously_ will never return back as that form, at least in not this timeline,” the Axolotl said, and Bill looked down at his hands, the bubble disappearing. _Obviously._ “So, if you’re really wanting my help, I have a few ideas for you.”

Bill looked up at the creature, and nodded quickly. “Tell me.” He wanted to go back to his friends, be back to normal. He missed everyone. What were they up to? Did they miss him? He hoped so. _[They aren’t missing you. You sucked. Shut up.]_

The Axolotl waved his left front leg, and two portals appeared. The right one was a pastel blue, swirling around counter-clockwise. The left one was a forest green colour, swirling and mixing into other colours. Bill was confused.

“Two choices.” The Axolotl pointed to the right portal as it opened. An aerial view of a dimension that looked too similar to Bill’s home dimension was seen, and Bill was quick to shake his head. “This is your homeland in the past, before you destroyed it. You have a chance to redeem yourself, choose a different life. Reinvent yourself. William Cipher 2.0.” The left portal opened up, and a sign saying _“Welcome to Gravity Falls!”_ was seen. “Your second option: forgiveness.”

“No. To both of them. No way am I going to be treated like SCUM OF THE EARTH again! I don’t want either!” Bill shouted, stomping his foot on the ground. “Let me float in nothingness. That’s better.”

“You asked for my help, and now you’re rejecting it?” The Axolotl asked, a hint of anger in his voice. “ _Do not test me, Cipher. **Choose your fate.**_ ”

Bill looked up at the creature, stared at him, before he replied. “No.”

The ground began to shake and Bill was certain that he had pissed off the Axolotl. The clouds turned a deep red colour, and every bubble Bill could see popped, the droplets stinging his body. With a sigh, he looked at both of his options, considering the pros and cons. “Fine. I’ll choose one,” he said after a while, and everything stopped moving. In a matter of nanoseconds, the scenery changed back to normal.

Bill considered both options. He also had a third option, and that was run far, far away and never look back. He might use that one later. Now, he _could_ restart his life, go back home. Change up everything. He could be with his parents again, his family, his old friends. He could live a normal life, this time he wouldn’t accidentally be the face of a revolution. He could be happy. He could be two-dimensional again…

Forgiveness didn’t sound any better. Living in Gravity Falls, face to face with humiliation. Not to mention he didn’t know when in time he would be there. He would live the rest of his life, stuck in a dead town with nothing to do… _[But Stanford would be there! Nice, warm Stanford who makes you happy!]_

Home or forgiveness… _[Sadness or happiness…]_

He closed his eye, walking through his chosen outcome. _[Huh… Didn’t expect that choice.]_

 

He woke up in a familiar setting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> such a cliffhanger :o
> 
> i think we all know what option bill took tbh,,, ;)
> 
> i hope everyones enjoying this fic!! basically this chapter was a mix of canon events as well as non-canon events, i just kinda skipped over everything because we all know what happens between bill visiting fords dream to bills death.


	6. Forgiveness... Can You Imagine?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I don’t belong here, Stanford.” Bill’s voice wobbled, and he suddenly felt so out of place._

Sunlight shone through the trees, illuminating spots of grass. The light was soft, as early evening approached. Light crept across a body of someone that didn’t belong in this world. Leaves fell off of trees and landed on the body, causing him to awake. He opened his eyes, two of them, blinking them one by one. Birds flew above him, going from one tree to the other. He smiled. His hands clenched into fists, grabbing strands of grass that poked at him. He pushed himself to sit up slowly, taking in his surroundings. Trees were everywhere. It was warm and he liked the warmth. He held his hands out, seeing ten fingers. Ten _human_ fingers. Wiggling each of them on their own, he smiled a little. He heard the sound of running water and looked in the direction of the sound. A clear blue river was flowing beside him.

He scooted over to the river, dipping two of his ten human fingers into the cool liquid. He laughed as the surface of the water broke, and he gently poked at the sand at the bottom. It moved with ease, and it felt rather rough and squishy. He moved quickly to sit on his knees, and leaned over to look in the water. He saw his reflection, and he got a good look at his appearance. Curly, unnaturally blond hair sat on top of his head, and he ran a hand through it slowly. It was soft, and nice to feel. His skin was dark, and he moved his hand from his hair to his cheek. His skin felt smooth as well, and he liked how it felt. He moved his fingers to his mouth, pulling the corner of his lips apart to see his teeth. He ran his tongue over his top set of teeth, and then the bottom, and laughed at how silly he looked in his reflection. And then he got to his eyes. Two of them. Two eyes in a body that didn’t feel like he needed two eyes. He placed two fingers under his eyes, and dragged them down. Two normal eyes for a normal person, right? _[Something felt off…]_ He tried to touch his left eye, but his body instantly made him close his eyes. _[Two eyes didn’t belong.]_

He sat up, placing his hands on his knees and frowned. This place felt familiar, and he wasn’t too sure where he had seen this place before. He smiled when he saw a rabbit hop nearby him to take a drink out of the river. With a small smile, he copied the rabbit. He leaned down, stuck out his tongue and let it touch the water. He flinched back when it felt too cold, and sighed. Maybe that was the wrong way to drink the water? Maybe the rabbit was tricking him, and the water was not for drinking. He pushed himself away from the shore of the lake, and noticed a weird feeling in his chest.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Weird. He placed a hand against his chest, feeling the _thump thump thumping_ of his… his… his heart! He smiled when he figured out the name, before freezing.

Panic settled in next door to his feeling of déjà vu, and he suddenly felt like _he didn’t belong here._ His breathing quickened, and his thumping heart increased its pace. _[Why did he have a heart? WHERE was he?]_ He held his breath, hoping that would stop him from over breathing or something… He kept holding his breath, even when his lungs burned. Even when his head started pounding. Even when his mind told him to breathe, _breathe or you’ll die you idiot!_ His vision started to go blurry and he squeezed his eyes shut. He felt himself fall back. His world went quiet.

 

When he finally opened his eyes again, the sky was orange, the sun was low. It was cooler, and birds had flown back to the nest to get ready for night time. He was careful when he sat up this time, making sure not to freak out again. He felt the grass poke against his hands, a weird feeling he wasn’t sure he liked. With a deep breath, he looked around, using both eyes to try and figure out if he knew whereabouts he was in this forest. The river was still by his side, but the rabbit had gone…Once he gave up, he pushed himself up to his feet, wobbling around as he tried to gain his balance. He leaned against a tree for help, feeling the roughness of the bark against his arm. A hand gently ran down the tree trunk, his fingers dipping in and out of the nooks and crannies of the tree bark. It was a weird feeling, but it felt nicer than the grass. He moved his hand up slowly, and grabbed onto the lowest branch he could. With a groan, he pulled himself up. He reached up, grabbing the next branch, and then the next. And then he was high up in the tree, the sun shining on his face.

The sky was filled with beautiful purples and oranges and pinks, and the clouds were fluffy and soft. The sun was almost at the horizon, and Bill watched as it sunk lower and lower and—

Snap.

The branch he had been sitting on gave way underneath him, and Bill fell. He wasn’t that high up, but it felt like he was falling forever. He stuck his arm out to stop himself from being hurt when he landed.

Bill landed on his stomach, his right arm squished underneath him. His cheek was pressed up against the spiky grass, and he groaned. His knees landed on the roots of the tree and they felt rather sore. He pushed himself to sit up with his other arm and yelped in pain. His arm hurt- a lot. He grabbed at it, trying to find the exact point where it hurt, however it seemed to be that his whole lower arm stung with pain. Ugh. Great! His knees looked kinda red, and he noticed that there were some small cuts there. Gross. He wished he had longer pants on instead of shorts.

He frown when he heard his stomach make a funny noise, and he looked down at it. He pulled up the shirt he was wearing and poked at his stomach. It made the noise again and he frowned. Huh. Weird. Was he… hungry? He didn’t know. He _did_ know that he was really tired. And his arm hurt badly.

As the sky grew darker, his body felt tired and heavy. He sat back down, leaning against a tree. It was getting colder and he wished he had something warmer on. He closed his eyes, pulling his knees to his chest and was careful not to move his arm too much. He drifted off to sleep and was met with nothingness.

_“You aren’t doing a very good job at being human.”_ A voice echoed throughout Bill’s mind.

Who said that? A creature that was both familiar and unfamiliar popped into his dreams, causing the scene to change into fluffy clouds and pastel skies.  

_“Bill. You need to try to get help.”_

So his name was Bill. Huh. That helped some more. Bill. He liked that name. It suited him. Bill was a good name. He just needed a last name, and he would be all set!

“Who are you?” Bill asked, looking up at the familiar yet unfamiliar creature.

_“A friend. I’m here to help you for a while.”_

“You’re a giant, talking salamander! How can _you_ help me?” He looked the creature up and down in confusion.

_“An axolotl,”_ the creature corrected, before showing Bill a small bubble. There was an old train cart converted into a diner. Four people walked in, and the bubble burst. _“You need to find this place. Someone will help you there.”_

“Why?” Bill tilted head to the side. The Axolotl smiled.

_“Someone you care about will help you in there.”_

He woke up.

 

The sky was lighter when he awoke, and he looked around in confusion. His arm was beginning to really hurt by now, and he had a nice collection of bruises on it. He looked up at the same tree that made him fall and cursed at it.

He stood up with a groan, hearing his back crack as he stretched his arm out. He had no idea what time it was, nor what day it was, either. He decided that he should maybe go find that place the Axolotl told him about.

 

The bell of the diner dinged, signalling that someone had walked in. Bill stood in the doorway, looking up at the small bell for a moment. He heard laughter, and looked over at the table it was coming from. A group of teens were laughing at _him_ , and part of Bill felt the overwhelming urge to turn them into stone. _[What a weird thought. Yet it felt like it had happened before. Huh.]_ Bill walked inside, making his way to sit up next to the counter. Everything was loud and chaotic in this place, and it smelled strongly of coffee. Someone was supposed to help him here, but no one seemed to be willing to help. A lady with blue hair walked over to him from behind the counter, holding a coffee pot. She smiled.

“Well, hello there stranger! You don’t look like you’re from around here! You want a mug of coffee?” She asked, and Bill looked in his pockets to check if he had any money. To his surprise, there was about thirty dollars crumpled up in his left pocket. _[Huh. Hadn’t noticed that before.]_ He watched as another lady carried a plate of pancakes to a table.

“How much are those?” Bill asked, turning back to face the blue haired lady.

“Four ninety seven!” She smiled, pouring him a mug of coffee anyway. “Do you want some?”

Bill nodded, putting down a ten dollar bill to pay for it. “Yes… uh, please.”

The lady smiled, taking Bill’s money. “Coffee’s on the house for a handsome stranger like y’self!” She pushed the mug of coffee towards him and walked off.

Bill took this time to see who was in the diner that looked like they could help him. The group of teenagers who laughed at him probably weren’t going to help him. There was an elderly couple eating waffles, but they looked on the verge of death and probably weren’t able to help him, either. A few important looking people were in the far corner, but Bill felt intimidated by them and didn’t want to stare too long. A family was seated in the middle, by the window. They looked familiar to Bill, but he didn’t recognize any of them from what little memories he had. There were two teenagers who looked alike _[twins, maybe?]_ and they were sitting opposite two older men, who also looked alike. _[Again, twins?]_ Bill frowned a little at the family. _[Why did they seem so familiar?]_ He quickly realized he had been staring, and saw that one of the men was looking at him, a look of confusion on his face. Bill quickly turned around and paid attention to his mug of coffee. He lifted it up, and had the sudden urge to pour it into his eyes. He _knew_ that that was stupid, and definitely not how humans drink their drinks. Luckily, the waitress came back over with a cheerful smile, and handed Bill his pancakes and his change before he could try it.

“Here you go! Enjoy!” She said with a wink… well, blink. Bill wasn’t really sure if she was winking. One of her eyes were closed, and the thought of having one eye made Bill all fuzzy inside. He just smiled at her, and began to eat. The pancakes weren’t _that_ bad. They were fluffy and warm and they filled up a rather empty hole Bill had in his stomach. He hadn’t tried the coffee yet, not wanting to embarrass himself.

The feeling of him being watched kept creeping up in his mind, and whenever he turned around he noticed the same man looking at him. Bill wasn’t sure if he was creeped out by it or uncomfortable, but he was ready to leave.

_“He’s the one to help you.”_ The voice of the Axolotl spoke, somehow in Bill’s mind.

“He’s creeping me out…” Bill whispered, shoving a forkful of pancakes into his mouth. “I don’t think he’s gonna help.”

_“People can hear you talking to yourself, you know,”_ the Axolotl said, and Bill turned his attention to the group of teenagers who were giggling and talking about him. He looked back at his plate of half eaten pancakes and sighed.

“I don’t care… Who even is that man? Why does he keep staring at me?” Bill asked quietly, pushing a small piece of butter around on his plate.

_“He remembers you.”_

Bill’s eyes widened a little, and he dropped his fork onto his plate. Remembers…?

_“You were a bad person, Bill. I’m shocked you haven’t learnt everything about yourself already.”_ The Axolotl laughed. _“Don’t look now, but he’s coming to sit next to you.”_

Bill turned around and sure enough, the man was standing there. He looked confused. He also looked like he knew something that Bill didn’t know about himself. Bill turned back to his pancakes, pretending to ignore the man. He wasn’t up for talking, especially with someone who looked like _that._

“Can I help you?” Bill asked, irritated that the man hadn’t left already. “’Cus I want to eat my food without having some creep stare at me.” He heard the man gasp softly, and Bill groaned. He heard the teens on the other table giggle again, before they mocked how high and… weird his voice sounded. He shot them a glare, and a few of them were quiet.

He turned back around in his chair and got a good look at the man. He looked…familiar. Too familiar. The man started to speak, but his voice was eventually drowned out by a loud, sharp ringing noise. Cogs turned in his brain, and he couldn’t hear what the man was talking about. A flood of memories came back, all including that man. That man… _Stanford Pines! [He looks real good for his age…]_ Bill fell out of his chair, holding his head and squeezing his eyes shut. Stanford… _[Stanford, Stanford, Sixer… Oh how he longed to be back in the past with Stanford. Pathetic.]_

“Are you alright?” The ringing was starting to fade. Bill looked up and noticed Stanford was helping him to his feet. He pulled his bad arm back when Stanford held it, and looked up at him. Bill didn’t know what to. Was this some sick game the Axolotl had? ~~Forcing him to reunite with the man he once cared so deeply about?~~ Bill felt his hands start to shake, and the only thing he wanted to do was hug Stanford.

So he did.

He wrapped his arms tightly around the man (as much as it pained him to move his right arm, he didn’t care.) Bill’s eyes began to water and he started to sob uncontrollably, mumbling apology after apology.

“Yikes, Sixer. You’ve already made him cry!” A voice was heard, followed by loud laughter. A few more voices were heard, but Bill didn’t pay attention to them. He paid attention to how Stanford didn’t hug him back, but push him away. He paid attention to how Stanford probably didn’t remember him at all. _[But the Axolotl said he did…]_

“Are you sure you’re alright…?” Stanford asked, a little hesitant. Bill nodded quickly, wiping his tears away with his shirt.

“Sorry I… I just… You look like someone I know,” Bill said quietly, turning around to sit back at the counter. He drank some more of the coffee and sighed. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Stanford had sat beside him.

“That’s the same reason I came over to talk to you. You sound like someone I once knew,” Stanford said as Bill shoved a piece of pancake in his mouth. Part of him didn’t want Stanford to know about him. The other part wanted to crawl back into Stanford’s arms and apologize and tell him to kill him again. _[Stanford killed him? When did that happen? He never killed him. Maybe he did. Maybe he did kill him after he shut down the portal… oh no, he hoped that didn’t happen.]_

“Must be a pretty cool person,” Bill said with a small laugh, feeling his insides warm up when he also heard Stanford laugh.

“He was… odd. He had a weird thing for triangles,” Stanford said, and Bill’s eye twitched. _[Triangles… Triangles. With one eye. Bowtie. All-Seeing Eye.]_ Bill held his head again, groaning in pain.

_“I told you he remembers you. And you’re starting to catch on, too.”_ The Axolotl said, chuckling softly. “ _Bill Cipher. Or William Cipher if you want to be traditional. Remember anything else?”_

“What’s your name?” Stanford asked, noticing Bill had zoned out a little. “I overheard Susan say that you were new in town, and my niece wouldn’t stop bugging me to get your name for her.”

Bill looked over at the family, and saw the girl wave over at Bill.

“I’m… William? Or Bill. I don’t know- I mean I _do_ know, I just don’t know which one is right. Bill Cipher? I think. That’s what he told me anyway,” Bill said quickly, looking back at Stanford. He noticed Stanford had leaned back a little, almost… afraid?  

“Excuse me for a second, Bill.” Stanford walked back to the table with the family, said something Bill couldn’t hear, and they all turned to look at him.

“Did I do something wrong?” Bill whispered to the Axolotl, hoping he was there and could hear him.

_“You’ve done many things wrong, and the Pines family seem to be worried that you’re back,”_ the Axolotl said softly, and Bill sighed.

“Well now what do I do?” Bill asked, turning back around to finish eating his pancakes. “I don’t think they’re going to like me if they’re concerned that I’m back…”

_“Forgiveness.”_

Stanford walked back over to Bill, placing a hand on his shoulder and speaking in a low voice. “I have no idea if this is a joke or if you’re exactly who you say you are, but I think it’s best if you come with me.” 

Bill turned around and frowned at Stanford, and before he could argue he was being dragged away by Stanford.

“Hey—No, this is unfair! I didn’t even get to finish my pancakes! And also ow? You’re hurting my already hurt arm,” Bill said, as the two left the diner. “Isn’t this technically kidnapping? I don’t even know your name!”

“You know who I am, Bill. Don’t be stupid,” Stanford said, ignoring the part about Bill’s (probably) broken arm.

“You’re right, I do know who you are. But I don’t understand why you’re mad at me! He didn’t tell me why you’re mad!” Bill exclaimed, having to walk twice as fast as Stanford to avoid being left behind or falling over.

“See? There was no point in lying. And I expect you to not lie to me when I ask you _how_ you got here,” Stanford warned, and Bill rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know how I got here, okay? Can- Can you please let me go? You’re _really_ hurting my arm,” Bill whined, tugging his arm out of Stanford’s grip. “I fell out of a tree earlier.”

Stanford looked back at Bill, sighed, and kept on walking. Bill would turn around every now and then, and saw that they were being followed by three people. He would quicken his pace, feeling slightly uncomfortable whenever he saw those three people follow him. _[Run! Run! They’re after you! They’re going to **kill** you!!!]_                                                                                  

The familiarity of the shack that was close by filled Bill up with nostalgia, but when he noticed that it didn’t look like how he remembered it. A huge sign that read “MYSTERY HACK” was on the top of the roof. The “S” that Bill assumed was supposed to be before the “HACK” had fallen off, and looked like it was going to slide off the roof at any moment. He was quick to walk inside when Stanford opened the door.

“What are you doing back here, Cipher?” Stanford snapped, slamming the door closed behind him. “ _Why_ are you back? You should be dead! Don’t make me kill you again…”

“Don’t ask me! I just woke up here. I got told you’d help me and I- You want me dead? Wait, what?! What universe am I in…? Oh, wait, uh, memory loss. Sorry. I’m not all caught up on what’s happened in the past,” Bill said, glaring at Stanford. He clenched his fists, just in case something happened. “I’ll be out of your hair when I regain all my memories back and work out how to leave.”

“You bet- wait, regain your memories?” Stanford took a step back. “How… I’m confused. Firstly, how are you here? And how did you know who I was without me even telling you?”

“There’s this voice in my head that tells me things. He said you remembered me and you looked familiar,” Bill explained, calming down a little. “And he also said that I haven’t unlocked all my memories or somethin’ like that.”

Stanford frowned in concentration, before grabbing Bill’s arm and leading him through the house. “You and I need to talk.”

He didn’t say anything else as Bill got taken down into Ford’s lab. It made Bill uncomfortable at how quiet Ford was being, but he could sense that Ford was thinking about… something. He also took this time to notice that either Ford was really tall or this body was really short. He hoped it wasn’t the latter.

By the time they had arrived down in Ford’s lab, Bill was hungry again. He had no more chips left, and he didn’t bring any other food with him.

“Sit up there,” Ford said, pointing to the table by the wall. Bill nodded, making his way to the table. He sat up on it, swinging his legs back and forth out of boredom.

“Are you gonna cut me open or something?” Bill asked, watching Ford walk around the room, collecting things. “At least buy me dinner first before you try and get into my insides, yeesh.”

“I’m not going to cut you up. I just want to run a few tests,” Ford said, placing everything he needed beside Bill. He opened up a book. “Can you tell me how much you remember?”

Bill looked around the room, trying to waste as much time as he could. He tilted his head to the side once he looked over at one part of the room. “Where did the portal go?”

Ford sighed, writing something down. “It was destroyed ages ago. I dismantled it and stored everything away.”

“Why?” Bill turned back to look at Ford.

“Because… things happened. I take it you don’t remember what happened,” Ford mumbled, adding extra notes to his previous statement written in the book. He flinched when Bill laughed loudly.

“I’m just messing with you! I remember that! You shut the portal down ‘cus Fiddlesticks got paranoid!” Bill said with a grin. “Anything after that is fuzzy in my mind.”

Ford nodded, placing the book down on the table and grabbing a small flashlight. He moved Bill’s head to look at him, shining the light into his eyes.

“Huh…” Ford checked both eyes, noticing that Bill’s pupils turned into slits whenever the light was shined into his eyes. “Are you one hundred percent human or…?”

“Or what?” Bill pushed the flashlight away from his eyes and blinked. “What else would I be if I wasn’t human?”

“Never mind.” Ford turned the light off, placing it back down on the table. Bill sighed, rubbing his eyes to try and get them back to normal.

“Is there any way you could take out one of my eyes? Two eyes are weird,” Bill said, covering his hand over his left eye. “I don’t like having two eyes…”

“No, Bill, I’m not going to do that,” Stanford said with a sigh. He looked down at Bill’s arm, holding it gently. “You said you fell out of a tree?”

“Uh-huh, it was great fun. I kept falling and falling and falling and then—SPLAT!” Bill grinned up at Ford, who was examining Bill’s arm. He’d press in places that hurt, and Bill would make sure to show his pain… very dramatically.

“Your arm is pretty bad. When did you do this?” Ford asked, walking off for a moment and returning with a first aid kit.

“Yesterday. Uh, can I ask why you’re being so nice to me all of a sudden? You literally said you could kill me earlier, what happened?” Bill asked, watching as Ford took out some things to fix Bill up.

“You’re full of cuts and bruises, not to mention you’ve possibly broken your arm. I’m not leaving you like this,” Ford said, wiping down Bill’s knees with an antiseptic wipe. “I’m not going to do this in the future, so you’re on your own if you hurt yourself again.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Bill hissed a little at the slight stinging. “I don’t understand _why_ you hate me, though. What happened to you basically worshipping me? I like that Ford better than this one.” _[Worship only fuelled your ego. You kinda suck now, I wouldn’t worship you. ~~Who are you, exactly??~~ ] _

“You’ll know when you regain your memories, Bill,” Ford said, putting the wipes down. He put a few Band-Aids on his knees, just to be on the safe side. When he was done he gently lifted up Bill’s bruised arm. “Can you move your fingers at all?”

Bill looked down at his hand, wiggling his fingers ever so slightly. “Am I supposed to be able to do that?”

Ford shrugged. “I think you’ve just bruised your arm. If you can move your fingers like that there’s probably no break. I’ll wrap it up either way. Come with me.” He grabbed some bandages and walked off back towards the elevator. Bill sighed softly, jumping down from the table and followed him. He looked at his arm, then back over to Ford.

“So, are you fixing up my arm or what…?” He asked, getting into the elevator with Ford. “Hey remember that one time we…” _[He doesn’t like you anymore. Don’t bring up any good memories, stupid.]_ “Never mind.”

“I’m going to give you an ice pack to bring out anymore bruising before wrapping up. So you’ll need to just sit still for a little while,” Ford said, ignoring the last part of what Bill said.

“Ice…?” Bill looked up at Ford with a confused expression on his face. When he thought of ‘ice’ a red-haired girl came into his mind. He didn’t remember who the girl was, or where he had seen her before.

“Yes, ice. To help bring out the bruises,” Ford said again, walking out when the elevator stopped. Stan had said he was going to close up the shack today due to their surprise guest, so there was no need to wait for the gift shop to be empty. Bill didn’t expect to see anyone else in the shack, and he was a little hesitant to look at the man who looked similar to Ford. Bill grabbed onto Ford’s arm as they walked past the man.

“I still can’t believe you brought that _creep_ home,” the man said, looking Bill up and down in a judgemental way. “Are you sure it’s even him?”

“Trust me. It’s him. He’s got to be the reason why I’ve been picking up so many different signals from the woods,” Ford replied, stopping right by the door. He looked down at Bill, who was clinging at Ford’s jacket, glaring at the man.

“Why’s he lookin’ at me like that?” The man asked, taking a sip from his can of soda. “Take a picture. It’ll last longer.”

“Stanley,” Ford warned. Bill’s head started to hurt again, and he felt like he had been punched in the face _several times._ Bill tugged on Ford’s sleeve, almost child-like. He wanted to be far away from ‘Stanley’ as he could.

“My… arm really hurts. Can we dunk it in ice already?” Bill asked, his once loud and ~~annoying~~ voice now sounding soft and small.

Ford looked down at Bill, taken back at how his demeanour had changed so suddenly. “Of course. This way…” He walked off towards the kitchen, and Bill followed behind him quickly. He made sure to shoot another quick glare at ‘Stanley’ before he left.

“Who was that?” Bill asked once they were in the kitchen. “And how _dare he_ call me a creep. The nerve on that guy…”

Ford frowned over at Bill as he opened up the freezer, grabbing a bag of ice cubes. “You really don’t remember?”

Bill shook his head. “Nope. Also, you said aaages ago that you’d kill me again, and I want to know if you killed me after you shut down the portal. Because that’s where my memories stop. Another also, how’s Fiddlesticks? Is he doing okay? I’m genuinely concerned for his mental state.”

“Uh, he’s doing well,” Ford said, wrapping the bag of ice with a towel. “Bill, you have a lot of memories left to regain… We didn’t end after I shut the portal down.”

“We didn’t?” Bill watched as Ford sat down at the table, placing the bag of ice on Bill’s arm. Ford shook his head.

“No, we… There’s a few years you missed out there. Many years, actually.” Ford gestured for Bill to take a seat, and he did. Ford started to speak, but Bill noticed his vision fading. Pink circles circled his vision, and he was having difficulty listening and sitting straight and--

_“You aren’t allowed to force his memories. Play by the rules, Stanford Pines. Stop trying to jump to the finish line.”_ A voice spoke, his voice echoed throughout the room. It came from Bill, but it definitely wasn’t Bill.

Bill’s eyes _[both of them]_ glowed a bright pink colour, and his posture changed suddenly. He tilted his head to the side, noticing the confusion on Ford’s face.

_“Let him remember things by himself. Or **else**.” _

Bill fell forward, and with a shake of his head, he was back to normal. “Woah, that was weird,” he said, blinking a few times to get rid of any remaining pink circles from his vision. “What just happened?”

“You… Your eyes turned pink and…” Ford wished he had his journal to write this down in. “And your voice sounded different. It sounded more… put together? And it echoed.”

Bill groaned. “I didn’t realize he could do that,” he said quietly, using his good hand to rub his forehead.

“Who?” Ford asked.

_“Do not tell him about me. Not yet,”_ the Axolotl spoke in Bill’s mind, and Bill rolled his eyes.

“No one. Besides, why should I tell you anything when you didn’t tell me who that man was in the shop,” Bill said. He took the bag of ice away from Ford and lifted it up from his arm.

“Bill, keep it on your arm. Just for a little while longer,” Ford said, quickly pushing the bag back to his arm. “And he’s my brother, Stanley.”

The name made Bill’s head hurt again, and he winced in pain. Blurs of memories and yelling filled his mind, and he squeezed his eyes shut. There was flashes of false promises and friendships and betrayal, going by way too quickly. Punches, too. Lots of punches. _[He deserved every single one.]_

Bill screamed.

Another portion of his memories came back to him, and in return gave him more pain and displeasure of being alive and being… here.

He heard voices- from Ford and someone he didn’t know, trying to calm him down. Voices telling him it was okay, and that he needed to stop screaming. He needed to _stop fucking screaming. Why won’t they stop screaming? His parents just wouldn’t stop screaming. Friends and families and people he didn’t even know engulfed by—_

“Bill, are you okay?”

His eyes shot open, and he then realized water was flowing down his cheeks. Water... _Tears. [When was the last time he cried…? Yikes!]_

“Mabel, sweetheart, could you get me a glass of water, please?” Ford’s voice. Ford. It was Ford. He was with Ford and things were okay. But they weren’t okay at the exact same time and Bill wasn’t sure why and he was so confused.

“Sure thing, Grunkle Ford!” A voice Bill didn’t recognize said, and he heard the cupboard open. Glass clinking as a cup was taken out. The door to the refrigerator opened, and Bill heard plastic crumpling. Water was then being poured out, and Bill could hear the _sloshing_ of it against the glass. He closed his eyes again, becoming hyperaware of the breathing from the two other people in the room. The beating of his heart in his chest- his heart that didn’t belong. The _tap tap tapping_ of a foot on the floor. The clink of the glass as it was set down beside him. The air around him felt heavy, like it was pushing at his chest, wrapping around his throat.

Bill managed to grab onto Ford’s arm tightly with his good arm, and felt the tears roll down his cheeks. He was crying… _why?_ Everything felt like it was spinning around and around and around and his body felt warm.

“Bill?” Ford’s voice broke through the thick air. It pushed away the spinning. It cleared his mind.

“I don’t belong here, Stanford.” Bill’s voice wobbled, and he suddenly felt _so out of place._

_A 2D being doesn’t belong in the 3D world, Bill. Don’t be silly. And stop crying. Big boys don’t cry, Bill._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes this chapter took way too long to write. i was so pumped to write bill coming back but then nothing i wrote worked and flowed well, but im happy with this version!! i hope u all like it <3
> 
> //also if anyone ever wants to talk abt this fic or gravity falls in general feel free to hit me up on my tumblr bill-rehpic OOOOR cipherciphercipher (my cheeky art acc ;3 )
> 
> also also if u ever have any ideas that u think would work well with this it would be so neat to hear them! or even ur possible ideas abt what could happen in the future of it!


	7. Weep Little Lion Man, You're Not As Brave As You Were At The Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re a goddamn liar, Bill Cipher.” Someone once told him.  
> “At least I’m not a square like you are,” he had replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya fuckin boi is BACK with this mess of a fic lol sorry for the long hiatus,,, lost inspiration for this fic but i think i have it back??
> 
> ye! ENJOY THIS CHAPTER ILY ALL !!

“So… Who  _ are _ these people?” Bill had asked once he and Ford were alone. They were sitting in the kitchen, Bill with a bowl of ice cream and Ford with an empty notebook he found lying around. Bill had calmed down from crying earlier, and Ford figured that Mabel wouldn’t mind if he gave Bill some of her ice cream. 

“You really don’t remember?” Ford asked, and Bill shook his head, licking his spoon clean. “Amnesia, perhaps? Or maybe the memory ray erased  _ your _ memories too…” Ford mumbled to himself as he quickly wrote things down. He took a quick sip of his now cold coffee.

“Memory what now?” Bill asked, scooping some more of the mint chocolate chip ice cream into his mouth. 

“What can you remember, Bill?” Ford asked. Yes, starting there would be a good place.

“Me ‘n you. And Fidds! Though I hate him and his stupid banjo,” Bill said, grinning at Ford. He wiped the corner of his mouth and pointed the spoon at Ford. “And I remember the portal…”  _ [And I remember being so in love with you, Stanford.] _

The girl who was at the diner walked in, before stopping when she saw Bill. She glanced at Ford, and took a few steps back. 

“Can… Can I get some lemonade?” She asked softly, and Bill noticed she looked nervous. 

Ford nodded softly. “Of course you can, dear.”

The girl walked past Bill rather quickly to the fridge, grabbing a pitcher of lemonade she made earlier that day. She poured herself a glass, sending glances to Bill every now and then. “Why is he eating my ice cream?” She looked at Ford. “I don’t want him to eat it.”

“I’ll buy you some more, Mabel,” Ford said, and Mabel glared at Bill.

“I thought he was dead. Why is he back, Grunkle Ford?” She held her glass tightly as she walked to stand behind Ford. Bill raised an eyebrow at her, and continued to eat his ice cream. “Are you even sure it  _ is _ him?”

“It’s him, Mabel. Trust me,” Ford replied, watching as Mabel narrowed her eyes at Bill. 

“Prove it.” Mabel sipped at her lemonade, keeping her gaze on Bill.

Bill dropped the spoon back into bowl, and wondered how he was supposed to prove to a girl he didn’t know that he was actually himself.  _ [Pour coffee into your eyes!! You did it once with human soda! She loved it - trust me!!] _ Bill shrugged and picked up Ford’s coffee. He raised it up and poured it into his eyes, laughing to himself. Ford’s eyes widened in horror as he grabbed the mug away from Bill and stood up, going to get him cleaned up.

Mabel frowned as she walked away, going back into the living room to watch TV with Stan and Dipper.

“Why did you do that?” Ford asked, grabbing Bill by the good arm and pulling him to the sink to wash his eyes. “That was stupid and dangerous.”

Bill grinned. “Aw, I love it when you care about me, Fordsy~” He teased. “And I don’t know why I did it. The idea came into my mind so I just… did it.”

Ford simply nodded, and carried on fixing Bill up.

  
  


Bill seemed confident, that’s what Ford had written down so far. Confident and arrogant. After watching him for the past few days, he was 100% certain it was Bill. Bill Cipher. His  beloved  Muse. He had challenged Stanley to a duel, and lost, which caused Bill to have a black eye and even more bruises on his body.  _ (“Fooooord! Stanley punched me for no reason!” “Shut up, Bill! You were askin’ for it!”) _

He had screamed at Dipper when the poor boy accidentally walked into him.  _ (“AH! FORD! Dipper kicked me in the leg and now I can’t walk!” “Stop running to Ford to get sympathy for things you start, Bill!”) _

He even told Mabel that her sweaters were ugly and that she should burn them all.  _ (“STANFORD MABEL’S PULLING MY HAIR!” “Say my sweaters are ugly again and I’ll stab you with my knitting needles! I’m not scared of you!!”) _

In conclusion - it was definitely Bill. 

Bill kept acting out and doing things to get reactions from everyone, which in turn led to everyone being annoyed at Bill, and Stan threatening to kick him out.

But something seemed off. There was a feeling of fakeness in the air. 

Stanford was going to crack this mystery soon.  _ He’ll figure out what Bill’s hiding. _

  
  
  


Ever since Bill left, life in the Nightmare Realm sucked ass. Pyronica obviously took charge, and she ate anyone who refused to agree with that. It was only temporary, she knew Bill would come back, however the rest of the group seemed to change their minds about Bill.

“He’s dead, I heard.”

“Shut up, ‘Morphus Shape, you can’t even hear anything!”   
“Can it, Teeth! Neither can you!”

“Guys, shut up! Bill failed us so we gotta try and do what he did, but better”

“...”

“...”

“No? Really? You’re gonna sit here and be eaten up when this dimension goes all supernova on us?”

Pyronica didn’t like the sound of people trying to recreate what Bill had done. She turned around and walked away, leaving the three to carry on talking about a rebellion. She didn’t want any part of this. The pyramid Bill used to mope around in was still there, however as each day passed parts of it would crumble down into ash and dust. Pyronica dreaded the day when it would disappear fully. She wanted to figure out where Bill was. She refused to believe that he was actually dead. She wouldn’t admit it to anyone but Bill, but she missed him. 

She walked through the empty corridors of the pyramid, looking for signs that Bill was still alive. She saw the chalkboard Bill had written on with the word “AXOLOTL” at the top, and her eye widened. 

_ The Axolotl. _

Of course! That’s who Bill was obsessing over! How could she be so dumb? 

She waved her hand, and a portal appeared. 

It was time to visit the time and space between time and space… again.

 

The place hadn’t changed much since Pyronica last visited, but this time she actually had time to look around and realise how… pretty it was. It was a place she would love to live in. [ _ But that wasn’t going to happen in this timeline.  _ _ Who said that?? _ _ ]  _

“Hello, Pyronica. It’s been a while since you visited,” the Axolotl spoke, his voice echoing through the space they were in. A bubble floated past her, and she placed a hand on her hips, watching it float by. 

“Cut the shit. Where’s Bill?” She asked, not wanting to get all buddy-buddy with the Axolotl. She didn’t like it when it happened the first time. “He’s been missing for a while, now.”

“He’s in the process of being forgiven. You cannot talk to him,” he said, waving his arm and another bubble appeared, this time showing a human, sitting in a bedroom by himself. “He chose this outcome.”

“No. Bill wouldn’t do that. I know him, and he would not want to be stuck in a world like that,” Pyronica exclaimed, trying to figure out if that… human was even Bill. “I don’t believe that it’s him.” 

The Axolotl smiled warmly at Pyronica, and spoke in a language she couldn’t understand. The human looked up and his eyes widened. 

“What’s Py doing there? Can she see me?” The human spoke, and Pyronica frowned. He had Bill’s voice, and only Bill called her ‘Py’. . . Hm. 

The Axolotl spoke again, and Pyronica looked at the bubble with a frown. She wanted to know why he was there. Bill laid down on his bed, and rolled over, his back facing them. The bubble popped.

“What is he doing there?” She asked, glaring at the Axolotl. “Why is he human?”

“Forgiveness,” the Axolotl spoke, his voice calm and soft. “Would you like to hear a poem, Pyronica?”

“Nah, Bill told me your poems were shit. I’m going to find my friend and get him back,” she said, before walking away, towards the portal she used to enter this place. 

She heard the voice of the Axolotl speak as she left.  _ “Say’s he’s happy. He’s a liar.  Blame the arson for the fire.”  _ Ugh. Him and his bullshit poems. 

 

It didn’t take Pyronica that long to work out how to get into someone’s dreams. She wasn’t a dream demon like Bill was, but she had been his friend long enough to know how to do his job for him.

Bill’s dreams were filled with flat colours, and a man Pyronica recognized as Sixer. Sixer and Bill were hugging by a tree, and Pyronica rolled her eye.  _ “So that’s what he was up to when he was down here all those years ago…” _

The world vibrated, causing Bill to look at over at Pyronica, a little shocked to see her standing there by a tree. He smiled and awkwardly waved at her.

“Hey… Bill,” Pyronica said, walking over to Bill. The grass burned to a crisp when she stepped on it, and Bill immediately made it regrow back.

“Hey, Ronnie. What are you doing here? I didn’t imagine you here, so you’re definitely the real thing.” Bill pushed himself up to stand, brushing off dirt. He waved the image of Sixer away and walked to her.

“I wanted to check up on you. I’m glad you aren’t fully dead,” she said, looking Bill’s body up and down. She wrinkled her nose up in disgust. “Human bodies are so ugly. You need to go back to your old self, babes.”

Don’t you think I’ve tried? I don’t even know why I’m here, and I can’t get out of this stupid body. Anyway, why are you here?” Bill asked, looking up at the pink monster. 

“Shit’s goin’ down in the Nightmare Realm and I can’t  _ stand  _ everyone right now,” she said, inspecting her nails and sighed. “Can you come back yet? I actually miss you.”

Bill blinked. “Back? Py, like I said, I don’t really know why I’m here… What happened? What did you mean, ‘not fully dead’?”

“Bill, you… you died. Weirdmageddon failed, you were defeated,” Pyronica explained, but Bill looked like she was speaking another language.

“Huh? What did you just say?” 

“You died, Bill!” Pyronica exclaimed, and the world started to shake. A pastel pink bubble came up and surrounded Bill. And then he was gone. 

 

Pyronica was back in the time and space between time and space, with a glowing axolotl in front of her.

**_“Do not help him.”_ **

 

She woke up in the pyramid. Shit.

  
  


Bill woke up in a cold sweat after having a strange dream with Pyronica in it. He rubbed at his head, his left eye stinging slightly. The clock read 3:34am and he groaned. No one was probably awake, and Bill was feeling thirsty. He sat up and scratched at his cheek, his eye hurting as the minutes dragged by. He swung his legs over the side of his bed, before walking towards the door, making sure to keep as quiet as possible. He knew what stairs creaked and which ones didn’t as he walked down them, heading into the kitchen. His eye felt tingly, like there was something trying to climb out of it.

Like bugs. Lots of gross bugs.

Bill placed a hand over his eye and pushed down on it, but it only increased the odd feeling. He gasped in pain, holding onto the edge of the counter tightly. His knuckles turned white at how tightly he grabbed it, wanting to try and distract himself from the pain. He saw a butter knife on the side near the sink.

_ [Take it out!!! Things with two eyes are weird!! You don’t need that eye!!!!] _

Bill grabbed the knife with his right hand, holding it up to his eye.  _ [Stab! Stab! Stab!! Do it, Bill! Be like your old self!!!]  _ He took a deep breath. He didn’t like having two eyes. His old self had one eye, right? And he wanted to be exactly like his old self...

Three. His hand was shaking, his eye started to feel like it was burning.

Two. He moved the knife closer to his eye.

One-

“Bill?”

The knife clattered as it fell on the floor, and Bill spun around, seeing Ford at the doorway of the kitchen. He switched on the light.

“You’re up late. Is everything… okay?” Ford walked over, spotting the knife that was once in Bill’s hand, on the floor.  _ [Run! Run away!!  _ _ Run into Ford’s arms!!! _ _ ] _

“My eye really hurts… I was just gonna stab it out,” Bill said, looking down at his feet nervously. He heard Ford’s footsteps come closer and he picked up the knife. 

“Why would you want to do that?” Ford asked, setting the knife on the side. He gently took a hold of Bill’s face to look at his eye. Bill felt his heartbeat quicken. “You said it hurts? It doesn’t look like there’s anything wrong with it. Maybe you need more sleep… Dipper always complains that his eyes hurt, but he brings it on himself when he stays awake watching TV.”

“Who’s Dipper?” Bill asked, blinking in confusion. “Oh! Pine Tree! He’s a funny kid. Why is he so paranoid? I heard him talking to himself yesterday. I then screamed at him and he screamed back. It was funny.”

“Bill, stop screaming at people, please,” Ford said, taking a step back with a sigh. “Go back to bed, too. Get some more rest.”

Bill sighed and walked out of the kitchen. He got to the hallway before he heard a small whirring sound, and the sound of bubbles. He glanced back to make sure Ford wasn’t looking, and walked into the living room slowly. The carpet felt weird against his feet, and he took a moment to smile at how soft it felt. He looked up from the ground and saw a fish tank, and inside was a little axolotl, hiding in a little cave that was set up inside. He took a few step closer to it, and felt his heart get stuck in his throat. 

_ “You’ve done bad things, Bill.”  _ He heard the axolotl say, even though his mouth didn’t move at all. 

“What bad things?” Bill asked, tapping on the glass and watched as the creature swum away from him. 

_ “I think it’s time for you to feel what you have done…”  _

Bill felt his vision go dark and he fell backwards.

 

He kept falling.

And falling.

And falling.

 

Until he was flat.  _ [No! No! Not again!!]  _ He was flat and then he was not. He felt the warmth of fire spread around him and he kept feeling the flames go higher and higher up his body. He felt blood on his hands, thousands and thousands of people’s blood on his hand.  _ Drip, drip, drip.  _ He felt the sting of lies leave his mouth, and the warmth of fire back on his hands. Lie and deal and lie and deal and  _ lie until you can’t remember what’s a lie and what’s the truth. _

“You’re a goddamn liar, Bill Cipher.” Someone once told him.

“At least I’m not a square like you are,” he had replied.

He felt love and adoration come from someone in pink, someone with glasses, someone who looked exactly like him. He felt his heart ache at the betrayal, and his heart stopped beating when he lost the one good thing in his life. 

The he felt the rush of joy when he was back. He felt the overwhelming feeling of pride as he gained a new puppet. During both of those times, he lost. He was losing at his own game.

He felt the screams of children pierce through his body, begging him to not hurt their  _ Grunkles. _ He was met with the feeling of fire coursing through his veins, and he screamed.

 

He screamed so loudly his eyes opened and he saw a kid standing above him, holding a glass of orange juice. Bill blinked, left eye then right eye, and was confused.  _ Where was he again?  _ The kid looked down at him, his brown hair lifted away from his forehead and Bill saw a few dots there.  _ … Dipper!  _

Bill sat up quickly and he rubbed the back of his head, having hit it as he fell back. He looked at the fish tank and saw the axolotl swimming around happily.

“Are you alright? You… uh… you were screaming,” Dipper said quietly. “Did you fall asleep down here? You do have a room, you know.” 

Bill nodded, half paying attention to Dipper. “What time is it?” He asked, looking down and noticing that his hands were shaking. He was shaking. Why? 

“It’s seven in the morning… uh, do you want me to get Ford? You look like you’re about to cry,” Dipper said, awkwardly crouching down next to Bill, who instinctively went to rub the tears away from his eyes. 

“No, I’m… I’m okay. I don’t need Ford,” Bill said, looking at Dipper, a scared look on his face. “Am I a bad person?” 

Dipper wasn’t too sure how to answer that. He looked at Bill for a few moments, before speaking. “You were a bad person. You did things to… to hurt all of us. I still have nightmares about you, and it sucks. But you just gotta try to make yourself a good person…”   
Bill wasn’t too sure what he did to Dipper, but the screams came back into his head. And pouring soda into his eyes. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to do any of it… I swear. I didn’t mean to! Dipper, please, I didn’t mean to do anything!” He exclaimed, grabbing onto Dipper’s arms tightly as tears rolled down his cheeks. “I-I… I… I just wanted things to be perfect… To help people!” 

The boy’s eyes widened as Bill leaned his head on Dipper’s shoulder, sobbing loudly. His hands kept shaking and he kept saying he was sorry, and Dipper had know idea what to do.

“Bill… You… You should go upstairs to bed…” Dipper said softly, helping him to stand up. “Go get some sleep. I’ll tell Ford--”

“NO! No, no, you can’t tell Ford! Don’t tell him, please,” Bill begged, looking at Dipper like a deer caught in the headlights. He shook his head, tightening his grip on the boy. “Please don’t…” 

Dipper was a little unsure as to why Bill didn’t want Ford to know, but agreed anyway. “At least come upstairs with me… everyone will be waking up soon and I know how much it sucks to let people see you cry.”

Bill dried his eyes again, and followed Dipper upstairs. Dipper was already a little taller than Bill, which Bill found to be really unfair. He didn’t like how short he was. Next time he spoke to the Axolotl he would bring it up. 

 

Dipper opened the door to Bill’s room, and Bill walked over to his bed and sat down, pulling the covers over himself and tried to feel less… shaky. Dipper awkwardly stood in the doorway. 

“Do you want me to go…?” He asked, and Bill nodded. “Okay… I’ll leave you alone…”

 

And that’s exactly what Dipper did.

 

And Bill was alone again.

 

Alone to feel shitty for... everything.

  
  


He wasn’t exactly sure when he started to cry every single night before sleeping, but it felt weird not doing it now. He would cry and sob into his pillow, scratch his arms until they were raw, and then go to sleep to dream of better times and times when he didn’t fuck everything up.  _ [Bill, you fuck everything up! Big fuck up! Bill “Fuck Up” Cipher!!]  _ Bill also realised that he couldn’t look at the fishtank in the living room without crying, so he tried to avoid going in that room to make sure he didn’t burst into tears. No one - except Dipper - knew about the fact that he cried, and he hoped it would stay that way. 

 

Until Dipper accidentally told everyone during dinner. 

Bill never normally joined the Pines family for dinner, claiming he would rather eat after everyone to make sure the food wasn’t poisoned.

 

“Everyone cries, Mabel. Even Bill!” Dipper said, scooping some mashed potatoes onto his fork and eating it. Ford put his knife and fork down, looking from Dipper to Bill with a confused look. Dipper then realised what he said and widened his eyes. Bill stabbed his knife into the table, glaring sharply at Dipper.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Bill spat, and Stan frowned at Bill.

“Hey, don’t stab the table,” Stan said, pulling the knife out and placing it down. He carried on eating, like nothing had happened.

“Why would you say that, Dipper?” Bill asked, ignoring the looks Mabel and Ford gave them. Dipper sank in his seat, nervous.

“I didn’t mean to… It just slipped out!” Dipper said quickly.

Ford interrupted them. “Bill, you’ve been crying?” He asked, concerned.

“Fuck off. No. I don’t cry.  _ I’m _ not the one who cries,” Bill said, standing up quickly. His chair scraped across the floorboards loudly. “This whole family is full of liars. Fuck all of you.” He turned to walk off, not even excusing himself politely. He got halfway upstairs before the pain in his eye returned and his vision went blurry again.

_ “Stop it. You need to be  _ **_nice_ ** _.”  _ A voice that wasn’t his spoke out, and Bill lost consciousness.

 

The Axolotl hated jumping in to push Bill along, but the man was just so  _ irritating _ that he had to. He moved Bill back down the stairs, before sighing softly as he sent Bill back into the kitchen. 

“ _ Apologies, Pines. Bill didn’t mean to get angry at you, Mason.”  _ Bill’s eyes were glowing pink, and his voice was calmer, softer. _ “I hope you understand that my intentions are pure, here, and I hate to interrupt so early on in this journey, but Bill isn’t cooperating with me.” _

“Who are you, exactly?” Stanford Pines asked, and the Axolotl made Bill smile warmly.

_ “Who I am will be revealed in all due time, Stanford. Bill, at the moment, is in a very emotional state. He doesn’t exactly know why he is here or when he is, but you need to trust him.” _

“How are we supposed to trust you, let alone Bill?” Stanley Pines asked this time, raising an eyebrow. 

The Axolotl sighed.  _ “Bill is powerless. He will not harm any of you. Now, please, return to your conversation before Bill left the room.”  _

Bill’s eyes turned back to normal, and the Axolotl left his body. 

Bill was going to be the death of him. 

 

Everyone watched as Bill blinked a few times, and coughed. Bill looked around and frowned in confusion. “Why am I back here?” He asked, glaring at Dipper, who also looked confused.

“Bill, just sit down and finish your dinner,” Ford said. Bill did as he was told.

  
  
  


In a far corner of the Nightmare Realm, a small gathering of creatures stood around a fire pit. The flames illuminated only parts of their faces, the rest merged with the darkness.

“Kryptos, do you know what you’re doing?” A monster covered head to toe in spikes asked, rubbing his hands together to get warm. Kryptos looked over at Teeth, and nodded.

“Of course I do. I know exactly how Bill made the split between two worlds, and I plan on doin’ the same!” Kryptos said, a laugh escaping him. “But without dying like Bill did.”

“He lied to us. He said if we stay here he would give us a new world to live in. But he died and didn’t keep up his end of the deal. I say we find his body and kill him again!” A creature with fourteen eyes said, and a few other monsters cheered in agreement.

Teeth hushed them. “Shhh! We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves! Pyronica and 8Ball might hear us! They’re over there.”

“What should we do with them? I don’t trust Pyronica. She was always too close to Bill,” Kryptos asked Teeth, who gave a small shrug. 

“I overheard her sayin’ to 8Ball that Cipher was still alive,” a small voice said, and the two self appointed leaders looked down to see a small creature, that looked a lot like a mouse. “We should use her as bait if Cipher  _ is _ still alive!” 

Kryptos and Teeth looked at each other. They looked at the creature. 

“Who are you?” Teeth asked.

“Xario. My people fled here after Cipher destroyed our home in a tantrum,” Xario said, his ears laying flat back against his head as he spoke. “Our Queen died in the fire, and I wanna make Cipher pay!” 

“Xario, you’re going to be a big help in figuring out where the fuck Bill is,” Kryptos said, and he laid his palm flat for Xario to climb up onto. Once he did, he lifted him up. “Tell us exactly what you heard Pyronica say.”

“Well, I was following her and…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also hello pls leave a comment if you enjoyed this so far, ur comments are literally keeping me going and are the only reason this chapter exists.   
> tell me abt what u think is gonna happen!! tell me what u would LIKE to happen!! pls!!


	8. I'm Fucked Up Just Like You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His mind, though, was racing. Racing with memories. Memories of Ford and happiness and _betrayal._

Stanford had many sleepless nights ever since Bill returned. He was always worried that the ex-demon would appear in his dreams, terrorize him, and then try and destroy the world again. Any time that Ford  _ did _ sleep, nothing happened. He was paranoid over nothing. Bill was powerless, nothing could happen. Ford also concluded that Bill had amnesia. Either that or Bill refused to tell him everything he knew about his past. 

He sat at the kitchen table, being the first to be awake. He was reading the newspaper, sipping at his coffee, and feeling content. He had two, perfectly buttered, slices of toast on a plate in front of him. Everything was quiet, the birds outside were chirping softly and it looked like it was going to be a nice day out. Perhaps he should suggest to everyone to go out on a picnic? Yes, that would be peaceful. 

Ford’s peace and quiet was ruined by a loud yell, and  _ thud thud thud thud _ down the stairs. 

“FOOOOOORD” 

Ford sighed. Here comes Bill.

“What?” Ford asked, looking up from the newspaper, trying to not look mad. 

“Dipper’s annoying me and he isn’t doing what I tell him,” Bill complained, sitting down in the chair next to Ford. Bill grabbed Ford’s mug of coffee and started to drink it. “I told him it was my turn in the bathroom, ‘cus I gotta get liquid out of me too, and Dipper was being really grumpy and told me to wait. So I did for a minute, and then walked into the bathroom. Dipper was… what’s the thing called? Where you stand naked under flowing water for a while and sometimes cry?”

“... Bill, you walked in on Dipper showering?” Ford asked, pulling his mug back. 

“Yeah, so, anyway, like I was sayin’, Dipper screamed and told me to get out, but I  _ really _ needed to get rid of the liquid from my body,” Bill said, picking up one of the slices of toast and started to eat it. “So Dipper yelled at me some more and threw a bottle of shampoo at my head. I told Dipper he was being weird for trying to watch me use the bathroom, and he told me that he hates me and is planning on killing me!!”

Ford sighed, and rubbed his temples, feeling a headache starting to come on. “Bill, Dipper was trying to shower. You need to wait your turn.” Ford pulled his plate over to the other side so Bill couldn’t eat his other slice of toast.

“But I really needed to use the bathroom. I needed to… what’s the word… pee! Yeah, really needed to pee. And you told me I had to do it in the toilet, and not in the forest. So I did and now you’re annoyed at me??” Bill asked, glaring at Ford. “Talk about being a hypocrite.”

“Bill, no, when I said you need to use the bathroom, I meant use it when  _ no one else _ is using it,” Ford said with a sigh. He noticed this morning there were a few more grey strands of hair on his head, and he assumed that Bill was the cause of it. 

Stan walked in, glanced at Bill, and mumbled a “morning” to Ford. He then made his way to the fridge to get breakfast. Bill watched Stan, still munching on Ford’s toast and frowned. 

Dipper soon walked down, followed by an angry Mabel. She made her way to Bill, and picked him up by the collar of his shirt. Bill looked confused and Mabel frowned at her.

“If you scare my brother one more time I’m going to rip your limbs off and shove ‘em up your ass,” she spat and dropped Bill back down on the chair. Mabel then smiled sweetly at Stan and Ford, before going to get a glass of Mabel Juice. Bill frowned at her, and scooted his chair closer to Ford. 

“It’s your own fault, Bill,” Ford mumbled as he glanced at him. “I think you should apologize to Dipper.”

“No. I needed to pee. It’s his fault,” Bill said in response, and Dipper glared at him as he sat down on the table.

“Grunkle Ford, he unlocked the door from outside to get in!” Dipper exclaimed, pointing his spoon at Bill. “And then wouldn’t get out of the bathroom when I yelled at him!”   
“Because I needed to pee!” Bill retorted and crossed his arms over his chest with a huff. “Y0u should’ve been quicker.” He grabbed Ford’s other slice of toast and started eating. With a sigh, Ford put down the newspaper and stood up, placing his now empty plate in the sink. 

He walked past Stan. “You’re dealing with  _ him _ today,” he whispered, and made his way down to the basement. He rubbed at his temples as he walked down the stairs and into the lift down. It was only nine in the morning and Ford was already done with today. Perhaps the picnic idea wouldn’t be the best. He really needed to get out of the house, get away from Bill.

Once he got into his lab, he remembered he wanted to go out and research a creature he had little information about. He originally wanted to ask Dipper to join him, but decided that he hadn’t spoken to Fiddleford in a while. He walked over to the phone, and called Fiddleford.

 

Bill was lost when Ford when downstairs to the basement. Dipper and Mabel would glare at him, and Stan didn't seem too bothered about the whole situation. Bill nervously scratched his arm and wondered if Ford was going to come back up. When a few minutes had passed and there was no sign of the scientist, he started to feel a tightness in his chest. He didn't like being around everyone else, they seemed to hate him and Bill had no idea why. He dug his nails into his palm as he felt like he couldn't breath. His throat had closed up and  _ boy it was getting hot in here!!  _ He heard Mabel and Dipper laugh, but his hearing was muffled, like he had water or cotton wool stuffed in his ears. He watched as they looked at him, pointing and laughing. He blinked, and everything was normal.  _ [They’re talking about you, Bill. Kill them. Destroy them!! You can do it, I know you can.  _ _ Who… are you?? _ _ ]  _ Bill felt his heartbeat quicken and he dropped the slice of toast he was eating back onto the plate. Something was going wrong inside of him and he didn't know what. He heard laughter, Stan had told a joke that Dipper and Mabel found funny.  _ [What had three sides and one eye, but now has no sides and two eyes? Bill Cipher!! HAHAHAHAHA!! Pathetic. That’s what you are, Bill.]  _ He noticed Dipper was looking at him with an odd look on his face, and then he looked away, as if considering something. Bill watched as Dipper finished his cereal and stood up to put the bowl in the sink. Mabel put her jug of Mabel Juice back into the fridge and rushed after Dipper, talking about how they were going to meet up with someone called Pacifica later. Which left Stan and Bill alone in the kitchen.

Now, to say that Bill was scared of Stan was an understatement. Bill was  _ terrified  _ of the man. He had a faint memory of blue fire and punching and somehow that linked to Stan. And yet, in that moment, when Bill felt like he couldn’t breath and his hands were shaking and  _ oh god why wasn’t Ford up here???  _ he looked at Stan to try and find comfort. Stan glanced up from the newspaper that Ford had left down on the table, and raised an eyebrow in concern.

“Woah, you alright there, kid?” Stan asked softly.

“I-I… I.. I can’t breathe…?? My…” Bill gestured to his throat and frowned. “I… can’t…” He squeezed his eyes shut and wondered why the hell he was acting like this. He heard the chair scrape across the floor and knew that Stan was leaving.

He didn't expect a gentle hand on his arm. And he certainly didn't expect Stan to sit next to him.

“Try and breathe through your nose, not your mouth,” Stan said and Bill wondered why Stan was even bothering to help him. But, Bill tried it. He shut his mouth and breathed through his nose, feeling the tightness of his chest fade away slowly. His hands were beginning to stop shaking and he felt… okay. He wasn’t great, but he felt okay. He opened his eyes and looked at Stan, who gave him a small pat on the back.

“Are you going to tell Ford?” Bill asked, his voice small and the complete opposite to how he was just minutes ago.

Stan shook his head as he stood up. “Nah, not unless you want me to.”

“Not really…” Bill said. 

“Then I won’t tell him. Besides, he told me to deal with you today. So I am. He doesn’t need to know everything that happens,” Stan said with a smile, walking over to look at the sink, which was almost full with dishes. “Huh. Should probably wash these… Eh, wanna come watch TV?” He looked back at Bill. Bill nodded, standing up to follow Stan into the living room.

 

Bill didn't spend most of the day there. He would wander around the house, purely out of boredom. He had nothing else to do, and he didn't really want to talk to Dipper or Mabel. When he walked down the stairs for the third time in the hour, he heard talking by the front door. He frowned as he made his way there, and saw Ford talking with someone at the door. 

“...You got company over?” The guy at the door asked, and pointed at Bill. Ford turned around and sighed when he saw Bill.  _ [He hates you. He hates you he hates you he hates you he hates--]  _

“That’s just Bill…” Ford said and turned back to the guy at the door to carry on talking. Bill frowned.  _ Just Bill? _ He sighed and walked away from the door, not caring who was talking to Ford. Ford obviously hated him for some reason, and he wish he knew what he did wrong. Maybe he would find out someday… 

The rest of Bill’s day was spent upstairs in his room, which was rather empty and bare and felt very unwelcoming. He didn't want to see anyone, or talk to anyone for that matter. When he was called down for dinner he considered skipping, but remembered Ford was getting annoyed that Bill kept skipping meals. He made his way downstairs slowly, and awkwardly stood in the doorway of the kitchen. He hated dinnertime. He hated being near everyone. Mabel pushed past him as she took her seat at the table, next to Dipper. Dipper smiled softly at Bill, and pointed to the chair next to him. 

“Aren’t you going to sit down?” He asked. Bill shook his head. Ford wasn’t in the room yet, and he didn't want to be alone with them again. Dipper just shrugged and went to talk to Mabel about something.  _ [How dare he think he can talk to you like that. Just because he saw you cry. Ugh, you should’ve killed him when you had the chance…]  _ Bill’s eyes widened at the voice in his mind. He was going to kill Dipper? When?? He didn't even remember much about Dipper. Stan started to place the food down on the table - it was lasagna tonight - and watched as Dipper and Mabel were already helping themselves to servings. Bill grew more and more nervous as each moment passed. 

“Bill, come sit,” Stan said, once he was finally sat down. Bill noticed there was only one other spare plate set out. 

“Where’s Ford’s plate?” Bill asked, not moving from his spot.

“Ford’s out with McGucket tonight,” Mabel said as she started to eat her food. “He won’t be back until tomorrow.”

Bill froze. He felt his throat tighten again. “What…” He managed to whisper out, and Stan noticed that he was acting like he was this morning.

“Bill, it’s fine… They’re off on a monster hunt or somethin’ stupid like that. Come eat with us,” Stan said, and Bill shook his head. 

“You could’ve poisoned the food… I-If Ford isn’t here then I’m not eating.” Bill clenched his fists when he heard the younger twins groan at the mention of the food being poisoned. Bill didn't trust any of their cooking, afraid that they were out to kill him. 

“Bill, shut up and eat. We haven’t poisoned anything,” Mabel said, a little harshly. Dipper nudged her and shook his head. She looked away with a sour look on her face.

“What is it?” Bill asked, as he took a small step closer to the table to inspect the food.

“Lasagna. It’s pasta and meat and cheese and vegetables. It’s really good. You’ll like it,” Dipper said, holding some up on his fork. Bill looked at it and wrinkled his nose up in disgust. 

“It looks gross. I’m not eating that,” Bill said. “I want crackers and cheese.” Normally, with Ford here, Bill got his way. Mostly because Ford didn't want to put up with Bill’s constant whining. This time was different.

“No,” Stan replied and looked at Bill. “You aren’t getting anything until you sit down and eat this.”

Bill was quiet for a few moments as he considered it. “...You can’t make me eat it.”

“You want a bet? Sit your ass down and eat, Bill,” Stan said, a little stricter this time. 

Bill shook his head. 

“Grunkle Stan, just let him starve! He’s a jerk and doesn’t deserve anything we cook him,” Mabel exclaimed out, and Bill wondered what he had done to make Mabel so mad at him.

“Shut up!” Bill snapped at Mabel, which caused Stan to point his fork at Bill.

“Hey! Either sit your ass down and eat or go upstairs and starve. I don’t care at this point,” Stan said, and Bill turned around and went upstairs. 

“How does Ford deal with him?” Stan mumbled and carried on eating. He saved Bill’s plate of food for later, though.

  
  
  


That night, Bill was left alone with Stanley which wasn’t ideal at all. Dipper and Mabel were off to have a sleepover at Pacifica’s, and Ford and Fiddleford were off on an overnight ‘adventure’. Which meant Bill had to stay with Stan. Stan told him that it would be best if Bill was in his sight at all times, just so he knew that Bill wasn’t doing anything stupid. So they were sitting in the living room together, watching a show that happened to be on TV at the time. Stan was sitting on the couch, and Bill, being too scared to sit near Stan, sat on the floor, his back to the fish tank, and he was drawing. Mabel had left her arts and crafts set down on the floor, so Bill decided to investigate what everything did. He was loving the glitter glue, and the scented pens. Bill hadn’t said a word to Stan since dinner, and he hoped that Stan would fall asleep soon so he could go hide in his bed again. The uncomfortable silence was broken by Stan.

“Whatcha drawing?” Stan asked, glancing over at Bill. Bill didn't look up from his paper.

“The death of my home dimension. I burnt it down because I could,” Bill said, looking at Stan. He wasn’t quite sure why he said that, or if it were even true. He just… felt like he had done something bad before in the past, and this was that bad thing.  _ [Just you wait and see! You’ve done soooo many bad things!]  _

Stan took a sip from his soda and looked back at the TV screen, scratching his stomach. “Yeah, you’ve told me before.”

Bill frowned. “When?” He asked, not remembering telling anyone anything personal. In fact, he avoided it. Whenever Ford asked for his personal information, Bill would stay silent. The only person who knew was Pyronica. And now Stan, apparently. He frowned at Stan, still not comfortable talking with him.

“Years ago. When you came to help me with the portal. Until you decided to try an’ blow it up,” Stan explained, before pausing. “You… uh… got that amnesia thing, right?”

“That’s what Sixer was saying to me,” Bill said, and carried on drawing his picture. “I remember a lot of things, I just… don’t want him to know everything.”   
“Hah, yeah, I can relate to you on that!” Stan laughed. “You aren’t that bad though, kid. Sure, you’re a shit some days, but you aren’t that bad. You were an ass earlier at dinner, though. I wanna say sorry for yellin’ at you, though.”

Bill sat upright and looked at Stan. He then glanced behind him, noticing the axolotl was looking straight at him from the fishtank. Stan noticed Bill was looking at the creature.

“Those things are only supposed to last 10 years. He’s been here since I lived here after Ford… y’know,” Stan said, looking at Bill. “I named it Axe, ‘cus it’s funny.”

“I hate them. The one I know never shuts up,” Bill mumbled and turned his back to the tank. Stan was confused, but didn't say anything. He watched as Bill got a fresh sheet of paper and started to draw the creature, surrounded by pink bubbles. A small, yellow triangle was in the middle of the page - and Stan assumed that was Bill. He turned back to watch TV, a few questions at the back of his mind that he wanted to ask Bill about.

A while passed, and Bill gave up on drawing. He was leaning his head against the arm of the couch, watching whatever Stan was watching. As he was never in the living room, he never really got time to watch TV. It was fun seeing all the actors move on the screen. He heard soft patting coming from the couch, and looked up, seeing Stan pat the space next to him. Bill raised an eyebrow.

“The floor isn’t as comfy as the couch. C’mon, I’m not gonna bite,” Stan said. Bill hesitated, before climbing up onto the couch to sit next to Stan. Stan turned back to watch TV. 

Bill felt a wave of deja vu flood him, and he shuddered. “What… What happened when I helped you?” He asked quietly. He was getting a little annoyed that he couldn’t remember everything about his life. Stan glanced at Bill.

“Normal stuff… You taught me lots of complicated science-y things,” Stan said with a shrug. “It was like hanging out with a friend. Before you betrayed me I considered you a friend, y’know.”

Bill glanced down at his hands and frowned, determined to try and remember  _ something _ . He had obviously betrayed Stan, and where was Ford in all of this? He couldn’t think of anything. “But… was it just us? Where was Ford…?”

“Ford? He, uh… Y’know that portal the two of you made?” Stan started, and Bill nodded. “Well, uh, we got into a fight. It turned on and he fell through the portal to god knows where. Then a few weeks later you showed up, sayin’ you were a friend of Fords. I believed you.”

Images and voices flashed through Bill’s mind as a wave of memories came crashing back down. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face, trying not to scream because  _ god, was he a bad person!!  _ He shuddered, hearing Ford’s voice talk to him.  _ [Not him. Old him. Bad him.]  _ It was smooth and happy and full of love and admiration.  _ [Now his voice was cold and tired and full of hate. Hate hate hate. Everyone hates Bill Cipher!]  _  He felt stupid for betraying Ford, for falling in love with Ford, for being  _ absolutely in love with the man.  _

“Woah, hey, are you alright kiddo?” Stan asked, frowning in concern as he looked at Bill. Bill was shaking, and letting out loud gasps and sobs. Stan felt sorry for the guy.

Bill shook his head and groaned, sharp pain coming from the back and front and sides of his head. He remembered Ford, and the betrayal - yelling at F for ruining his plans  _ [the guy at the door was F. Surprised he didn't kill you or something…]  _ He remembered killing a vessel, betraying Stan, betraying everyone. Why was he such a bad person to the Pines. He felt like there was more to remember. There had to be more between then and now. Bill looked at Stan, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Why am I here i-if I was such a bad person?” He asked, his voice shaking as he felt his throat close up again. “Why… Why?”

Stan shrugged simply. “You found us, remember? We have no idea why you’re here,” he said, and everything went quiet for a while.

The only sound came from the talking on the TV as Bill eventually calmed himself down. His breathing was fine, and his hands had stopped shaking. His mind, though, was racing. Racing with memories. Memories of Ford and happiness and  _ betrayal. [See? Ford would never love you after  _ **_that._ ** _ ]  _ Bill furrowed his brow as he stared at the floor, watching his memories play back like a movie. Stan gently nudged Bill. 

“Everythin’ okay? You look kinda spaced out,” Stan said, worried. He offered a small smile as Bill looked at him.

“I remember… remember stuff… up to you. I can remember up to you,” Bill whispered, feeling so guilty for hurting both Stan and Ford. His heart ached and the feeling of guilt was new and overwhelming and he wanted to hide in his room and cry some more. “I-I’m such a bad person.”

Stan shook his head and sighed. “We’re all bad people, Bill. We’ve all done shit we aren’t proud of. You just need to learn to fix your mistakes…”

“Like you and Ford did?” Bill asked softly, remember Stan telling him about his fight with Ford when they were almost eighteen.  

Stan nodded. “Yeah… like me an’ Ford did.”

“Are you going to tell Ford I have some of my memories back?” Bill looked at Stan with worry. 

Stan shook his head. “I think it’s best for you to do that.”

 

Bill went to bed that night feeling guilty. He felt so bad for hurting everyone. 

When he did fall asleep, he was met with a very anxious looking Pyronica.

“Bill, you  _ need _ to come back,” she said, grabbing onto his arm and opening up a portal to the Nightmare Realm. “Shit is going down and I am so close to killing everyone there.”

The portal that was opened showed a scene of people shouting, chanting. An alliance was being formed, from what Bill could see. Alliances in a lawless place was not a good idea.

Something bad was going to happen and Bill wasn’t too sure what. 

“Word got around that you failed and people, mainly Kryptos and Teeth, think they’re the shit now and can copy you,” Pyronica explained, trying to tug Bill through the portal. “We need you back. 8-Ball and I are going crazy.”   
“Ronnie, I can’t go like  _ this _ ,” Bill gestured to himself, and he watched his friend’s face fall.

“Ugh, yeah, you’re right. You can’t go like that. You look hideous,” she said with a roll of her eye.

“Thanks. Really know how to cheer a guy up,” Bill mumbled.

“Is there a way you can get your old form back?” She asked. “What about Sixer? He was smart. Will he know a way?”

Bill frowned in thought. “Maybe…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey how are u all liking this fic?? i lov reading ur comments abt this!  
> what do u think is gonna happen next?? and what would YOU like to see happen???   
> tell me!!


	9. I Wouldn't Hesitate To Smile While You Suffocate and Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot went on in Bill’s head. A lot of scary things.

When Bill woke up that next morning, Ford was still out, which caused him to become even more worried and nervous and a mess. He sat in the kitchen with Stan, listening to the  _ Gravity Falls Radio Show _ that was playing on the radio. Stan was making Stancakes, and would glance back at Bill to make sure he was doing okay. He worried about Bill, and wondered what went on in the ex-demon’s head.

A lot went on in Bill’s head. A lot of scary things.

Bill had zoned out and was staring at the toaster, listening in to the voice that was in his head. He never really used to pay attention to it, but the voice sounded violent. The voice sounded like him. He listened as the voice as it told him to slam Stan’s face onto the hot stovetop and watch his skin burn off. He listened as it told him to drown Dipper in the bathtub, to choke Mabel with her yarn. He listened as it told him to do that all whilst Ford watched.

Stan waved his hand in front of Bill’s face to get his attention, which caused him to jump and miss what else the voice had to say. 

“You alright? Kinda zoned out there, buddy,” Stan said, placing a stack of pancakes on a plate in front of him. Bill nodded in response as he picked up his fork, beginning to eat. He chomped on his food, trying to get the voice to talk to him again. He frowned when that was unsuccessful. 

“When will Sixer be back?” Bill then asked Stan, looking over at him. He was dishing up three more plates of pancakes. 

Stan shrugged. “Who knows. Probably around dinner. He’ll be back by tonight, though,” he told Bill, before yelling for Dipper and Mabel to come down for breakfast.

The twins rushed downstairs, grinning as they smelled the scent of pancakes fill the air. Mabel was the first to sit down, so she got the chair that wasn’t next to Bill. 

“These smell great, Grunkle Stan!” She beamed, watching as Dipper took the seat next to Bill.

“Yeah, they look good too. Is it a new recipe?” He asked, smiling as Stan place two plates down for them, and ruffled Dipper’s hair up playfully. 

“Stop it, stop it, you’re too kind!” Stan laughed, grabbing a plate for himself and joining the three. 

Mabel told the table about her wild dream she had last night, which was full of detail and bright colours and ended up being half an hour long. Dipper wasn’t paying attention to Mabel, he was more worried about Bill, who was zoned out again, staring at the fruit bowl that was in the middle of the table. He gently poked Bill’s arm, and he blinked once, twice, and looked at Dipper. 

“What was that for?” Bill snapped, shoving the rest of his pancake into his mouth. “I was thinking about stuff and you interrupted me.”

“What stuff were you thinking about?” Dipper asked curiously, raising an eyebrow at Bill.

Bill turned to look at him directly in the eyes. “Drowning you in a bathtub,” he deadpanned. He then blinked and stood up, going to put his plate in the sink. He then went to sit in the living room.. Dipper looked around at Mabel and Stan, who were talking about something, and hadn’t heard Bill’s comment to Dipper. He frowned. Something was off.

 

Bill took a seat in front of the fish tank, staring up at the axolotl as he swam around, chasing bubbles that were in the tank. He glared at how much fun the creature was having. He tapped on the glass again, frowning. 

“Hey, jerk. I wanna leave this place,” he said, watching the axolotl yawn. “Talk to me. I know you can talk. I wanna leave. I change my mind. Let me float around in nothingness.”

There was silence in the room. The quiet hum of the fish tank angered Bill, and he sat back with a groan. He was getting irritated - Ford wasn’t back, the Axolotl wasn’t talking to him and the rest of the Pines family seemed to hate him. He tugged at his hair. He heard someone walk in, and saw Stan, with his hands behind his back. 

“I’m fine, before you ask,” Bill snapped quickly, glaring up at Stan before turning back to stare at the fish tank. 

“You seem like you’re on edge, kid,” Stan said as he sat down on the couch. He pulled out a yellow rabbit toy onto his lap. “And I got somethin’ that could cheer you up.”

“A stuffed animal? I’m not a baby, Fez,” Bill scoffed with a roll of his eyes. He didn't look away, though. 

“His name is Bon. He’s here to help you feel better,” Stan explained, before making Bon wave. He put on a funny high pitched voice. “Heya Bill! I wanna be your friend!”

Bill’s eyes widened. “He’s alive…” He whispered, crawling over to be closer to Stan and the toy rabbit.

“But I guess you aren’t a baby, and I guess you don’t want him…” Stan went to stand up, but Bill snatched the rabbit out of Stan’s hands.

“No. He’s mine now,” Bill said, hugging the soft toy close to him. Stan just laughed and sat back down, turning on the TV. Bill took one look at what Stan was watching and rolled his eyes, before going to go upstairs. He walked to his room, humming to himself as he stroked the soft fur of the toy. He plopped the bunny on his bed and smiled, neatening everything up. 

“This is your home now, Bon,” Bill said, tucking the bunny into bed. “You will stay here, but I’m not forcing you to. You can leave, but I will be sad. I know how it feels to be stuck someplace where you don’t want to be.” He gave the toy a small pat on the head, and sighed, falling back onto his bed. “I don’t want to be here anymore, Bon. I miss… my friends. I miss Py.” Bill rolled over to poke the bunny’s nose. “I miss us joking around… throwing Kryptos off of a cliff… pushing Teeth down that huge pit…” He sighed again and closed his eyes. 

 

Pyronica was trying to keep everything under control in the Nightmare Realm, but things weren’t in control. As each day passed the place would shudder and fall apart slowly. It was bound to explode soon, and people were starting to panic. She had overheard more things about a rebellion, but honestly didn't care anymore. She sat up in the penthouse part of the fearamid Bill built, which was slowly starting to decay. She was trying her hardest to keep things together. She rubbed under her eye and groaned, before hearing a tap on the floor. She looked down, seeing a small, mouse-like creature look up at her.

“Who the fuck are you and how did you get in here?” She asked, sitting up straight.

“Xario. It’s a pleasure to meet you. My people have fled here in hopes of a better life,” Xario started, which caused Pyronica to scoff. “Anyway… I heard that you were still talking to Cipher…?”

She frowned, and picked up the creature by his tail. “What do you know about that?”

Xario squealed as he was suddenly picked up. “I-I overheard you talking about it! He’s my idol and I want you to tell him something for me!!”

“What?” She dropped Xario, who landed on the palm of her hand. She narrowed her eye at him. “What do you want to tell Bill?”

“That I want to be just like him!” Xario exclaimed. His face then changed, turning sinister. For a small mouse-like creature, he looked terrifying. “And that I know exactly how.”

  
  


Ford arrived home late that evening. He had missed out on dinner, and had just missed the ending of the season finale of  _ Ducktective _ . (It was a repeat episode, so he had already seen it before. But still - he missed out on quality family time.) He kicked off his muddy boots and hung his jacket up in the hallway. He called out that he was back, and Dipper and Mabel ran up to hug him and tell him how much they missed him. Dipper was eager to talk about to Ford about what happened on his trip. Mabel was asking if there were any wild bears that attack him, as he had some bandages wrapped around his wrist. Ford assured the twins that he was fine, and they lead him into the living room. He smiled at Stan, and then raised an eyebrow when he saw Bill curled up in a ball beside Stan, hugging a stuffed animal. Stan just laughed. 

“Think he trusts me now. Like a cat, y’know? He wouldn’t sit anywhere near the kids,” he told Ford, who looked rather confused. 

“That’s… progress? If he’s able to sleep in front of you then I suppose it’s a sign of trust,” Ford said. 

Bill groaned as he started to wake up, stretching his arms and legs out in a very cat-like manner, and he looked up. “Is that Sixer?” He asked quietly, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. 

“Yeah, it’s him,” Stan replied, as he switched the TV channel onto something else. 

Bill blinked a few times, and grinned. “You’re an asshole,” he told Ford. He laid back down and closed his eyes. “An asshole for leaving. Stupid… I hate you.” 

Ford couldn’t help but chuckle at that, and rolled his eyes. “What’s with the bunny, Bill?” He asked, a little curiously. 

“He’s mine. He’s alive. He tells me secrets,” Bill explained softly, hugging the toy. “Why did you take so long?”

Ford raised an eyebrow. “You know it was going to be a long… you know what? I think it’s best if we all go to bed. I’ve had a long day, and I’m sure you’ve all had long days.”

“But Grunkle Ford, we wanna hear about your adventure with McGucket!” Mabel whined softly with Dipper nodding in agreement.

“Tomorrow, I promise,” Ford said, feeling a little guilty that he made Dipper and Mabel disappointed.

 

The next morning, the Pines were up early. The shack was opening, as tourist season was starting back up again. Stan, Dipper and Mabel were out in the gift shack, rearranging gift items on the shelves. Boxes of snowglobes and bobble heads and t-shirts were still waiting to be unpacked and organized. Stan had called for Wendy to help out, but she hadn’t turned up. Stan had also called up Soos to help, but he promised he would be there when the shack opened - Melody was having trouble with something and, being the good boyfriend he is, he needed to help her out. So he was left with Dipper and Mabel to help set things up. The two twins would giggle at how outdated some of the merchandise was, saying how  _ only old people would buy this stuff _ and  _ Grunkle Stan, no one likes bobble heads anymore.  _

By the time the shack opened, tourists were already filing in, wanting to see the totally real mysteries that lay in the woods and in the museum. Dipper sat in the gift shop with Wendy, who had finally turned up, and they were talking about some band that they both liked. Mabel was sitting on the boxes of merch, texting Candy and Grenda about plans to meet up and have a sleepover. They all turned their heads when they saw Bill poke his head through the doorway.

“Is that…?” Wendy started, and Dipper nodded in response. “Woah… He doesn’t look scary at all! Kinda cute, in a weird little brother way, y’know?” She said. 

Bill glared at her. “Where’s Ford?” He asked, looking to Dipper and Mabel. “I need to see him.”

“He’s in the basement, duh,” Mabel replied, rolling her eyes as she went back to texting.

“But you aren’t allowed in there!” Dipper added quickly, going to stand by the vending machine. “Because the Shack is open again, you can’t just come and go from the basement… Ford said you have to stay up here…”

“No.” Bill pushed past Dipper to press in the code, only for it to buzz red. The door didn't open. “Hey, what the heck?? Let me in!” He pressed in the code again. It didn't move. 

“You’ll break it if you keep doing that,” Wendy warned, which caused Bill to turn and glare at her again. 

“Shut up. I don’t know who you are, but shut up,” Bill snapped, pressing in the code again and again. He was eventually pulled away by Dipper, who sighed.

“Bill, no, you can’t visit Ford. He’ll come out at lunch time, okay?” Dipper said softly, which caused Bill to get more angry and push Dipper away. 

“I’ll kill you if you don’t let me--” Bill started to say, before his eyes rolled backwards and the whites of his eyes turned pink. “ _ Apologies, Mason Pines. Bill still hasn’t learnt where his manners are. Trust me when I say that Bill will not harm you. Nor will his harm any of you. Ah! Miss Corduroy, lovely to meet you. I’m excited to see how your chapter is going to play out. Anyway- I will be escorting Bill upstairs to his room, and will be having stern words with him. Ever so sorry for bothering you all.”  _ ‘Bill’ turned around and walked out of the room.

Wendy glanced at the twins in a state of confusion. “What just happened?”

Dipper sighed, and began to explain everything he knew to Wendy. 

 

When Bill opened his eyes, he was met with a very angry looking Axolotl. He groaned and looked away, already pretending to take interest in the glowing pink bubbles around him.

“Bill. Explain why you threatened Dipper?” The Axolotl spoke, disappointment seeping through his voice.

“Why not?” Bill said with a casual shrug. “Can I go now? I need to see Sixer.”

“No. In fact, you are going to stay here until I see that you’re calm and ready to go back,” The Axolotl spoke. After that, he disappeared, leaving Bill alone in the pink and bubble filled world for hours. 

 

When he finally woke up, he was calmer and felt well rested. He stretched his arms out with a small groan, and stood up. He was getting lonely, and needed something to do. So he pulled on some clean, less sweaty clothes and went downstairs. He his clothes were a mixture of Mabel’s old sweaters and shirts and Dipper’s current shirts, shorts and pants. He even had some of Ford’s shirts and boxers in his closet, but they were comfy and smelled like Ford, so of course he would wear them. He wore one of Dipper’s orange shirts, and some of Mabel’s shorts she bought for herself a while ago but never wore. 

Bill poked his head around the door and frowned when he saw no sign of Dipper and Mabel. Instead, he saw the redhead from earlier and a man who reminded Bill of a gopher. The redhead noticed Bill, and sat up straight in her chair.

“You okay there?” She called out to him, which caused the gopher man to turn around.  _ [That shirt… and her hair… Red?? Question Mark?? Ice?]  _ Bill shook his head in response.

“Where’s… Dipper?” He asked, nervously fiddling with the edge of his shirt. “Or Stan. Where’s Stan? I liked him.”

“Stan and Dip are doing a tour at the moment,” the redhead said, and she checked her phone for the time. “They’ll be back soon. You want somethin’?”

“Where’s Mabel?” Bill ignored the girl’s last question. 

“Out with Candy and Grenda. But it’s cool, you can hang with me and Soos!” The girl replied, and the  gopher man , Soos, turned around and waved.

“Hey there, little dude!” He said with a smile, and Bill’s nose wrinkled up in disgust. 

“No. I want them. Or to see Ford. Let me see him,” Bill demanded, standing up straight.  _ [Faking confidence! I like it. Very ‘old school Bill’ style!] _

“No can do, Bill. There’s an hour until Ford comes up for lunch. You can see him there - direct orders from Stan Two,” the girl said, and Bill growled.

“Aw, look at his little face! We can’t keep him up here forever, Wendy! I’m sure the second Mr Pines wouldn’t mind if he visited for a… wait a minute, Bill? As in the triangle guy?” Soos asked, turning to look at the girl (who Bill assumed was Wendy) with wide eyes. “He’s here? As in - that’s really him?? Woah, that’s like, the best, no, worst thing I’ve heard all day! And Mr Pines told me the store was out of those hot dogs in funny shapes!” 

“Soos! Shh! He’s right there!” Wendy hushed him, before turning back to look at Bill. “We can’t let you down there. I don’t even know the code anymore!” 

“Then find out! I want to see Sixer, and I’m not letting you flesh bags get in my way!” Bill yelled, as he stormed over to the vending machine to start guessing codes.  _ [You could just blow the thing up. Blow the whole shack up! Blow it up!! Kill everyone inside, Bill. It’ll be payback. Trust  _ **_me_ ** _. _ _ I don’t know who you are… _ _ ]  _ Soos walked over to pick Bill up and move him, and Bill started waving his arms about in an attempt to throw Soos off or to grab onto the vending machine. 

“You gotta stop that!” Soos warned, his voice still soft. He was never good at being stern or mean to people. “Mr Pines and Dipper will be back soon, so you can talk to them about it!” 

Bill was getting annoyed that he wasn’t getting his own way. A small tantrum was starting to form. “Let me speak to Ford!  _ Now!!! _ He wouldn’t treat me like this! You’re both being jerks!” He waved his arms about, and accidentally knocked over a shelf of ‘Mr Mystery’ bobble heads that were ‘limited edition’.

Soos gasped. “Oh no! Not the ‘ _ Limited Edition Totally Not Resales Of All The Other Mr Mystery Bobbleheads!’ Mr Mystery Bobbleheads!”  _ He exclaimed. 

“Bill! Pick them up!” Wendy shouted, standing up from her seat and pointing to the merchandise that Bill just knocked over. Bill placed his hand behind one of the snowglobes, and started to push it towards the edge. “Bill… I’m warning you… That’s made of very cheap plastic that gives you a bad rash, you don’t want to knock that over.”

Bill flicked his wrist, causing the snow globe to fall on the floor and bounce. Wendy groaned loudly, and Bill started to run away. He ran out of the gift shop, and through the living room. He was caught by a very angry Wendy before he could dart up the stairs and lock himself in the bathroom. She dragged him by his ear, pulling him all the way back through to the gift shop, and pointed at the mess. 

“Clean it up. Now,” She demanded, not willing to put up with his shit today. Bill didn't move, and he shook his head.

“No.” He crossed his arms, acting very childish.

“Yes. Bill, do not fuck with me today. I’m running on one cup of coffee and my brother’s did my head in this morning.  _ You _ are not ruining my day even more. Clean up this shit,” She said, and Bill groaned. He bent down and started to put the bobbleheads back onto the shelf, making sure to groan and whine each time he did it. Wendy didn't care. She had got her way and she was fine with Bill moaning and complaining. She went and sat back down at the counter, mumbling about how she deserved a raise, and went back to reading the magazine she brought with her. Soos carried on sweeping the floors, making sure that Bill didn't run off. Surprisingly, he stayed. 

The tour group came back, with Stan leading it and Dipper near the end, telling some intrigued customers about the towns history. The group split up as they searched shelves and racks of overpriced, cheaply made merchandise. Bill was still sorting everything out, making sure each bobblehead was facing the front and each in a line. He frowned a little when he heard giggling, and glanced over to where it was coming from. A group of girls were standing near the t-shirts, looking at Bill with small smiles. Bill smiled back, a little confused, before carrying on to replace the stuff. He felt a tap on his shoulder after a few moments.

“Hey!” A girl with brown hair smiled, and watched Bill. 

“...” Bill didn't respond, wanting to finish up replacing the things so he could go back inside the house and hid.

“I love your hair colour. Is it natural or did you dye it?” She twirled a strand of her own brunette hair, obviously not going to leave anytime soon.

He stopped, and looked at her.“I… woke up with it?”

She looked confused. “So… natural?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Sure?” Bill shrugged, and turned back to lining the bobbleheads up again.

She nervously laughed. “Cool… My friends all thought you dyed it, so I guess I was right, once again… Anyway, you work here?”

“No. I got forced to clean this stuff up. I want to go back upstairs to bed, though,” Bill mumbled, sending a glare over to Wendy.

“Huh… Well… if you don’t work here… wanna come and hang out with me and my friends for the day?” She asked sweetly. “We can hang out, get ice cream, walk in the forest, it’ll be fun!”

“Uh… I don’t know if I should…” Bill mumbled softly. Hanging out with people he didn't know very well didn't seem like a good option.

“Come on! It’ll be fun! We would love if a local could show us around,” She said with a small smile, fluttering her eyes at Bill.

Bill shook his head. “No, I’m not supposed to leave the shack.” He had just finished lining everything up straight when he felt a hand on his shoulder, which caused him to move suddenly and knock over two of the bobbleheads.

“Bill! Hey! Wendy said you asked to see… oh, who’s this?” Dipper asked, glancing from the girl to Bill. “Are you making friends?”

“Yes! I’m his friend. My name is Claire. My friends and I are passing through town. We would  _ love _ for someone to show us around, so I thought I’d ask Bill!” She explained, grinning widely at Dipper. A sweet scent filled the air, and Dipper growled. 

“Well, as a matter of fact, we don’t welcome your kind here. And your spell obviously wouldn’t work on a  _ dream demon _ like Bill,” Dipper snapped, keeping his voice low. 

Claire gasped, and took a step back. “Your… You never told me you were one of  _ those kind _ ,” she said, before she rushed back to her friends, and they all left quickly. 

“What… just happened?” Bill asked, a little confused.

“They were Nixies. They were going to lure you to the lake and drown you,” Dipper explained, standing up the bobbleheads. “The edge of their clothes were wet, and their hair was damp, too. Also they’re afraid of anything higher up in power than them, that’s why I mentioned the dream demon thing. Did you not smell the sweet scent?”

“No. All I could smell was how gross you are,” Bill said, covering his nose with his shirt as he began to walk out of the gift shop, leaving an offended Dipper behind.

 

Dipper ended up really  _ really _ needing to shower that evening, as even Stan was starting to comment on how gross he was getting. He decided to run himself a nice, relaxing bath. He had borrowed one of Mabel’s bath bombs that she said she would never use, and watched as the water turned into an array of pinks and purples. The scent of lavender filled the room, and he instantly felt calmer. He smiled. He never usually liked taking baths, as they felt awkward to him. But tonight was different. He needed to relax after the stressful day of leading tours around.

He didn't notice that Bill was opening the door. 

He only noticed when Bill grabbed the back of his neck, and dunked him under the water. 

Dipper was moving his arms about, trying to get Bill to let go. Bill’s grip was tight, and Dipper was certain Bill was going to choke him before he would drown. 

Mabel went to go give Dipper his towel, as he left it in their room. She frowned when she saw the door wide open, and walked by it.

“Dipper…?” She poked her head around the door, and her eyes widened at the sight. “Shit! Fuck, Bill! Get the fuck off of him!” She screamed, pushing Bill over. He let go of Dipper and fell back, a little shocked.

Bill had no clue how he got into the bathroom. He had no idea why Mabel was screaming at him and why Dipper was having an anxiety attack and why his head was soaking wet. Bill ran out of the room, almost tripping down the stairs. He was scared - what happened? 

He ran into Ford, who was rather confused as to what all that screaming was about. He held Bill’s shoulders, looking down at him. Before he could speak he heard loud thudding come down the stairs.    
“Where the  _ fuck _ is he?!” Mabel shouted, and growled when she spotted Bill. She stormed over to him, and Bill took a few steps back.

“Mabel, dear, calm down,” Ford started to say, but again, was interrupted by Mabel.

“No! I’m not going to calm down!” Mabel yelled, pushing Bill backwards. “Fuck you, you asshole! Don’t you  _ dare _ touch my brother!”

“That’s my girl,” Stan cheered, before being nudged in the side by Ford. “I mean, uh, maybe tone down the language, pumpkin?” 

Mabel huffed, glared at Bill, and walked off, leaving a confused Bill in the room, with Stan and Ford. 

“Bill, what did you do?” Ford asked, walking to him to make sure he was okay.

“I didn't do anything…” Bill told him honestly. He heard Mabel walk back in quickly to correct him.

“You fucking tried to drown Dipper! He’s upstairs freaking out because you tried  _ drowning him _ !” Mabel screamed, and was held back by Stan. The two older twins shared a glance, and Stan walked upstairs with Mabel to calm the younger twins down.

Ford turned to Bill, and didn't say anything. He grabbed the ex-demon by the shirt, dragging him down to the basement. Once they got into the elevator, he spoke. “You’re going to tell me what you did, Cipher, or  _ else. _ ”

“Or else what?” Bill asked, glancing up at the scientist. “I’m telling you, I don’t know what happened!” He groaned, as Ford dragged him through his study again. He shoved Bill into a chair, and started to pull down sheets that were covering five screens. 

“What’s all this?” Bill asked, as Ford put something on top of his head, before flipping a switch. 

“ _ Project Mentem _ . It’ll scan your thoughts and show me what you’re thinking about. I built it in a state of paranoia after we fell apart,” Ford explained, as he watched the screens flicker as words start to appear. He turned around to grab a pen and paper, and as he turned back, his face turned white. Over all five screens were the words  _ “Kill him, Bill.” _

“My thoughts are feelin’ fuzzy, Sixer,” Bill mumbled as he rubbed his forehead. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, they were glowing golden.  _ “ _ **_I think we should play a game of ‘cat and mouse’. I’ll be the cat, and you can be the mouse!_ ** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof hello new chapter. tryna add some supernatural elements to this, as well as getting more characters involved. bill's bunny, Bon, is actually from a headcanon my friend + i made up so i hope he doesnt mind me using that idea kinda for this fic :3  
> pls leave comments as to where u think this is going :00 is bill gonna be bad?? will py help with the revolution ?? who knooows i dont lmao


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